With the arrival of autumn, I look back on a hectic summer. Four members of the next generation of my family moved this summer, while at the same time my siblings and I did the final cleaning of the Catskill home that once belonged to our grandparents and parents. It was a summer of change.
One nephew spent the summer in Tulsa, Oklahoma, training for the “Teach for America” program. After traveling from New Jersey, he meet up with 100s of other college graduates to begin this adventure in Oklahoma. On his way back to Indiana, where he is teaching, he and a friend stopped overnight at my home in Kansas.
He wanted to see his cousins, especially my daughter, who lives in Israel and was visiting. We had a great time. His presence helped my daughter as she frantically packed, and he quietly played the guitar.
But in the morning, before he and his friend left, there was a slight issue. Would they be able to fit everything back in the car? And still have room for two 6’3” young men. Before they left Tulsa, they had just thrown everything in. Now it needed to be a bit more organized.
My nephew’s car before he left for Indiana.
That was my job, and I was happy to help. My family would tell you that I am a bit OCD about having things fit in place. I have a map in my brain that cannot be stopped. Spatial relationships work for me. No one loads my dishwasher, but me. And when I buy groceries, no one puts them away but me. I have a program, a diagram in my mind.
In any case, when they drove off, I will not say with room to spare, because there was none. But they had some legroom.
Next was my daughter, she was flying back to Israel. She had come with two, basically empty suitcases, her carryon packed inside the other, larger bag. She was returning with three, all full. I did not have to help her pack. She has my talent for fitting things in, even more so! I just had to judge weight. I am really good at judging the 50-pound limit.
My daughter’s room in the middle of the packing mess.
Then she was off! When she returned to Israel, she was also moving into a new apartment. Some of the items she took back with her were to decorate her new home.
My other nephew called me a few weeks later, on a Thursday. He lived in Lawrence, Kansas, where he earned a master’s degree in math…with honors. His request, the movers were coming on Monday morning, and he needed help packing. I was glad to assist. My husband and I drove out to his apartment of three years on Sunday.
“Do you have boxes?” I asked. His entire kitchen needed to be packed. He did not. We left my husband at the apartment while we went off to purchase boxes. On the way we had the following conversation:
“I might have to give some of my clothing away,” he stated disappointedly.
“Why?” I asked.
“Well in the three years I have lived here, I have purchased new clothing, and they don’t all fit into my suitcases,” he replied.
I did not laugh out loud. I kept calm and said, “That is why we buy boxes.”
“You can put clothing in boxes?” He asked.
“Yes, I will show you later.”
And we went into the store and purchased boxes, tape and packing supplies. I had bought lots of bubble wrap and newspapers with me, but I needed a few extra items.
My husband put the boxes together as I packed the kitchen. I had four boxes sitting on the floor as I analyzed where to place what items and how to pack most successfully without breakage. I gave my nephew four Tupperware containers to put in a box. He threw them in. “No,” I cried. “Put one inside the other. They take less space.”
“How do you figure out where to put what?” He asked.
At this point my husband looked up from his e-book and spoke out, “Think of it as a mathematical problem. That is what she is doing.”
One nephew taped boxes after I packed them.
It helped, that is when my nephew saw a little light in understanding on how to pack.
After I finished the kitchen, and we had packed other items, I had one large box left. “Bring me your clothes now. Keep them on the hangers,” I told my nephew.
“ON the hanger?” He was stunned. “How will you fit them all in the box?
As I folded the clothes in half and put them in the box, I looked up at him. “Bring me more!”
He was elated. “They compress,” he said. And they do. The clothes compress and they all fit in the box.
“This is great,” he exclaimed. “I can just hang them up in the closet when I get there.”
I was laughing at loud at this point. I even tried to text my sister, but I was laughing too much to send a coherent sentence.
He came and lived with us for a few days before driving to Florida with a friend. He is going to study for his PhD in math. Before they left, I analytically loaded his car so everything fit including the two young men. Success. My organizing talents were coming in to good use!
I left a few days after he left to visit my sister in New Jersey for a week. We went up to our Catskills home and met up with our brother. He had ordered a 20-cubic yard dumpster to be delivered. “We cannot leave till this is filled.” He said.
My brother filling the dumpster.
I thought, “No way.” But we filled it!
We emptied out the basement, garage and attic of all the junk accumulated over 52 year. What amazed me is that we had been slowly cleaning this house out for two years, in bits and pieces. But I never imaged we had that much more that needed to be ousted from the bowels and hiding places. Now the house is ready for life again. We will be spending more time up there. And all the junk is gone; the dumpster was filled! (Do not worry, anything that can be recycled, will be. The items that could be used were given away!)
I returned home from New Jersey and New York, to my son’s move. He left his small one bedroom apartment to move in with a college friend. This move was a little smoother. He and his girlfriend had been packing while I was gone. And he was just moving across the parking lot to a two-bedroom place.
Setting up the kitchen in my son’s apartment.
My son, three friends and his girlfriend did all the moving. I stayed in the new apartment and put the kitchen together; lined shelves, put away dishes, glassware, utensils and food. Then I loaded books, videos and games into bookcases. I also directed the boys and where to place the furniture. We got it mostly done in about four hours on a Friday. WOW. His roommate moved in on Sunday. I was exhausted and did not have to help with his move.
Four moves and a house cleansing — sort of like four weddings and a funeral. The moves are all new beginnings for my nephews, son and daughter. Cleaning the house was, in a way, like a funeral. As we cleaned away the items in the attic, basement and garage, we found treasures that brought back wonderful memories. We sat and talked. My sister, nieces and I shared memories. My brother said we were doing the harder work, looking at all the memorabilia.
New beginnings for our children and for us as we celebrate a new year with sweetness and joy.
Tags: catskills, daughter, helping others, Kauneonga Lake, memories, Moving, New Jersey, Packing, parenting, summer activities
zicharonot 