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My Genealogy Research Makes a Difference To A Distant Cousin

23 Apr

When I started my genealogy research, I did my research and wrote my blogs just for my siblings and immediate family.  Over time, I included my cousins on my blog posts.  And then it just snowballed.  I realized that by posting them on Facebook, specifically on Tracing the Tribe group, I might connect with other more distant relatives.  And it happened.  I have had people help me with my research who are not related. I am in touch with distant cousins including Evan, who has been an immense help in making connections.  I have met some of these cousins in person.  And my understanding of my family increases with each new contact.

This blog is different.  In this instance, I discovered that the information I had from speaking with my grandmother years ago helped solve the family mystery of a women who is actually my third cousin, our grandmother’s were first cousins.

It started with an email from Evan. (He really does a great job keeping in touch with all the cousins) He connected me with a distant cousin named Sherry, the granddaughter of a woman named Esther who was born about 1897/1898.  He said she was part of my branch of the family and thought I could help.  I could.

A number of years ago, I wrote a blog about my grandmother entitled “Too Many Esthers” (see blog below) and “Updated Esther “(see blog below).  My Grandma Esther was one of 5 or 6 first cousins all named for their maternal grandmother, all named Esther, all born around the same time. All were given nicknames.  My grandmother was known as Curly Esther.

Sherry wrote back to Evan and me: (She has given me permission to write this blog, I have edited her emails for privacy and brevity.).  “Thank you for contacting me!  I had trouble with my grandmother, and who her parents truly were.  There were so many unanswered questions and there are no living family members in my close family that know anything more than I do.  I got pretty frustrated and sort of put it on the back burner.  I would be really interested in what you found out!”

I immediately responded: “It’s nice to be reconnected. I am the granddaughter of another Esther born in 1898.  I have been researching the family for years. In late 1970s I sat down with my Grandma and got the names of all of her mother’s siblings. The children of Elka/Esther Lew and Victor/Avigdor Wolf. Here are two of my blogs that will lead back to some of my research and introduce you to the family. The attached photo is our great great grandparents Esther and Victor Wolf(f).

Actually, I knew immediately who her grandmother had to be, which is why I sent her the blogs about the Esthers.  There was one cousin known as Meshugannah Esther.  Her mother Chamka came to the USA pregnant with three children.  Her husband had passed away before she came.  After their daughter, Esther, was born and weaned, she was given to a different sister, Sarah, who could not have children, to raise as her own.  To make things more confusing, Chamka was known as Anna in the USA, but her Hebrew name was Nechama.  Her family called her only Chamka/Chamky.

I must say I was truly happy to receive a reply from Sherry.  Her response filled me with joy to know that my research and pictures helped her.  Here is an edited version of her response.

“Wow!  I am so overwhelmed and thrilled with this connection.  I was getting so frustrated with trying to figure out my grandmother’s story and had no one to ask.  

I did hear that “grandma didn’t find out until the day she was engaged that her aunt was her mother and her mother was her aunt”.  So I knew that there was information that I was missing in order to fill in the blanks.  

“Meshuganah Esther moved in with my family when I was 10 years old. We lived next door to Aunt Lenore and her family.  Grandma was married 5 times!  She felt she needed to do that in order for her to care for her children. My grandmother passed in June of 1993.

“Ellen, you spoke of the cousins’ club meetings.  I remember them although I think I spent most of the time hiding behind my mother’s skirt…

“I actually gasped out loud when I opened the picture of Esther and Victor Wolf.  I have that picture and I had no idea who they were.

Thank you, dear cousins.  This is a gift.”

My initial response to this was just as excited. I was elated that I could help.

“I am so glad that you were able to make connections about the family through my blogs. I am so glad that you have that photo as well, and now know who it is.  It is amazing to have photos of great grandparents, but great great grandparents is really special. 

“Did you see the picture of Chamka and Lenore?  I am not sure which blog it is in.

I can understand a bit why she wasn’t told which sister was her mother.  But I am sure it was a big shock at the time. It was one of those open secrets that everyone knows but does not discuss.”

Since she did not have nor seen the photo of her great grandmother Chamka with her granddaughter Lenore, I sent her the photo and the information that was written on the back. “Tante Chamky and Lenore. Lenore was Meshuggana Esther’s daughter. Esther was raised by Tante Sarah, but was really Chamky’s daughter.”

I am currently looking for the photo so I can send her it for her family records.

Thanks to Tracing the Tribe, over the years, I have connected with a number of cousins.  But this connection honestly made me immensely happy.  

Too Many Esthers!
Updated Esthers
The Descendants of Esther (Lew) and Victor (Avigdor) Wolff/Wolf

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 Finding Answers About My Paternal Great Grandmother

17 Apr

In Ashkenazi Jewish custom we name our children for those beloved family members who have passed away. I was always told that I was named after three of my great grandmothers:

Chava was for my maternal grandfather’s mother, Chava, who was murdered in the Shoah.

Sara was for my maternal grandmother’s mother Sara/Sura, who died in the 1920s in Poland, and for my paternal grandfather’s mother as her name was Sarah as well.

I knew about my two maternal great grandmothers, because there were family stories about them.  But I knew nothing about my paternal great grandmother even though she  lived in the United States and is buried in New York.  I have recently realized there is more to the story about her and my name. 

I have been searching for information about my paternal great grandmother  for years.  The first real clue was when we first saw a photo of her about five years ago.  We did not even know we had one!  But my first cousin was searching through her family’s old photos and discovered one of her with my uncle.  (See blog below.)

More information followed when my distant cousin, Evan, who is a great researcher, found my grandparent’s marriage license.  They were married in January of 1923.  It contained my great grandmother’s maiden name which we never knew: Ritt.

Evan also found a puzzle piece for me when he found her death certificate, which was packed with information. The final link was when Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, New York, where she was buried on January 29, 1938, sent me a photo of her matzevah (tombstone).

I now can tell my family more about my mysterious great grandmother, who I now know is named Chaya Sarah, so close to my own name of Chava Sara, that I think I was bound to have this name.

My great grandmother did not have an easy life.  She gave birth to 11 children. Eight survived to adulthood.  She lost her oldest daughter, Celia, to swine flu when she was in her 20s.  Her oldest son, Samuel, was mentally ill and spent most of his adult life institutionalized.  She and her husband, Abraham, were divorced in the 1930s.  A very unusual occurrence for a Jewish woman, well for any woman, in that time period.

My Great Grandma Sarah died on January 28, 1938, from cancer of the panaceas at Jewish Hospital of Brooklyn, when she was 68 years old.  My grandfather, then the oldest living child signed the death certificate and made the arrangements.

I have three thoughts about this information.  First, the line through my grandfather is cancer free.  But I have since learned that the line through his youngest sibling, Jacob, was not as kind. We all thought Jacob had disappeared after he moved to England when my dad was a child. But in fact he died when he was in his fifties from cancer, as did his son Rufus.  The cancer gene followed them. (See blog below.)

Second, I think I know why I was named for her.  She died in late January.  Years later, I was born in late January.  It made sense.  Finally, I am currently close to her age when she died.  And that touches me that I found out now.

I know that she was born about 1870, in France.  That she and her parents lived in France surprised me. But her father and mother, Hirsh and Flora Ritt, were from Poland.  So I think they were in transit from Poland to the USA when she was born.  I have no proof, but it seems right.  I also know that her father died before 1892 because my grandfather was named for him. Zvi Hirsh.  I now know that she was about 22 when she had her third child, and her other children were toddlers when my grandfather was born.

She died when my Dad was just 9 years old.  He really did not have many memories of her or information.  But now we know her name and also the names of my great great grandparents: Chaya Sarah Ritt, the daughter of Hirsh Zvi and Flora Ritt.  We now can add their memories to our family.

I want to thank the personnel of Beth David Cemetery. I now have photos of the graves of four of my great grandparents.

The Gift of a Photo Becomes a Gift of Genealogy
Did Great Aunt Celia Die From the Spanish Flu?
Update About My Grandfather’s Mysterious Brother Jacob

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Uncle Sammy Presents A Surprise!!

25 Feb

Of my paternal grandmother’s two brothers, I must admit I liked Uncle Sammy more. He was always jovial and happy.  But he also had a bit of scandal attached to him.  Whenever he was around or came to family events, my grandma would get a bit agitated, waiting for something to happen.

I know she was not great friends with his wife, who I always assumed was his second wife.  I even wrote about her a previous blog. (See blog below.).  But Uncle Sammy always had a smile.  He was the youngest sibling and just seemed the most relaxed. Being around him made me happy.  But then I also loved my great uncle Lenny, who taught me how to bet on the horses. (See blog below)

Uncle Sammy worked as a bus driver from the Port Authority in New York City.   I actually remember one time waiting for a bus with my Mom at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, a giant bus hub in Manhattan, when I actually saw my great Uncle.  It was such a surprise.  He beeped his horn and stopped his bus for a moment and to say hello to us. I was so excited!

I vaguely remember that he eventually became a supervisor at the Port Authority.  But, although I can find a docuent stating he was a bus driver, I have been unable tto confirm the promotion. When I ask my older cousins, they do not remember much about him at all. I might have been the only fascinated by him.

My Uncle Sammy died young, in his early 60s.  I do not know the exact date, but I was probably 13 or 14. So around 1968 – 1969.

I knew he was married at least two times.  He married his first wife, Adele, in 1932, when he was in his 20s.  They had one daughter, Vesta.  (Thanks to her unusual name, it is easy to find him!)  I never knew Adele, although I did meet Vesta once or twice.  She was 20 years older than me.  When I knew Uncle Sammy, he was married to Sylvia, who I assumed was his second wife.

But my view of Uncle Sammy changed just a little while searching for my Grandmother’s young brother who died as a toddler.  (See blog below.).  While searching for Jacob, EW (my distant cousin and excellent researcher) found a startling fact about Uncle Sammy.  It seems he had a third wife!!! 

When he was 43 years old, in the 1950 census, he had a wife named Gloria who was 14 years younger, jsut 29.  His then 16-year-old daughter was living with them.   But this  entry in the 1950 census is important because it confirms that he was a bus driver.

I have not been able to find any other documents about Uncle Sammy, not his death certificate or where he is buried.  Although I do know that his widow Sylvia remained in Kew Gardens after he died.  She stayed in touch with our family and came to family events.

EW did find one more item for me.  Uncle Sammy’s daughter, Vesta Jean got married in 1969. He told me that she is listed as Vesta Goldman on her marriage license   But as you can see here, in the announcements she took her stepfather’s last name, Saltzman. 

I think Uncle Sammy had passed away by then.  Because I cannot imagine she would have written her dad out of her marriage if he was still alive. But I do not know for sure, as here it says that she was married by a Reverend. And marrying someone who was not Jewish might have been an issue, because I never knew that Vesta had married.  And I do not think anyone in the Goldman family went to the wedding. As far as I know, Vesta and her husband Clifford, did not have children. 

I hope I can one day find where Uncle Sammy is buried. With the name Samuel Goldman, he is difficult to find. There were many Samuel Goldmans in New York City. EW checked the Bialystoker lists, as other members of my family are listed there. But no luck. With this blog I hope to keep Uncle Sammy’s memory alive for our family.

Grandma Thelma Knows What She Knows

https://zicharonot.com/2015/02/18/the-littlest-gambler-learning-about-horse-races-in-the-catskills/

https://zicharonot.com/2024/01/12/baby-jacob-is-found/

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Hokusai’s 36 Views of Mt. Fiji at The Bowers Museum

8 Dec

In November I was able to see Hokusai’s famous print, “The Great Wave” in person.  As someone who has loved Japanese art since childhood, this was a special moment. 

To be honest, I did not know I was going to see Hokusai’s work that day. My husband and I were in California for a meeting he was attendin.  I had the day free for my own pursuits, so I spent the day with cousins.  They recommended that we go to the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana, an plan that was wonderful to me, I love museums.

The main building is new, but it is attached to the original Spanish-style home that once belonged to the Bowers family.  You enter the museum through a lovely Courtyard that leads you into the museum.  Right at the front is the Tangata Restaurant where we ate lunch.  Delicious.  From the lovely entrance and delectable food, I knew this was going to be a great day.

I used to look at every single item in an exhibit, which would take me for hours.  But now, on the advice of a friend’s daughter who was a museum curator, I find one or two items per exhibit and focus on them.  So here are my favorites:

The original building is just stunning.  The parts we could see, wood ceilings, carved doors, stone fireplaces, added to the atmosphere.  In one room there was a display about some of the original settlers and members of the Bowers family featuring their possessions in the California Legacies exhibit.

I enjoyed the exhibit, “Gemstone and Carvings.” The crystal skull made us all think of the Indian Jones movie. As for the native American art, my favorite display was the Women’s Basketry Hats that was in the First Californias exhibit. Woven by the Yurok, Hupa and Karok women, these hats caught my eye.  I would actually wear one of them!

Finally, the special exhibit, “Beyond the Great Wave, Works by Hokusai from the British Museum.”  It is only at the museum through January 7, 2024, so go soon.  It is wonderful.

The exhibit follows Hokusai’s work throughout his life, leading up to the Great Wave and then beyond it.  Seeing all these wonderful wood block prints, and the skill it would take to create them, was exciting.  There is even a short video on how the wood blocks are made.

Seeing almost all the of prints from “36 Views of Mt. Fiji” and the one that has caught the attention of the world, I was surprised, honestly, about how small the prints were in size.  In my mind they must be enormous. Instead they are all small enough to fit into a portfolio.

I enjoyed seeing the prints he made at different stages in his life.  My favorites were the ones of scenes in Japan with people going about activities. They are extremely colorful.   But I focused my camera on the Great Wave and two other prints from the series. I decided I liked these especially,  because like the Great Wave, the main color was Prussian Blue, a color that I adore. 

We did not have time to go to all of the exhibits in the museum.  In reality you cannot see everything in a museum in one visit.  But for those visiting the Santa Ana area, a visit to the Bowers Museum is worthwhile.

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A Mother’s Musings About Israel

15 Nov

This is my diary over the last five weeks of the Israel – Hamas War. There are many more, but I think these do the best to explain my feelings. I already wrote a blog about thanking the helpers. You can see links to this and another blog below.

October 7. 7:30 am

Just spoke to my daughter. They spent hours in their safe room. They are ok. But stressed and distressed. Many Israelis have been killed, hundreds injured, and dozens taken captive. Hamas terrorists surprise attack on the southern areas and bombing of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

Hamas and Hezbollah are evil attacking civilians, women, children, Jews and Bedouin. They really don’t care who they kill. This was not an attack on a military area. This was attack on innocents at parties, at home at play.

October 12:

United just cancelled our flight to Israel. Not unexpected. But disappointing for several reasons. First, we do not get to see my daughter and son in law and all the other family and friends we planned to visit. Second because United is even afraid to fly a week from now which increases my anxiety by many multiplication of numeric factors.

In the spirit of the recent high holidays, I say: I am angry, I am anxious, I am not sleeping, I am saddened, I am frustrated, I am frightened. I keep thinking of Yom Kippur and how it is inscribed on who will die and how. And I have a scream that is sitting at the bottom of my throat waiting to come out.

October 18:

At this very moment, 8:39 am, I should be landing in Israel at 4:39 pm. Instead I am home in Kansas.

There is nothing else to say except love and prayers for all my family and friends in Israel who I was hoping to visit.

Family update. They are fine. There has only been one rocket a day for a while. My daughter is extremely busy with her work at CyberWell trying to stem the horrible flow of anti-Israel, anti-Semitic and violence toward Jews content off social media. They had a training for volunteers to help identify some of this. If you would be interested in watching the 50-minute webinar and do something productive. Let Lara or me know. I personally have reported posts to the social media platforms and also to CyberWell. This makes a big difference. If everyone one reported one or two a day we can make a change!!!

October 20

I am thankful that he is president during this difficult time. His support for Israel, his fight against baseless hatred is just what we needed. When I visit my elders, many of whom remember the late 1930s and 1940s and are terrified, I can honestly say this is not the same. The president of the USA and many others in government are supporting us.

October 21

My comment today: Do you think the bombing from Gaza has stopped because all you hear in the news is that Israel is attacking Gaza. Have you heard that rockets are still speeding to Tel Aviv, Yafo, Holon, and Rishon LeZion as well as to the south. Many rockets every day. Today my daughter’s alert told of of the incoming all around her community. It is not over. Hamas is still attacking Israel. There is a reason why Hamas has to be eradicated from the world.

Do I feel badly that children are being hurt. Of course. But I am tired of hearing now that Gaza is without water or electricity. Israel has said, return the hostages and we will turn it back on. Give them back.

I am tired of people saying Israel should step down. You are not under the threat of a bomb landing on your home, you are not attending funerals for people you know or family members, you are not sending you son, daughter, spouse, brother, sister off to battle.

The news media is not only focus on what Israel might do. Giving the impression that in Israel it is peaceful. NO it is NOT. Not on the truth about what is happening. Those who live around Gaza have been evacuated. Those who live in the north are on voluntary evacuation.

Stand up for Israel and the impact of this crisis on the citizens. If you want to be angry, be angry at Hamas for what they did murdering 1400 innocent people in their homes; for knowing that what they would do would impact the innocent people of Gaza; for preparing and protecting themselves from the bombing but not the civilians of Gaza. Be angry at the other Moslem countries surrounding the area that want to escalate the war, be angry at Egypt and Jordan and other countries that refuse to help ease the crisis in Gaza.

This war is not what Israel wanted. This is a war that Hamas started and Hamas wanted. Israel is a tiny country surrounded by large land masses inhabited by Moslems. They have all they and they could want. But what many do want is the total annihilating of Israel.

All over the world people are attacking Jewish people who have nothing to do with Israel. So the people who Chant “Not in my Name” are playing into the work of Hamas and so are also guilty for any more attacks on Jews. It is opening a door for more killing and it is wrong. What they should be saying is return the hostages and stop attacking Israel.

October 23

The false news reports about the hospital bombing which was a failed rocket by Hamas leads to violence against Jews world wide. It is amazing, Hamas attacks Israel and kills 1400 people and wounds over 3000. Sends over 6400 rockets and bombs into Israel and in the U.S. and throughout the world people attack Jews. Attack the terrorists who started this. I am horrified by the hatred.

November 3

I pray each day for the conflict in Israel/Gaza to end. For the Hamas to release the prisoners/hostages and to surrender and face the consequences of their crimes. Hamas has continued to threatened Jews and Israel throughout this month and has continued to send rockets into Israel. They have built tunnels under neighborhoods, hospitals and schools. They have threatened and attacked Israeli communities for decades!

I wish there was an easier way to stop the terrorists then this bombing and siege of Gaza City. But the Hamas has stockpiled rockets and weapons, as well as food, water, oil and other supplies. They prepared for this assault on Israel and the return assault on them without caring about any civilians.

During the attack on Israel, Hamas terrorists cut the supply lines that bring water and electricity from Israel to Gaza. Life means nothing to them until they destroy all Jewish life in Israel.

It is time for the terror of Hamas and Hezbollah to end. For all to face the fact that Israel exists and will not disappear. So that all people in the region can live in peace and coexist, so that children will not suffer and innocent people die on either side.

But the increased actions of Jew Hatred that is now growing throughout the world, actually shows the double standard with which Israel and the Jewish communities face. Israel did not start this. On a holiday weekend, when people were sleeping in their beds, Hamas attacked, murdered, mutilated, took captive and wounded almost 6000 people. Over 1400 dead, 240 captive, over 4000 wounded. those killed were mostly Jewish, but many were Moslem and Beduion. Now in the USA there a large numbers that did not condemn Hamas. That is shocking!

No one wants war. Not in Ukraine; Not in Syria; Not in Sudan; Not in Israel; Not in Gaza. Every life has value: Jew, Christian, Moslem, Bahai, Druze, Shinto, Buddist, Hindu, all religions, ethnicities and races.

Shalom, Saalam, Paz, Paix, Friedan, Pace, Peace!

November  4

This is the message I sent to the International Red Cross:

So far only 4 hostages taken by Hamas have been released. One of the main roles of the Red Cross is to help free hostages throughout the world. I have supported the Red Cross for many years. But the unequal and biased work going on now where the hostages, infants, children, women, men, elderly, are ignored because most of them are Jewish is an affront to all what the red cross is supposed to stand for. SHAME ON YOU! Tell Hamas to release the hostages.

We went to a Havdalah service at Leawood City Hall. After the service we each held the photo of a hostage and then stood in silence for 241 seconds in honor of those held hostage by Hamas.

November 13

A relative’s friend asked me if I at all thought Israel was wrong. Here is my response and it is what I believe.

Define wrong. Is it wrong for Hamas to have come into Israel and murder innocents children, women, men, elderly in their homes on a holiday weekend? Is it wrong for Hamas to build their tunnels and shoot rockets off from hospitals and schools using the children and the sick as shields against others? IS it wrong for Hamas to take the funding and cement and fuel sent into Gaza for the people to continue to create and buy weapons and tunnels to attack Israel? Is it wrong for Hamas to keep the people of Gaza captive for years, because you should know that Israel left the Gaze over 15 years ago and withdrew all their people and turn everything over to the Palestinians who voted to put Hamas in power? Is is wrong that Egypt also has a border with Gaza, but they usually keep their border closed and supply little to no help to the people there? Is it wrong that the surrounding Arab countries have kept the people who fled Israel in refugee camps and refused to intergrate them into society, while forcing out an equal number of Jewish citizens who were integrated into Israel, the USA and other countries? Just asking you how you define wrong.

Israel told people to evacuate, Hamas would not let them. ISrael waited over a week to attack so that people could leave. Israel gave fuel. For weeks we have heard that the hospitals would run out of fuel, they did not. Israel repeatedly told the hospital to evacuate. They did not. They have caved to Hamas demands.

You believe everything Hamas says, even though throughout the world they know they are terrorist. The 27 EU countries have condemned Hamas and supported Israel.

So define who is wrong here. To me it is Hamas. ISreal had no intention of going to war on Hamas till Hamas killed and mutilated over 1200 people. And took 240 hostages. What happened after October 7 is on the hands of Hamas.

This would end if Hamas released the hostages and surrender. Why don’t you call for that instead of condemning Israel?

So who do I think is wrong? YOU and Hamas.

I hope that answers your question.

How This American Mother Whose Daughter Lives In Israel Is Feeling
Thank You to The Helpers

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After A Trip Was Cancelled, We Went to Tulsa

7 Nov

Since April, I have been telling my husband that I wanted to go to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and visit the Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie museums.  I had the trip planned for the longest time.  Our first stop would be these two museums, then we would visit with friends of his and perhaps one of his cousins in Oklahoma.  On the way back I wanted to stop in Wichita, see more cousins, spend the night, then on the way home visit the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson, Kansas.

Though I kept talking about it, we never got around to do it this summer.  But this fall, our plans changed quickly and radically.  We were supposed to go to Israel where our daughter and her husband live.  The war changed our plans, but my husband still had two weeks of vacation.  I had to do something.  Just sitting home and moping and worrying was not an option. I am the type of person who can usually find the good in any situation.  And I was determined to find some small element of good.

Road Trip Number 1!

We reached out to our people; I made hotel reservations; and off we went.

The hotel we stayed at in downtown Tulsa was in easy walking to the two archive/museums.  They are next door to each other.  On our walk towards the museums, we saw a large post indicating that we were entering the Historic Greenwood District. This is the area where once a thriving Black community settled before the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre took place.  We thought it was extremely apropos that the museums dedicated to these two musical activists were in this area.  It just fit.

I loved both museums.  They each traced the lives of two of my musical heroes.  Even though their music was written decades apart, they actually knew each other.  One was born Jewish, the other was married to a Jewish woman and fought in WW2. Among Guthrie’s papers is one that reads, “Beat Hitler quick.” That resonated with me with all the Jew Hatred going on right now. The museums are both well worth the visit.  You can spend time watching the videos or just walk through.  I loved reading about them, listening to their music, and looking at their artifacts.  At the Guthrie Museum, you must try the virtual reality of the dust storms that devastated Oklahoma. WOW.

That evening we ate dinner with our friends. I asked about the two museums I wanted to see. The husband actually serves on the board of the Sherwin Miller Museum of Jewish Art.  At dinner he told us a bit about the museum, I realized it was much bigger than I anticipated.  For a community of about 1800 Jewish residents, it was really special. 

The section about the Holocaust was difficult as such museums always have to be.  But I loved how they imagined KrystalNacht.  I was so touched by the stone display that is a memorial to the 1.5 million Jewish children killed. I had tears in my eyes thinking about the children who were recently murdered by Hamas.  How could I not compare the two? The death of every child takes a toll on society.

Upstairs was dedicated to modern Jewish Life.  They had a sanctuary set up that must be wonderful to teach about Judaism to those who come to visit.  For me, personally, I loved the special exhibit of mezuzahs, the scrolls we put on our doorposts.

From there we went to the Philbrook Museum of Art. The house was built by Waite Phillips, who started a ‘little’ oil company. Phillips and his family lived there for only 11 years, and then they gifted the house and 23 acres of land to Tulsa for an art museum. Okay, I will be honest with you, the art in the house is great.  But the house itself is amazing.  I love old houses.  And this one does not disappoint.  The grounds are also stunning.  Well worth a couple of hours to walk through and visit.  It just cheered me up. I could see myself sitting outside for hours.  We especially loved all the wonderful milkweed and butterfly gardens. 

After we got back to our hotel, my husband’s cousin drove in from Oklahoma City to visit us.  She surprised me with a gift, her grandmother’s mah jong set.  She told me that no one in her family plays and she knew that I did, so she gave it to me.  Her grandmother and my husband’s mother were sisters.  I have to say having both of their mah jong sets gives me joy.  It was great catching up with her and seeing pictures of her family and sharing photos of our family.

The next morning it was on to Wichita.  One note about the drive from Texas to Kansas.  It is VERY flat and dusty.  There were no crops really, just fields and fields of red dirt.  However, and I am really sorry I could not get a photo of this, besides the oil well arms pumping away there were also giant windmills.  And at one spot there was a windmill farm circulating air and making e;ectricity above the same field where the oil well arms were pumping oil.  It would have been a great photo representing the changes coming to society as we switch to rely on renewable energy.

Of course I contacted our Wichita cousins as soon as we arrived and then spent the next seven hours with them.  It was great.  We had two meals with everyone. But also had time for us older adults to just visit.  We have not seen them for about six years, which is ridiculous.  Wichita is just three hours from home. I vowed that we would come back more often.  We need to see his first cousins and also visit some museums.  (My husband hates museums, but he loves me.)

Next morning on to Hutchinson and the Cosmosphere, one of my favorite museums in Kansas.  Honestly, we went several times when our children were younger.  In fact, our daughter attended two summers of Space Camp there and loved them.  Even though we have been members for about 28 years, we have not been there for about 20 years.  It was definitely time to go back and see the changes!

The museum exhibits are wonderful.  If you love space and NASA, you will love this museum. The real Apollo 13 space craft is there. All the exhibits have been redesigned since our last trip. Definitely for the better.  We watched one of the two movies, about the Blue Whales.  That cheered us up. We were pretty sure that this documentary would end on a sad note, but NO, the Blue whales are coming back and increasing in numbers.  Honestly, I think Star Trek’s movie has something to do with that. It was a good start to the visit. 

While we were walking around, I noticed a little exhibit off to the side, The V-2 Gallery, which was all about the V-1 and V-2 rockets that the Nazis used to bomb and terrorize London.  In the past the history of these rockets was sort of not mentioned.  Just as it was not always advertised that Wernher von Braun, who helped start the United States aerospace industry, was a member of the SS and helped Nazis build their death rockets.  This exhibit made it very clear.  It also made clear that the rockets were built by slave laborers in concentration camps.  And over 500 prisoners were killed when the Allies bombed the factory, as the prisoners were locked in and could not escape.  These rockets decimated London causing the deaths of over 20,000 people.  A sad start to the aerospace history. But one I think should not be forgotten.

Our first Fall Road Trip was a great adventure.  We loved seeing friends and family.  We loved visiting new museums and revisiting the Cosmosphere.  Personally, in this time of great stress for the Jewish community of the world and the horrors of war, I was glad to get away.  But at the same time, I am glad that we were able to visit places that show good in the world and how society can survive war and hatred. 

http://www.jewishmuseumtulsa.org

http://www.cosmo.org

http://www.Philbrook.org

http://www.bobdylancenter.com

http://www.woodyguthriecenter.org

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Learning More About The Manhattan Project

20 Aug

We went to see Oppenheimer, a movie I knew I had to see, but at the same time I was dreading it. We all hear about Los Alamos and what happened secretly in New Mexico for years as the science was developed to create the Trinity device that effectively ended WW2, while also changing the world for eternity. 

I have been to the Truman Library in Independence, Missouri.  I saw the documentation about how President Truman found out about the Manhattan Project. The movies about the impact of the bombs were horrifying.  To see the ‘green plug’ from the Fat Man, plutonium bomb that fell on Nagasaki actually made me shiver.

I knew about the Manhattan Project and the work done in Los Alamos, but I was not aware of what happened in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.  And it was not until this summer that I learned about Hanford, Washington.

Oak Ridge, Tennessee, was the military headquarters for the Manhattan Project.  The town of Hanford, Washington, was where the plutonium was processed. I am not a physicist or an historian of WW2. I knew the little bit that I knew, and to be honest that was enough. Knowing what I know now is a bit frightening.

This summer we took a cruise on the Columbia and Snake rivers to learn about the Lewis and Clark Expedition.  Though I did learn so much about the history of that journey, docking near Hanford. opened my eyes to the immensity of the Manhattan Project and the multiple places where the secret experiments were carried out and the bombs were manufactured.

The Hanford Engineering Works was where the plutonium was processed.  This almost 600-square-mile site was another secret city where people worked on the development of the nuclear bomb.   To this day, two thirds of our country’s nuclear waste is contained somewhere on this site.  The water and air continue to be monitored. Barriers have been built to keep the waste contained.   Families with children live and work here.  I am not sure I would want to live there.  But many do.

While in the Hanford area, in what is called the Tri-Cities, we visited the REACH Museum. The museum focus on this area and the time before Hanford became part of the Manhattan Project, but it also has an area devoted to the development of the atomic bomb.  For me this was a revelation.  I had absolutely no idea what happened here! Just like in Los Alamos, an entire town and community was developed in a secluded area basically uninhabited.

In 2015 the Manhattan Project National Historical Park was created.  This part preserves areas in the three sites where the atomic bomb and its secret development was worked on: Los Alamos, Oak Ridge and Hanford. Parts of these sites are open to the public.

Watching Oppenheimer was emotionally intense.  To see how these people came together to invent the unimaginable and how some were horrified by what they had developed.  To see Oppenheimergo from a man honored for his work as the director of the Manhattan Project to a pariah for his work afterwards to keep additional bombs from being developed. 

To see how he was attacked and verified was a bit frightening.  I knew about MaCarthyism and the attack on many Americans because they might have once been communists.  I learned in college how these attacks hurt many innocent people.  And how Joseph McCarthy was finally stopped.  I did not know that the fear about communism also impacted Robert Oppenheimer. 

In the movie they ask him when opinions on the bomb and what he did had changed.  To me this was a ridiculous question. Can you imagine being among those scientist who learned how to use the power of the atom and plutonium to kill hundreds of thousands of people?   I would imagine that many had second thoughts about what they had unleashed even though the bombs did end the war with Japan.

At the REACH Museum this display indicates increased bombs during the Cold War.

We all need to learn about how the bomb was developed and the efforts to stop the continued development of bombs in the 1950s.  Perhaps the world would be a different place if that had happened.  Because even today the fear of nuclear bombs continues to be a threat to our world.  So we have to ask, as Oppenheimer did, did he “become Death, the destroyer of worlds”? 

I hope not.

To learn about the Manhattan Project National Park   https://www.nps.gov/mapr/index.htm

The Reach Museum: https://visitthereach.us/

Wonderful Changes at Truman Presidential Library

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Technology Equals No Division

17 Jul

I had the most pleasant dinner with my husband and siblings in a restaurant in Montclair, NJ. The food, fish for all of us and ice cream and sorbet for dessert was delightful. We chatted and ate and visited and finally were ready to leave.

I have to admit that perhaps we asked for too much. We wanted to divide the check so that my husband and I paid half and my siblings each paid a quarter of the bill. The waitress said it was fine. And so we gave her three credit cards and waited. And waited. And waited. I should have known something was not working out.

Our bill for four people was $129.02. She came back with my credit card and a receipt for $86. She then was going to divide the $43.02 between my siblings. I was astounded that she did not even realize that this was not divided in HALF. It was two-thirds and a third, but definitely not half. $86 and $43 are NOT equal!

I went up with my receipts to speak to her while she was running the other cards. I politely said, “Wait. This is not right. $86 Is not half of $129.02.”

She was not convinced. “Are you sure? I have to get my manager,” she told me as she hustled away with a dazed look on her face.

A few minutes later the manager came. “How cam I help? ” He was pleasant.

“This is wrong. $86 is not half of $129.02. ” I told him. I was sure he would understand. But no such luck. “You asked for half on one card and the rest divided between those two!” He told me.

“Yes half. $86 is not half of $129.02. Half of $130 is $65. This is wrong.” I started doing the math, the division on a piece of paper. I showed him the math. But that was not what he needed. I offered to show him on my phone calculator. But no. He had a calculator that he pulled out.

He typed in 1292. No I said. You need a decimal. It is 129.02. He might have been anxious at this point. I noticed my siblings laughing and looking at me. I was getting exasperated. And I now was in teacher mode. I had taught at a high school. There is a definite teacher voice and look that can come over me.

In any case he correctly typed in 129.02 and divided by 2. 64.51 was the number it read. “You are right,” he admitted. “I am sorry. I will fix it. ”

I wanted to make it easy. I wanted him to credit my sister’s account and just put the rest on my card, the other $43.02. We would sort it out later. But that was too much as well. He ended up crediting my account and my sister’s. He ran a new receipt putting all the money on mine. I paid , added tip and we settled up.

My siblings laughed all the way to the car. They knew I was frustrated, they told me that the look of our mother came over me as I tried to explain the math to the manager. Mom taught fourth grade for 30 years.

“I just can’t understand how the waitress and the manager did not see that $86 was not half. $43 and $86 are not equal. Did they not understand half, divide by two,” I was still frustrated.

I was concerned that they did not believe my division that I did on paper. They would only believe a calculator. I felt like I was in a science fiction novel that I had read years ago where a boy who could do math in his head was considered a genius because everyone else HAD to use a calculator!

I am worried Technology is destroying the ability to calculate math in our brains.

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My Last Ever Field Trip: Veteran’s Community Project

10 Jun

I retired.  I planned it since Thanksgiving weekend 2022.  I knew that at the end of the school year, I would be completing my almost 13 years as the fund development and public relations director for the the Accelerated Schools of Overland Park.  I loved my job.  I loved the people I worked with, the children we helped and the work I actually did.  When I turned in my keys and walked to my car, I had little tears and a feeling of melancholy.  I knew I was doing the right thing.  I was ready.  But a part of me was sad. I had so much joy in my job!  Including my final field trip in April. But first…

There were things I loved about my job.   I liked the part of the job that had to do with fundraising and PR.  That was what I was trained to do.  But what I had fun doing was all the extra stuff.  For years I planned the graduation and awards ceremonies.  I worked with the hotels or event sites and planned parties. Originally, I also planned all the staff parties and got the food and set them up.    During the past few years several teachers took that over.

For a long time, I scheduled speakers and kept schedules for the field trips.  The teachers planned these, but I would come up with some ideas and help out when needed.  Which was great for me, it gave me a reason to go to more museums.  And I love museums.   The speakers were really my main job.  We had parents sometimes, or just people I knew.  Veternarians, doctors, financial planners, artists, as well as speakers from different organizations like Metropolitan Organization to Combat Sexual Assault (MOCSA) and Midwest Center Holocaust Education (MCHE).  Once a  parent who was involved in Water.Org came.  That was great.

But what I really loved were the community service projects I got to arrange.  I arranged for recycling at the school.  I had someone from Johnson County government come to speak to the students and staff about recycling.  Then I was able to arrange for a non profit, L’Arche Heartland, that has a sheltered workshop.  They collect recycling from some offices as a job for their clients.  It was a perfect match, our school that caters to students who are different and thrive better in our school.  And the recycling collected by special needs adults. I loved that I was able to arrange that.

For several years before and after COVID we collected food for Harvesters.  In my early years we even had our older students go to Harvesters once a year and help at the warehouse.  Of course that stopped with COVID.

The last community service was one of my favorites.  I made contact with the Veteran’s Community Project (VCP) for our school to help them this year.  The wonderful Kristin Griffin, a VCP staff member,  came to speak to our students.  The student council had decided to up our collections and collected almost 250 pairs of socks before the talk in January 2023.  So when Kirsten came to talk, we gave her the socks.  Later in the year, during the month of February we collected hygiene products for the VCP. 

After Spring Break, the student council advisor, the three members of the student council and I went to the VCP campus to meet with Kristin and to tour it. I was so excited.  I had been watching the creation of this village since it started.  The idea of providing tiny homes for homeless veterans just touched my heart.  And to actually get to tour it and see it in person and to learn more about it was wonderful.  We got to go inside one of the tiny homes. We saw the ‘store’ area where any homeless veteran can come to get supplies. We learned about how they help all veterans.

I loved that in the Less Thompson Building there is a communal kitchen where residents learn to cook. Also offices for a doctor, dentist and veternerian to help with medical issues both human and companions. Social workers are on staff as well to help the veterans deal with other issues. The hope is that these veterans can transition to other homes and find jobs. There was so much more to see and learn about. What a wonderful idea that was conceived by veterans wanting to help other veterans. They were truly wonderful in their ambitions.

The Kansas City campus of VCP has started a nationwide trend. There are now VCP villages planned in six other cities with the national headquarters are here in KC. I read Jason Kander’s book, Invisible Storm, and was glad to know that someone who really understood the plight of veterans is now the CEO of VCP. We did not tour the national offices, but we could see the building across the street.

I was so impressed and so pleased to be able to go with the students on my last ever field trip to the Veteran’s Community Project.  It was a real moment of joy for my last year at the school.

https://www.veteranscommunityproject.org/

https://www.larcheks.org/

Home
Trash + Recycling

http://www.Acceleratedschoolsop.org

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Expanding my Spiritual Care Volunteer Work

8 Apr

Over the last six months, I realized that I needed to expand the work I do as a spiritual care volunteer (SCV) for Jewish Family Services. For the past four years, I have been working with the senior population at one elder care facility. To be honest, it is one of the most rewarding volunteer positions I have ever held. I believe I am really helping people and making life a bit more pleasant. It gladdens my heart.

But six months ago, we had a family event that changed me. My daughter lost a pregnancy at five months as their much wanted fetus was not viable. Making a choice to end a pregnancy is not an easy decision. It hurts the heart. I traveled to be with my daughter and son in law. I realize during the time that I was with them, that my spiritual care training was helpful as we walked and talked and dealt with this unhappy time.

When I returned home, I saw that the Bikur Cholim, an organization that provided programming for chaplains and SCV, was offering a three-week summit entitled, “Perinatal Loss Summit” with a group called “I Was Supposed to Have A Baby.”  I thought that would help us as we dealt with our loss, so I signed up.

The Mission of “I Was Supposed to Have A Baby” is “is to utilize social platforms (Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Facebook, etc.) to support all Jewish individuals and families struggling to have a child by providing a warm and nurturing space for those going through infertility, pregnancy loss, infant loss, surrogacy and adoption, and by making connections to resources in the Jewish community at large.”

I found this three-part programming informative, helpful, and thought provoking as I learned about Jewish rituals, or rather lack of, for women who suffered pregnancy loss, infertility and death of an infant. I was excited to learn that women were developing their own rituals. I read the book that was discussed, “Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope,” by Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin. Its subtitle is “A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.” It provides ideas for both rituals and prayers. I found it extremely helpful.

The third meeting impacted my SCV/NCJW volunteer mind. It included representatives of a National Council of Jewish Women section in New York who provided individual peer support and group support for women going experiencing pregnancy issue: infertility and loss. They would pair a woman who had a similar problem 20 or more years ago with a women going through it now for peer counseling.

As someone who also suffered through infertility, ending with both biological and adopted children, and this more recent family loss, I thought this might be something I could do. I spoke to the JFS Rabbi who is my supervisor for SCV to see this was possible. He said that spiritual care volunteers could help wherever they were needed.

I also spoke to the woman who runs a program in our area called Priya, which is focused on helping couples who are having infertility, trying to adopt, and other birth related issues. I asked if they had a peer support program or anything like that. She said they had tried, but people felt uncomfortable talking to others and revealing their feelings afraid that the information would get into the public. But as I am HIPPA compliant as a spiritual care volunteer that is not an issue. I do not talk about who and what I learn.

They both agreed that this is something that might be useful in our community. With that encouragement. I am continuing on my quest to help. Recently Jewish Family Services paid for me to attend a one-day workshop on “The Mental Health of Women in the Reproductive Years.” Of the 30 participants, I was the only one not in the medical field…most were social workers who worked with or planned to work with pregnant women dealing with postpartum depression, as well as pregnancy loss. Centimano Counseling, which is focused on Perinatal Mental Health, held the workshop. I learned more than I expected and was glad I had the opportunity to attend.

My belief is that if I even help one person or one couple, then it is more than worth all these extra trainings. I remember the black hole of despair I had when I could not get pregnant and all around me my family and friends were having babies. I understand how difficult it is to speak to someone who has no idea what heartache was happening within me. I knew how it was easier to speak to someone who was going through the same problems as me than even my own mother, who had no idea what infertility was like.

So I am hoping that as a compassionate, HIIPA compliant, friendly sounding board, I can help those in need get a little bit of hope and joy back in their lives.

https://iwassupposedtohaveababy.org/

https://www.centimano.com/

https://zicharonot.com/2019/01/16/do-more-of-what-makes-you-feel-happy-or-why-i-want-to-be-a-spiritual-care-volunteer/

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