“How a mother suffers!” My mother would moan every so often when one of us got sick, or misbehaved, or had an accident. Sometimes she would say it in jest when we were all teasing her.
How a mother suffers. These are words that take on so many more nuances when your child lives in a war zone. Or when your child is called up to serve in the military. Or when your child is hurting. My mother-in-law would say, “You are only as happy as your most unhappy child.” That is also true.
In the past two years I have gone from the highs of motherhood to the lows. And as a mother I am suffering a bit. I say a bit because I know there are parents who are suffering way more than I am. There are mothers whose children are forced to fight for their country against terrorists. There are mothers of children who are taken hostage and have not seen them for six months. There are mothers of children in Gaza who have perished as Israel fights for its existence and Hamas refuses all negotiations, using the people of Gaza and the hostages as shields. Forcing many more mothers to suffer.
My suffering is minor compared to theirs. But it still resonates in my heart. When I get off an airplane and turn my phone on to a multitude of messages, including one from my daughter saying, “We are fine. We are in our safe room (bomb shelter).” When I see the news that Iran is bombarding Israel with 340 missiles, drones and bombs. When I feel that rise of panic and bile in my throat because I honestly do not know if she is safe.
Too many times in the last 12 years I have woken up to the same message. “We are fine, we are in our safe room.”
Hamas has been targeting Israel with bombs all these years. Every year, every month, 100s and 1000s of rockets. Because their aim is the total destruction of the state of Israel and the death of all Jews. All Jews. And when Hamas is not bombing from the south and west, then Hezbollah bombs from the north. And their rockets are move sophisticated.
Now I see college campuses with ignorant students calling out “We are Hamas. Free Palestine. All Zionists should die.” Without ever mentioning the fact that Hamas started this war. That Hamas raped, murdered and brutalized 1000s of people. That Hamas took hostages. That Hamas send over 20,000 bombs into Israel. That Hamas does not really care about their own people feeling that they should be martyrs to the cause. Hamas leaders have actually said this! Definitely not mothers.
This mother, who has a master’s degree in journalism, suffers when she sees that the media does not report equally on what Israel has suffered giving more coverage to Gaza. That the media uses information provided by Hamas to report on what is happening. That they believe the lies of Hamas, which we have seen over and over again. And when found in a lie, then puts the truth buried on back pages and not the front pages where they put the lies. When they report what Hamas says and not what Israel says. I find this type of media coverage despicable. And I wonder what happened in the world that the news is so biased. What happened to reporting equally on both sides and not putting personal opinion or bias in the reports. There are members of the news media who turn my stomach, I can’t imagine why they are allowed on the air. The BBC is one of these media outlets who actually fired some of their so-called reporters because of their biases.
I think of October 7 and the mothers that I know who really suffered. I think of my daughter’s friend whose cousin was murdered at the Nova festival. Three girls went together and only one survived. The one who survived only did so because she hid under the bodies of the DEAD. The last time Jewish people had to do that was in the Shoah.
How a mother suffers! She suffers through the suffering of her children. She suffers through the suffering of the mothers she knows. She suffers from the callousness of others who say thoughtless words.
This mother is angry that any mother has to suffer. But is also angry at the mothers who did not teach their college-age children about right and wrong. Did not teach them that terrorist groups are not the heroes, they are the villains. A sovereign country has a right to exist. And through all the suffering initiated by Hamas, we will survive.
A mother suffers. A mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child. Many times a mother suffers in silence, not wanting their children to know how much they hurt and worry about them. But this mother is strong, supportive and will survive and can speak out for what is right.
I say Israel has a right to exist. Hamas is a terrorist group whose goal is destruction. No mother should have to suffer because Hamas/Hezbullah/Iran started a war. Anti Semitism is alive on college campuses and in the news media. We all have to speak out. Enough is enough.
With the uptick in anti-Semitic events, with masked college students attacking Jewish students at colleges, with a Hamas murderous pogrom in Israel, I am still amazed when events from the Shoah are revealed in present day. I feel like I am in a time warp. Reading about the events at the UC Berkley campus and at the same time reading an email from a distant cousin telling me about a mass grave found in Poland that contains members of my extended family. Don’t college students learn anything about history?
My newest journey started with a email from a distant cousin concerning the Holocaust and my family. I get unusual requests now and then because I have been the family historian, trying to document all the family who were murdered during the Shoah. A task I realize is virtually impossible with all large number of people in my family who were murdered.
My distant cousin received a letter through JewishGen’s Family Finder. Her great aunt, who I keep in contact with, suggested she send the email to me.
Her email contained a series of emails between two people in Europe that forced my brain back in time to all that my maternal family had suffered so many decades ago during the horrors of the Shoah.
The first was from a retired baker in London who had been contacted by a researcher who wanted information about a family named Brenner who were murdered by the Nazis and whose bones were recently found in a mass grave and in accordance with state law were re-interred in a Catholic cemetery.
His mother was born Kornbluth and her father was born in Mielec, Poland, where many Kornbluth’s were living when the Nazis invaded. They believed the bones were those of a woman whose maiden name was Kornbluth; her married name was Brenner.
My family was from Mielec and its surrounding small towns. I have written about the destruction of the Jewish population in this city and its surrounding in other blogs. Brenner is one of the names in my family. Which made me think that I could have a connection with this grave. Although the last name Kornbluth is familiar, I wasn’t entirely sure of the connection to us. But I kept reading.
The baker then include emails from a representative of the Zapomniane Foundation that deals with locating and commemorating the graves of the Holocaust victims. He found the baker through JewishGen Family Finder.
“I represent the Zapomniane Foundation that deals with locating and commemorating the graves of the Holocaust victims (zapomniane.org or our profile on FB). I’m currently researching the case of the Brenner family murdered in 1942 and buried in a mass grave near Mielec. According to what I have learned so far among the victims probably were Lazar and Sara Brenner. Her maiden name was Kornbluth. Before the war they lived in a village called Hyki (today it is called Sarnow). They were killed together with their children and Sara’s brother. Would you happen to know this story and/or have any information about Sara Brenner nee Kornbluth?
Sincerely A N”
Then came more information from the Zapomniane Foundation: “ Here is the story of how I have learned about the Brenner family:
Two years ago I went to Czajkowa (a village near Mielec) to see the location of a place where the Brenner family (seven people) was killed and buried in August 1942.My guide was Robert P. who told me the story of his aunt Anna P. Anna’s real name was Ryfka Amsterdam she was Jewish, converted to catholicism before the war and married Andrzej P, Robert’s relative and became Anna P. The Brenner family were the relatives of Anna/Ryfka: perhaps Ryfka’s sister with husband and children and possibly Ryfka’s (and Sara’s?)brother. There are no names, only the last name of the father of the family i.e Brenner.”
Well now we are getting closer to my family, since Amsterdam is my grandfather’s last name. I know that any one named Amsterdam is definitely somehow related to me. This is the first time ever that I have heard about a family member who converted to Catholicism before the war. But to be honest, if someone left the family to marry outside of the faith, it was probably not discussed.
What the email says next really touched my soul! I could not image how this young man would have felt when he dug up the grave.
“The gravesite of the Brenner family was partially destroyed in 2003 by an excavator. Obviously the grave itself has never been marked, it was just a hole in the ground. As a result the bones from this grave were taken by the police and buried in an anonymous grave in Tuszów Narodowy catholic cemetery. Ironically the guy who worked with the excavator and dug out the bones was the grandson of Ryfka Amsterdam/Anna P. He was interrogated by the police in 2003. Anna/Ryfka had three children, her son born in 1950 is still living in Mielec.”
Next shock! A non-Jewish descendant of Rikva/Anna born just a few years before me, still lives in Mielec. They stayed there even after all her Jewish relatives were murdered. I cannot understand that reality. Could you comfortably walk the streets of a city, see the houses of your relatives, know that they were murdered and that others were living in their homes? Would you ever feel safe?
Not only that, it was Anna’s grandson who accidentally dug up the grave of people who might be his great aunt and uncle and their children, his cousins. I could almost see this as a movie. Could this truly be happening? But yes, it was and it is. So now he has not only dug up a grave 80 years after they were buried, but it is his family buried there. I really have no words.
The researcher continued:
“I found the information about Chaim Brenner via the Holocaust Survivor Program. Thus I knew the names of his parents and their fate that fits the story I know from the Polish archives:
Czajkowa Aug. 15, 1942 Captured and shot by German police, beginning w/ oldest family member; gendarme Franiszek Wojtas identified as likely shooter; family did not report to ghetto and remained in hiding for approx. 3 mos.; hid in forest and empty home of Kamuda; group consisted of two families; relatives of prewar converts to Christianity, Amsterdams, who survived war in same village
So my big questions are who was buried in the grave destroyed by the excavator 20 years ago and how can we commemorate them.”
The retired baker then tells my cousin that he contacted her because she has a Nathan Amsterdam in her family tree who told Yad VaShem about the death of a niece with the maiden name of Kornbluth. Could she help? Which is how I became part of this Nazi murder/grave mystery.
I knew I really could not help, but I felt like I had to say something I emailed both the baker and the Zapomniane Foundation. Here is a shortened version of the email I sent.
Your question about the grave and the Brenner/Amsterdam/Kornbluth murders, was sent to me as I have become an Amsterdam family researcher for a while now.
She knew I would be interested in this question.
Unfortunately, I do not know who was buried in the unmarked grave. Not much help I know. But I can tell you that there are many named Nathan Amsterdam in our family. My cousin’s great grandfather and my grandfather were both were named Nathan Amsterdam and they were cousins who were born in Austria/Poland in the Mielec area.
The family in Meilec and the surrounding area had four main family names: Amsterdam, Feuer, Brenner and Hollander. The family is Cohanim. Hence the names Feuer/ FIre and Brenner/ Burner. The other names came because the family did go from Spain to Portugal to Amsterdam and then a group moved to Austria/Poland. There was much intermarriage between people with these four surnames.
Almost the entire family who remained in Europe died during the Shoah. Mielec was one of the first areas that the Nazis made judenfrei. Only a few cousins survived. They are all gone now. One moved to the USA, two went to England and two moved to Israel.
Here is the info on the family that survived and moved to England. Perhaps you might find a descendant. I met them in the early 1960s when they came to the USA to visit the family here.
Zacheriah and Elka had seven children. Only three survived the Shoah. Gimple Feuer married and moved to England. They had four children. (I then named the four children who they might be able to reach. I am not publishing their names here as they might still be alive.)
Lazar Feuer also lived in England after the war, I never met him. He had three children: (I named these three as well.)
I am sorry I cannot tell you or the researcher there who exactly is buried in that grave. But I can tell you that several hundred members of the family were murdered in the Shoah in many different places and methods. But as the names were Brenner and Amsterdam, I can tell you that they are my distant relatives and that the men were probably Cohanim.”
Because I think finding a way to commemoriate these people is important, I am posting this on Tracing the Tribe Facebook page to see if anyone else has a connection that could help.
I am so frustrated with Meta’s policies concerning anti-Semitism and attacks on Jews, Israel, Zionism, Judaism, etc. I realize that we are just 16 million people in the world. Truly a minority. Truly without much of a voice on social media when you consider the total population of the world.
So I was extremely aggravated when I read that Senator Elizabeth Warren wrote a letter to Meta saying that the rights of Palestinians to voice their concerns have been suppressed:
“Reports of Meta’s suppression of Palestinian voices raise serious questions about Meta’s content moderation practices and anti-discrimination protections,” Senator Warren continued. “Social media users deserve to know when and why their accounts and posts are restricted, particularly on the largest platforms where vital information-sharing occurs. Users also deserve protection against discrimination based on their national origin, religion, and other protected characteristics.” (Warren.senate.gov.)
Personally, I do not want anyone’s rights to be abused. But what disgusts me about her letter is that it was totally one sided. Nowhere in her letter, that I have been able to see, does she mention the horrible anti-Semetic and anti-Israel, actually just outright Jew Hatred attacks on social media. Nowhere does she acknowledge that many of these attacks are in Arabic or come from Palestinian areas.
So once again we have a double standard. I agree with her sentiment that users of social medial must be protected. But that means all users, including all the Jewish users. Elizabeth Warren had the opportunity to demand that social media must be better for both groups. Instead she chose to focus only on one side and totally ignore the hate that Jewish users are facing.
It is as if she said, ‘Hey, let’s protect the rights of the 1.7 billion and all others in Moslems and Palestinians. But let us not protect the rights of the 16 million Jews and Israelis. Let us not mention what is happening to them on social media, which is in fact why meta changed the algorithms, to help filter out some of the hate and violence against Jews and Israelis that is all over social media.
I am not saying this from a very personal level. I have seen the hatred against Jews everywhere.
For the past three months I have been overwhelmed at times by the amount of pure hatred and threats and lies and disgusting comments about Jews or Israelis that are on Facebook. As a volunteer for CyberWell, I have reported many comments and cartoons on Meta social media platforms attacking Jewish people and Israelis. My reporting feels as if it goes nowhere. And now Senator Warren wants Meta to ease up so more violence can be posted on social media.
Of the many reports I have sent in and then re-reported, only two have been officially taken down. I have had multiple notifications that I can take my complaints to the oversight review board. I have submitted five such comments to the review board.
And I am not talking about little issues. I am talking about veiled violence: “Imagine a world without Zionism,” A reference to Oct 7, as “The Best Day Ever”; False information saying the IDF attacked the Nova concert; “Hamas was created and funding by Israel”; “Hitler was right.” And these are the nicer ones that I reported. I will admit that two were so bad that Meta immediately took them down and told me that if I ever saw anything by these two people again, I should report them immediately.
No group deserved to be annihilated. “Free Palestine from the River to the Sea,” IS a call for the destruction of all Jews in Israel. Calling for the destruction of Israel is a threat. Saying things like. “All J3w$ should die.” Is not a joke. Using letters and numbers and dollar signs should be recognized. Lies from Hamas and Hezbollah and Bots under the control of these terrorist groups should be recognized and kicked off Facebook.
These inactions are hurting people. College students are being terrorized on campus. Terrorist and hate groups are using social media to emotionally and psychologically hurt people. It is time that Meta stops this behavior. I should not be reading an article from the New York Times and see hundreds of comments that are filled with hate and many times filled with lies. Think of it, I have made many reports, and only two were removed!
So why didn’t Senator Warren make mention of any of these issues. Why didn’t she write that she understands that much of the hatred on social media is coming from Bots and comments from the Middle East and Palestinian areas. I know that Terrorist groups have people purposely putting up hate. But the rights of people who are being attacked also have to be protected.
I believe that those who make constructive criticism without calling for the annihilation of Jews and Israel should be allowed. I can handle that. I also do not agree with everything Israeli government has done.
Meta can tell when song that is under copyright is used and delete it. Meta should be able to recognize when lies and misinformation and disgusting cartoons are posted. It must do better, be part of the solution, and stop any hatred from spreading.
At the same time it has to respect the rights of all people to have the right to express their opinion. As long as their opinion does not include destruction of Israel and all of the Jews..
I wish Senator Warren has said emphasized that as well. Here is Senator Warren’s entire letter. As you can read, not once does she mention that Israel has been attacked both physically and on social media. Not once, even when she writes about the restriction on live streaming, does she mention the horrendous live streaming during the attack on October 7 by the Hamas.: https://www.warren.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/Meta%20Letter.pdf
Once again, I have to say there is a major double standard here. And Senator Warren’s letter is evidence of what the Jewish community in the United States is facing.
I think I have been reading too many murder mysteries about people being run off a winding narrow road high in the mountains of Colorado or Tennessee or Kentucky or California. In these mysteries the offending car is always black and big. Usually, it is a black pickup truck or some gigantic SUV.
Sometimes it is the victim being killed at the start of the novel. Then later in the novel that same black car starts following the detective or other person who is starting to connect the dots and soon will identify the murderer. The same car attempts to force them off the road as well. But this time, the person is prepared and although the car might be pushed off the road, the hero/heroine survives.
The evil seems to be the car and not the driver inside, even though I know that the car has no soul. I have become highly suspicious of large black pickup trucks and SUVs, especially Ford F-150s, Dodge RAMs and Cadillac Escalades. Nothing against any of these car companies. But to be honest these trucks are big and scary, making me a bit paranoid when I see them.
Lately I have been noticing big black pickup trucks and SUVs everywhere. At the grocery store, in Costco parking lot, roaming the streets. In my area, there are many, many black Ford 150 Pickup trucks. I am not imagining it. There is a Ford plant in the Kansas City area that manufactures regular F-150s, as well as a larger commercial size F 150. So, I do not think it is my imagination that these cars are everywhere around town. Alongside them, the RAMs and Escalades also populate our streets.
My problem deals with my new obsessive behavior when I see one. With my heightened feelings of angst with the war waging in Israel and the unprecedented rise in antisemitism, I get a feeling of dread whenever I see one of these ultra-gigantic trucks entering the driveway of my synagogue or the Jewish Community Center, or any of the other Jewish community buildings.
I think I transferred my fear of those who hate and commit acts of terror onto these black vehicles!
In my mind I hear the police officer who came to teach us about safety saying “If you see something, say something.” Is seeing a large, black truck a reasonable reason to call the police or even to say anything? Last week one entered the synagogue parking lot as I left. No, I did not call the police, but I did have a little twitch in my heart.
There are probably thousands of these vehicles in the metro area. Heck, I even know people who own these mammoth. Honestly, I do realize this is a ridiculous fear … I hope.
I am trying, when I see one, to lower my angst level. I say to myself.: “Hey this is not a murder mystery or a thriller. Lots of people own these. Calm down.”
No one is going to chase me down a mountain here! Because we do not have winding, narrow mountainous roads in the Kansas City metro. I actually can only think of one such road along the river bluffs on the Missouri side, Cliff Drive. It is closed to car traffic. So I think I am safe.
What it really indicates to me is that the intense social media attacks on Jewish and Israeli people, Jew hatred apparent and emerging, as well as the media reports of these happenings, is causing me, among the many of the people I know, to have a bit more angst and fears, which leads me to look at things that use to be routine differently. I am constantly trying to determine if something is or is not a truly a threat. Hence the obsession with big black trucks.
Ten years ago a crazy hater drove to the Jewish community center and the Jewish elder care facility and shot and killed three people. The irony is that in his effort to kill Jewish people, not one of the three people he murdered was Jewish. They were all Christian. It was a tragedy that those who are Jewish and live in KC area will never forget. So my fear is not without reason. I will admit though, he was not driving a black truck.
But you know, years ago, after the Oklahoma City bombing, I was afraid of yellow Ryder trucks. I do not think I am the only one. There are no longer any yellow Ryder trucks. The company was sold, and the name and color were changed. In my mind, the bombing created the need for the change.
I do not think we will rid the world of black trucks. People like them. Murder mystery and spy novelists like them. I am probably the only person who views them askance. But I do need to rid myself of the fear of big black trucks. It is not the car who does the evil, it is the person inside the truck.
What I need to do is to help to rid the world of hatred. That is the more important goal. We should not have to have the police guarding the buildings of the Jewish communities throughout the world. We should not have to deal with swatting attacks on synagogues during Shabbat. We should not have to see people on the streets chanting for the elimination of the Jews on our city streets. We should not have the UN stay silent against the acts of Hamas and the rape of both women and men.
I have hope. If Kayne West, now known as Ye, can apologize in Hebrew on Instagram, maybe the tide is turning. Perhaps in a few months I will be able to once again ignore large black vehicles driving alongside me. Maybe my angst will dissipate. That would be a blessing.
During Covid, I tried to do as many activities that I could from the confines of my home. I took online classes, I attended family life events, I even toured museums and their special exhibits. One of the best ones I toured was the Ruth Bader Ginsburg exhibit at the Illinois Holocaust Museum located in Skokie, Illinois. So when I knew my husband and I were going to Evanston, Illinois, for a wedding, I put visiting this museum in person at the top of my list. It did not disappoint.
The museum opened in 2009. It was a work in process for 40 years after the Skokie Jewish community was the object of a neo-Nazi group who decided to march through Skokie, a suburb of Chicago that is home to many Jewish residents. The Jewish community started with a small space. But their aim was to fight against anti-Semitism and hatred through education. It looks like they are succeeding in their mission.
The Illinois Holocaust Museum is worth the visit. It was designed by architect Stanley Tigerman. The building is made is to bring the visitor through the darkness of the Shoah and then back out to the light. As we went through the exhibit we could see this change. The entrance to the exhibit is dark and moody with narrow halls lined with photos, videos and memorabilia. But by the end, when we learned about the resistance and the survivors, the light increased.
While we were there on a Friday morning, there were four different school groups also going through the museum with docents. Every so often the group would fill the space available, so we would stop to hear the discussion. In this time of great turmoil and rise of Jew Hatred, seeing these students and their teachers learning about and basically experiencing what happened was important.
There are many short films/videos and photographs throughout the museum that were taken by the Nazis during their killing spree as well as films taken after the war by survivors and rescuers.
The films are difficult to watch. I saw several students holding their hands and sweaters over their faces as they tried to block the view. I did not want to see it either, even though I have seen these images or ones like them many times.
But this time, I imagined the children on October 7 trying to block the view as they saw the terrorist of Hamas reenacting the hatred of the Nazis and they saw their loved ones murdered and waited for their own deaths. It created harrowing moments for me. I envisioned being held hostage by Hamas underground as if in a camp barracks waiting without food and little hope.
The Holocaust exhibit itself Is well thought out and takes you through all the stages of the Shoah. The moment I saw the Krystal Nacht exhibit, which has a clear floor you walk over with shards of glass underneath, in front is the edifice of a synagogue with broken windows, I knew exactly what you will see next. You can walk into a real cattle car from 1930s Europe. It is an eerie feeling to be standing in that darkened wooden container and think about what it was like for those who were stuffed in and perished. This is not a museum for someone who wants to avoid the past. It puts it right into your vision.
After you weave your way through the seemingly endless horrors of the Shoah, you see a small exhibit about what happened when the Nazis came to Skokie. It puts into ‘context’ what is happening now throughout the USA on college campuses and in some cities. And I will say that calling for the annihilation and extermination of any people is always wrong. No matter what a college president says.
This is emphasized with the movie at the end that discusses both the genocide of the Jews and the continued times others have been targeted like the Tutsi people in Rwanda. We sat with two student groups as we watched the film. It was not easy to watch as people testified about what happened to them during this more recent horror. Many of the students lowered their heads. I think I spent as much time watching the students as I did watching the film.
After we finished the exhibit, we went to the Hologram theater where we spoke with the Hologram of Pinchas Gutter. This is an excellent way to learn about the Shoah. Those brave survivors who spent a week being interviewed and videoed while they told their story have created a way to keep the memory alive.
The museum is not all gloom and depression. There is the good of those who survived. But also when we were there the special exhibit was about delis, “I’ll Have What She’s Having” The Jewish Deli. It was a great way to wash away some of the somber emotions we were having after going through the Shoah.
As a teenager and college student, I worked in a Jewish deli. So for me this was especially joyful as I remember my time behind the counter making sandwiches, cutting lox, deboning white fish and making catering trays. I would almost smell the corned beef, feel the texture of sable fish as I prepared some for a customer, and felt the smooth taste of a potato knish in my mouth.
It was good to end the visit on an upbeat note. But throughout it all I remembered that this museum was founded in response to Jew Hatred. Once again, we are experiencing a major rise Jew Hatred throughout the United States and the rest of the world. There are many who support us. However, when I look at college campuses, I know the work to end anti-semitism and Jew Hatred is far from done. What will be our response globally? In Skokie a museum was created. I am not sure it is enough.
Earlier this month, I attended a medical meeting with my husband in California. On Friday night, we attended a reception organized by Allergists For Israel, a non-profit founded in 1984 to promote ties between allergists/immunologists in the USA and Israel. This is a group event that we try to attend each year.
With the active war raging between Israel and Hamas, the reception to come together and welcome Shabbat with our Jewish and non-Jewish friends was more emotional than usual. Many of us had family members who live in Israel. Additionally, we had three guests at our meeting, the director of Major Gifts/Southwest, for Magen David Adom, and most importantly two Magen David Adom staff who had experienced the horror of October 7.
They were in the United States and Canada for one week. We were fortunate to meet them. Before their presentation, I spoke to them for a short time one on one, which helped my heart as I worry about my daughter and her husband in Israel. But then they gave their presentation, and my heart was no longer soothed.
Remember, it was a Shabbat and a hag, a holiday, when the terror began. These two people were in the mode of celebration and relaxation before being called in to help.
The woman is a paid employee, a dispatcher for Magen David Adom. She spent 13 hours staffing the phones at the dispatch center in Jerusalem during the crisis. Her tales of the phone conversations she had with people, who she could not promise she could help, were heart breaking. Her inability to get help to where it was needed most, was devastating. Many of those she spoke to were murdered by the terrorists.
The man who spoke to us is a volunteer ambulance driver. He entered an armored ambulance and started what would become a 24-hour day driving back and forth to the south to try to save the injured. Along the way he saw destroyed cars and ambulances, homes burning and the bodies of those who could no longer be saved. He admitted that he realized this was not a safe place to be. But he had an important focus, and in this day of terror, he was able to save about 30 lives.
For all of us listening, both Jewish and not Jewish, both doctors and spouses, the emotional of it was almost too much. I know that there were tears flowing from my eyes as he discussed a young Arab boy who watched his father be murdered as he, himself, was shot. His uncle flagged down the ambulance, a bit afraid for himself, as he knew what was happening. The ambulance, driven by the man speaking to use stopped. He told us he felt so badly for the boy. He could not take the uncle to be with the boy; he had to drive and could not be with the boy. He could just stabilize him and get him to a hospital as soon as possible. Amazingly the boy survived.
I think that is an important point to understand. Hamas did not care who they shot and killed and mutilated and terrorized. There were people from many countries who were impacted. There were people of five faiths who were brutalized or killed. The terrorists desire to destroy was unleased and focused on killing everyone in sight and creating chaos and terror wherever they went. While the volunteers from Magen David Adom saved all they could who were injured.
Besides the many who were murdered, even more were injured, some critically. They need medical care and blood. Magen David Adom is helping. I have made my donation to Magen David Adom through our Donor Advised Fund. You can also donate through the American Friends of Magen David Adom. (See Link below.)
In this time of Thanksgiving, we need to be thankful for the Magen David Adom first responders who put their lives at risk to save others. Let us thank them by supporting their important work.
This is my diary over the last five weeks of the Israel – Hamas War. There are many more, but I think these do the best to explain my feelings. I already wrote a blog about thanking the helpers. You can see links to this and another blog below.
October 7. 7:30 am
Just spoke to my daughter. They spent hours in their safe room. They are ok. But stressed and distressed. Many Israelis have been killed, hundreds injured, and dozens taken captive. Hamas terrorists surprise attack on the southern areas and bombing of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.
Hamas and Hezbollah are evil attacking civilians, women, children, Jews and Bedouin. They really don’t care who they kill. This was not an attack on a military area. This was attack on innocents at parties, at home at play.
October 12:
United just cancelled our flight to Israel. Not unexpected. But disappointing for several reasons. First, we do not get to see my daughter and son in law and all the other family and friends we planned to visit. Second because United is even afraid to fly a week from now which increases my anxiety by many multiplication of numeric factors.
In the spirit of the recent high holidays, I say: I am angry, I am anxious, I am not sleeping, I am saddened, I am frustrated, I am frightened. I keep thinking of Yom Kippur and how it is inscribed on who will die and how. And I have a scream that is sitting at the bottom of my throat waiting to come out.
October 18:
At this very moment, 8:39 am, I should be landing in Israel at 4:39 pm. Instead I am home in Kansas.
There is nothing else to say except love and prayers for all my family and friends in Israel who I was hoping to visit.
Family update. They are fine. There has only been one rocket a day for a while. My daughter is extremely busy with her work at CyberWell trying to stem the horrible flow of anti-Israel, anti-Semitic and violence toward Jews content off social media. They had a training for volunteers to help identify some of this. If you would be interested in watching the 50-minute webinar and do something productive. Let Lara or me know. I personally have reported posts to the social media platforms and also to CyberWell. This makes a big difference. If everyone one reported one or two a day we can make a change!!!
October 20
I am thankful that he is president during this difficult time. His support for Israel, his fight against baseless hatred is just what we needed. When I visit my elders, many of whom remember the late 1930s and 1940s and are terrified, I can honestly say this is not the same. The president of the USA and many others in government are supporting us.
October 21
My comment today: Do you think the bombing from Gaza has stopped because all you hear in the news is that Israel is attacking Gaza. Have you heard that rockets are still speeding to Tel Aviv, Yafo, Holon, and Rishon LeZion as well as to the south. Many rockets every day. Today my daughter’s alert told of of the incoming all around her community. It is not over. Hamas is still attacking Israel. There is a reason why Hamas has to be eradicated from the world.
Do I feel badly that children are being hurt. Of course. But I am tired of hearing now that Gaza is without water or electricity. Israel has said, return the hostages and we will turn it back on. Give them back.
I am tired of people saying Israel should step down. You are not under the threat of a bomb landing on your home, you are not attending funerals for people you know or family members, you are not sending you son, daughter, spouse, brother, sister off to battle.
The news media is not only focus on what Israel might do. Giving the impression that in Israel it is peaceful. NO it is NOT. Not on the truth about what is happening. Those who live around Gaza have been evacuated. Those who live in the north are on voluntary evacuation.
Stand up for Israel and the impact of this crisis on the citizens. If you want to be angry, be angry at Hamas for what they did murdering 1400 innocent people in their homes; for knowing that what they would do would impact the innocent people of Gaza; for preparing and protecting themselves from the bombing but not the civilians of Gaza. Be angry at the other Moslem countries surrounding the area that want to escalate the war, be angry at Egypt and Jordan and other countries that refuse to help ease the crisis in Gaza.
This war is not what Israel wanted. This is a war that Hamas started and Hamas wanted. Israel is a tiny country surrounded by large land masses inhabited by Moslems. They have all they and they could want. But what many do want is the total annihilating of Israel.
All over the world people are attacking Jewish people who have nothing to do with Israel. So the people who Chant “Not in my Name” are playing into the work of Hamas and so are also guilty for any more attacks on Jews. It is opening a door for more killing and it is wrong. What they should be saying is return the hostages and stop attacking Israel.
October 23
The false news reports about the hospital bombing which was a failed rocket by Hamas leads to violence against Jews world wide. It is amazing, Hamas attacks Israel and kills 1400 people and wounds over 3000. Sends over 6400 rockets and bombs into Israel and in the U.S. and throughout the world people attack Jews. Attack the terrorists who started this. I am horrified by the hatred.
November 3
I pray each day for the conflict in Israel/Gaza to end. For the Hamas to release the prisoners/hostages and to surrender and face the consequences of their crimes. Hamas has continued to threatened Jews and Israel throughout this month and has continued to send rockets into Israel. They have built tunnels under neighborhoods, hospitals and schools. They have threatened and attacked Israeli communities for decades!
I wish there was an easier way to stop the terrorists then this bombing and siege of Gaza City. But the Hamas has stockpiled rockets and weapons, as well as food, water, oil and other supplies. They prepared for this assault on Israel and the return assault on them without caring about any civilians.
During the attack on Israel, Hamas terrorists cut the supply lines that bring water and electricity from Israel to Gaza. Life means nothing to them until they destroy all Jewish life in Israel.
It is time for the terror of Hamas and Hezbollah to end. For all to face the fact that Israel exists and will not disappear. So that all people in the region can live in peace and coexist, so that children will not suffer and innocent people die on either side.
But the increased actions of Jew Hatred that is now growing throughout the world, actually shows the double standard with which Israel and the Jewish communities face. Israel did not start this. On a holiday weekend, when people were sleeping in their beds, Hamas attacked, murdered, mutilated, took captive and wounded almost 6000 people. Over 1400 dead, 240 captive, over 4000 wounded. those killed were mostly Jewish, but many were Moslem and Beduion. Now in the USA there a large numbers that did not condemn Hamas. That is shocking!
No one wants war. Not in Ukraine; Not in Syria; Not in Sudan; Not in Israel; Not in Gaza. Every life has value: Jew, Christian, Moslem, Bahai, Druze, Shinto, Buddist, Hindu, all religions, ethnicities and races.
Shalom, Saalam, Paz, Paix, Friedan, Pace, Peace!
November 4
This is the message I sent to the International Red Cross:
So far only 4 hostages taken by Hamas have been released. One of the main roles of the Red Cross is to help free hostages throughout the world. I have supported the Red Cross for many years. But the unequal and biased work going on now where the hostages, infants, children, women, men, elderly, are ignored because most of them are Jewish is an affront to all what the red cross is supposed to stand for. SHAME ON YOU! Tell Hamas to release the hostages.
We went to a Havdalah service at Leawood City Hall. After the service we each held the photo of a hostage and then stood in silence for 241 seconds in honor of those held hostage by Hamas.
November 13
A relative’s friend asked me if I at all thought Israel was wrong. Here is my response and it is what I believe.
Define wrong. Is it wrong for Hamas to have come into Israel and murder innocents children, women, men, elderly in their homes on a holiday weekend? Is it wrong for Hamas to build their tunnels and shoot rockets off from hospitals and schools using the children and the sick as shields against others? IS it wrong for Hamas to take the funding and cement and fuel sent into Gaza for the people to continue to create and buy weapons and tunnels to attack Israel? Is it wrong for Hamas to keep the people of Gaza captive for years, because you should know that Israel left the Gaze over 15 years ago and withdrew all their people and turn everything over to the Palestinians who voted to put Hamas in power? Is is wrong that Egypt also has a border with Gaza, but they usually keep their border closed and supply little to no help to the people there? Is it wrong that the surrounding Arab countries have kept the people who fled Israel in refugee camps and refused to intergrate them into society, while forcing out an equal number of Jewish citizens who were integrated into Israel, the USA and other countries? Just asking you how you define wrong.
Israel told people to evacuate, Hamas would not let them. ISrael waited over a week to attack so that people could leave. Israel gave fuel. For weeks we have heard that the hospitals would run out of fuel, they did not. Israel repeatedly told the hospital to evacuate. They did not. They have caved to Hamas demands.
You believe everything Hamas says, even though throughout the world they know they are terrorist. The 27 EU countries have condemned Hamas and supported Israel.
So define who is wrong here. To me it is Hamas. ISreal had no intention of going to war on Hamas till Hamas killed and mutilated over 1200 people. And took 240 hostages. What happened after October 7 is on the hands of Hamas.
This would end if Hamas released the hostages and surrender. Why don’t you call for that instead of condemning Israel?
People keep asking me how I am doing. Nauseous anxiety mixed with fear of the unknown would be the best description. Each morning when I awaken, I am afraid to turn on the news or even look at my phone.
On Saturday morning October 7, I was awoken by a text message that said, “We are fine.” Why are you telling me you and your husband are fine? Was the thought that went through my mind. I quickly googled Israel. And I saw the horror that was unfolding. I texted back, “Can we speak.” Because who knew if we could. Were they in their safe room/bomb shelter? Were rockets falling? What was happening?
We did speak. My daughter told me of the unspeakable horrors that were occurring and that in all honestly, no one really knew the full extent of the horror till much later. 1400 murdered, brutalized, their corpses mutilated. Infants and children brutally murdered. And some had their heads or hands cut off! What type of human being does this? 260 young adults slaughtered at a music concert where they were celebrating the holiday and hoping for peace. They were chased and murdered. And then there are the hostages to be used as human shields, many of them children, who are still being held captive.
Over 7,000 rockets have been launched into Israel. Besides the dead, over 4600 people injured. Some are still dying from their wounds. And perhaps all the bodies have not yet been recovered.
Obviously, the Israeli government, intelligence and military failed the people of Israel.
How could my anxiety level not be extremely high? I did not sleep for a week. Our long-planned trip to Israel that was to begin on October 18 was cancelled. I am at times overwhelmed by my angst. I have no control of this situation. I cannot fix it. I am so far away. The photos and videos are horrible. And the haters are hating.
I think my angst is heighted by my family history. My grandfather came to America in 1920. His family stayed behind. They all perished. Hundreds of people murdered. Of the ones who were in Europe only four cousins survived from an extended family of about 300 that I have found. ONLY FOUR! I have been the family genealogist searching for the answers: Death in the Lodz Ghetto; Death in Belzec; Death in Auschwitz; Death by being burned alive in a synagogue or mikveh. Death by gun shot to the head. Death by starvation. Death by disease. Death by Nazis and other anti-Semites. My grandfather is from the first area that the Nazis made Judenrein, cleansed of Jews.
As I see what happened in Israel I can see the comparisons. And I understand the terror and fear and anger that people are feeling.
But the worst is also seeing those in our country and others saying that what Hamas did was okay. The antisemitism is… well I honestly cannot think of a word to describe it. But that people can rationalize and say what Hamas did was okay, makes me ill. The New York Times and other media outlets have reached their lowest point and shown their true bias when they would publish a Hamas release about a hospital bombing before checking facts and blaming Israel, causing more hate and actual violence to Jews outside of Israel.. When students at universities and schools chant the words of terror that means eradicating all Jews from Israel, yelling as they march, “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free.” I hope they do not realize that they are calling for the death of all Jews in Israel. But perhaps they are because others chant that Hitler should have finished the job. Hamas, Hezobllah, Iran, want all of Israel to be Judenrein.
Israel said, “Give us back our hostages and we will turn the water and electricity back on.” But Hamas refuses. In the meantime, Israel allows convoyrs with humanitarian aid to pass through, yet so far only 4 hostages have been returned. They are keeping the children. Everyone says the same thing, they will use them as human shields. Can you imagine? A soldier either has to shot through a child or die. Horrifying. In my mind these hostages, many of them, are already dead. And I am not sure if I hope I am wrong. Like that father who found out his 8-year old daughter, Emily, was dead. He was relieved, better dead than a prisoner of Hamas.
Israel said “Move South, we are going to bomb Gaza City.” Those that did not move are now suffering. But is this the fault of Israel? I think not. It is the fault of Hamas who attacked Israel, who built tunnels for their terrorists and bombs to kill, but nothing for the civilians. It is the fault of Hamas who ordered civilians not to leave despite the warnings and then blocked the roads so tht even those who wanted to get out could not. I think 600,000 left. But the ones who are stayed behind are suffering. And I am heartbroken for the children of Gaza, who are also victims of Hamas.
People are angry that Israel cut off the electricity and water. But wait, Israel has been providing electricity and water for decades. And cement, which we know that the Hamas terrorist use to build tunnels was provided by Israel so that they could build homes. We know they build terror tunnels instead. Why should Israel give them anything if their only aim is to destroy Israel and kill all the Jews?
But do the videos and photos of children being pulled out by rubble bother me. YES. I hate that these children are suffering. But my question is this: Did the terrorists in Gaza and the West Bank, and Hezbollah feel bad when they saw the photos of the murdered Jewish/Israeli children? NO they celebrated and gave out candy.
I learned when I lived in Israel after the Yom Kippur War, that if you give an inch the terrorists think you are weak. Right now Israel cannot be weak, or it might be destroyed. And I think that is what sane people are not realizing. Because the terrorists are not sane. They are corrupt with evil. Anyone who can give out candy when others are suffering is evil to me.
How am I feeling? I am disheartened, somewhat despondent, but at the same time I feel disgusted about how the United Nations and progressives are supporting terrorists. There are only 16 million Jewish people throughout the entire population. Why cannot we just be left alone? Just live and let live.
However, I am also defiant. We will survive this. It might take decades to get over the trauma. But we have learned over time how to keep moving forward. We survived the evil of the Holocaust; the wicked plans of Haman; the violence of the Crusaders; the torture and deaths of the Inquisition. I believe we will outlast the evil act of Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, and others who try to eradicate the Jewish People. Am Israel Chai.
I am a firm believer in the words of wisdom from Mr. Fred Rogers. One of his gems was in times of stress or danger, “look for the helpers.” I have to say that in the last four days, the helpers have been finding me. I did not realize how many helpers there are surrounding me.
Since Saturday, October 7, when the Hamas terrorists attacked Israel and murdered almost 1000 people who were just going about their days and celebrating the Jewish holiday of Shemini Atzeret, I have felt the support of my community.
I have received over 100 text messages, emails, phone calls, and Facebook messages from people, family and friends, living all over the country and Israel. I have heard from friends I have not heard from in several years who want to check in on me. Why me? Because my daughter and her husband live in Israel. And everyone wants to know if they are safe.
My neighbors have called and left me messages. A family member who was traveling overseas, emailed me upon landing in Hungary when she heard about the attacks. My college roommate and high school friends are contacting me. My community in Kansas have reached out. And it is not just me. My husband has received messages and support from his work colleagues and friends.
Our world is so small now. What happens in one community, one country can impact every country. The violence of terrorist has been a bane to many countries: New York, Washington DC and Pennsylvania, USA, Mumbai, India, Paris, France; Buenes Aires, Argentina; and more. The need for security from terrorists/shooters is overwhelming simple things like entering a building, going to school, going to pray.
In most cases the active shooter or the terrorist is easily seen as the one doing evil. It is somewhat disheartening to see on social media and in the news that there are people who are praising the barbaric slaughter of children, women, men, families in their homes, elderly. Many of whom were just at home enjoying a holiday. But not only were they killed but their corpses were mutilated. And many were taken hostage and brutalized and humiliated and hurt. Hamas has shown its true face of evil.
To those who feel that Israel is at fault for this attack, I have to say how would you react if a group of terrorists came over from Mexico and killed 1000 people in El Paso, Texas, and said the USA deserved it because they are treating the South American refugees badly. Would you say the USA deserved once again to be the victim of terrorism? I think not. The citizens of the USA would want revenge, just as we did after 911. It is a war crime to actually target children and non military personal.
According to the United Nations: “The right of civilians not to be arbitrarily deprived of life and the prohibitions against killing or maiming civilians are principles firmly enshrined in international humanitarian law, international human rights law and international jurisprudence. The prohibition of violence to civilians, including children, in particular murder, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture is a principle of customary international law, with universal applicability in all situations of armed conflict.” (See website below.)
I would think that taking children and infants hostage; murdering over 260 teenagers at a party, and murdering families in their homes would be considered a crime against humanity, targeting women, children, civilians is not acceptable in International law. And yes, Israel is now bombing Gaza, and innocents will be killed. And that hurts as well. But as we well know by now that Hamas uses civilians as human shields. Another crime against humanity that must be credited to the evil of Hamas.
Which brings me to another Mr. Rogers quote:
“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”
When a terrorist attack occurs anywhere in the world, no matter the country, we as the world community need to come together and be the helpers and say this is wrong. We need to help. It is our problem. These attacks do not happen without financial support. The world is aware of where the money comes from to kill. I believe it was due to the process of creating an agreement between Saudi Arabia and Israel that this attacks happened. Hamas and its ally would lose some control if that agreement had occurred.
I know there are those working for peace in the Middle East. I thank them.
For me, I say thank you to all those who have reached out to give me moral support and love during this time of great distress and anxiety for Israel, all of her citizens, my daughter and her husband, my extended family and friends and also for the Palestinian people who are not members of Hamas and who are also suffering due to the terrorists’ unconscionable acts.
May the names and memories of all have been killed be a blessing. May the goodness of the helpers be remembered. I end with one last Mr. Rogers’ quote:
A recent trip to Israel gave me an opportunity to visit my daughter’s jobsite. The last time I visited her on the job, she worked at the Peres Center for Peace and Innovation in Jaffa. She was using her education and experience to help create peace in the Middle East, definitely a difficult aspiration. Her new job focus has switched to stopping the rise of antisemitism and Jew-hate speech on social media platforms. My daughter has always wanted to make the world a better place.
CyberWell is a start-up NGO founded by Tal-Or Cohen, an attorney and American-Israeli who saw that Jew-hatred was growing on social media. She thought her expertise in law and her experience researching extremist movements In the US on social media would work together as astart to combating this growing problem. She founded CyberWell as an ethical high tech non-profit with the aim to make social media less hateful.
A colleague of my daughter’s from the Peres Center is a close friend of Tal-Or’s, and recommended that my daughter could help in this quest.
In October of 2021, my daughter joined the team. In May 2022, the site came online, first as Global ARC, now recently renamed CyberWell. The work of CyberWell is to document social media hate speech directed mainly at Jews and Israel, to report this hate speech to the social media platforms and to get it removed in all instances. Recently when the artist, Ye, formally Kanye, started posting antisemitic tropes on social media, CyberWell could track the major increase in hate speech. Their documentation of the data is being used by others working to stop this rise of hatred and have social media adopt the IHRA definition of antisemitism.
Tal-Or Cohen has been cited in several articles about this effort. In ‘the algemeiner,” she is quoted: “’Data must be the cornerstone of our fight against online antisemitism,’ said Tal-Or Cohen, the CEO of CyberWell, the company that provided the data for the antisemitic tweets recorded in the letter. ‘In the face of skyrocketing digital Jew-hatred, social media platforms should take meaningful actions and integrate the IHRA definition into their community standards.’”
My daughter’s job is behind the scenes. As Program and Ops Manager, she organizesand searches for ways to connect with others who would support the mission of CyberWell and work with the organization on this important endeavor. You can learn more about the team and CyberWell by going to the website: https://cyberwell.org/our-team/
My visit to CyberWell and its offices near the Sarona area of Tel Aviv was enlightening. The offices are housed in a shared office space, Panthera, that was started by a woman who wanted to give other women entrepreneurs a chance. The space is perfect. CyberWell has two small offices side by side for the four people who currently work on site. But there are lots of shared spaces for conferences and meetings. There is also a wonderful event space that can be rented for events or can be used by people who work there to have meals. My favorite area was the outdoor patio that can be accessed from the shared space. They have found a wonderful place to work while trying to clean up social media.
Tal-Or, Vered, Lara and I shared a lunch in the Sarona Market, where they told me more about what they were doing, what type of hatred they were seeing on line, and their plans to tackle and try to end antisemitism and other hate speech on social media.
Vered, Tal-Or, Lara. The CyberWell team.
It is a lofty plan, one that I think is well worth the effort.
In my role as one of their greatest fans, I gave them as much positive reinforcement as any mother could and I treated them to lunch. Honestly it made me kvell to be with these three young women who are trying to do good in the world.
I have many friends who fear that the hatred against Jews right now is similar to what happened in 1930s in Nazi Germany and Europe. But I see a major difference. Jews are not keeping quiet. We have many who are pushing back. CyberWell is one such company. If you wish to help them in their work, you can join their mission or support them by emailing hello@cyberwell.org or donating through their 501(c)3 fiscal sponsors here.
zicharonot 