People keep asking me how I am doing. Nauseous anxiety mixed with fear of the unknown would be the best description. Each morning when I awaken, I am afraid to turn on the news or even look at my phone.
On Saturday morning October 7, I was awoken by a text message that said, “We are fine.” Why are you telling me you and your husband are fine? Was the thought that went through my mind. I quickly googled Israel. And I saw the horror that was unfolding. I texted back, “Can we speak.” Because who knew if we could. Were they in their safe room/bomb shelter? Were rockets falling? What was happening?
We did speak. My daughter told me of the unspeakable horrors that were occurring and that in all honestly, no one really knew the full extent of the horror till much later. 1400 murdered, brutalized, their corpses mutilated. Infants and children brutally murdered. And some had their heads or hands cut off! What type of human being does this? 260 young adults slaughtered at a music concert where they were celebrating the holiday and hoping for peace. They were chased and murdered. And then there are the hostages to be used as human shields, many of them children, who are still being held captive.
Over 7,000 rockets have been launched into Israel. Besides the dead, over 4600 people injured. Some are still dying from their wounds. And perhaps all the bodies have not yet been recovered.
Obviously, the Israeli government, intelligence and military failed the people of Israel.
How could my anxiety level not be extremely high? I did not sleep for a week. Our long-planned trip to Israel that was to begin on October 18 was cancelled. I am at times overwhelmed by my angst. I have no control of this situation. I cannot fix it. I am so far away. The photos and videos are horrible. And the haters are hating.
I think my angst is heighted by my family history. My grandfather came to America in 1920. His family stayed behind. They all perished. Hundreds of people murdered. Of the ones who were in Europe only four cousins survived from an extended family of about 300 that I have found. ONLY FOUR! I have been the family genealogist searching for the answers: Death in the Lodz Ghetto; Death in Belzec; Death in Auschwitz; Death by being burned alive in a synagogue or mikveh. Death by gun shot to the head. Death by starvation. Death by disease. Death by Nazis and other anti-Semites. My grandfather is from the first area that the Nazis made Judenrein, cleansed of Jews.
As I see what happened in Israel I can see the comparisons. And I understand the terror and fear and anger that people are feeling.
But the worst is also seeing those in our country and others saying that what Hamas did was okay. The antisemitism is… well I honestly cannot think of a word to describe it. But that people can rationalize and say what Hamas did was okay, makes me ill. The New York Times and other media outlets have reached their lowest point and shown their true bias when they would publish a Hamas release about a hospital bombing before checking facts and blaming Israel, causing more hate and actual violence to Jews outside of Israel.. When students at universities and schools chant the words of terror that means eradicating all Jews from Israel, yelling as they march, “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free.” I hope they do not realize that they are calling for the death of all Jews in Israel. But perhaps they are because others chant that Hitler should have finished the job. Hamas, Hezobllah, Iran, want all of Israel to be Judenrein.
Israel said, “Give us back our hostages and we will turn the water and electricity back on.” But Hamas refuses. In the meantime, Israel allows convoyrs with humanitarian aid to pass through, yet so far only 4 hostages have been returned. They are keeping the children. Everyone says the same thing, they will use them as human shields. Can you imagine? A soldier either has to shot through a child or die. Horrifying. In my mind these hostages, many of them, are already dead. And I am not sure if I hope I am wrong. Like that father who found out his 8-year old daughter, Emily, was dead. He was relieved, better dead than a prisoner of Hamas.
Israel said “Move South, we are going to bomb Gaza City.” Those that did not move are now suffering. But is this the fault of Israel? I think not. It is the fault of Hamas who attacked Israel, who built tunnels for their terrorists and bombs to kill, but nothing for the civilians. It is the fault of Hamas who ordered civilians not to leave despite the warnings and then blocked the roads so tht even those who wanted to get out could not. I think 600,000 left. But the ones who are stayed behind are suffering. And I am heartbroken for the children of Gaza, who are also victims of Hamas.
People are angry that Israel cut off the electricity and water. But wait, Israel has been providing electricity and water for decades. And cement, which we know that the Hamas terrorist use to build tunnels was provided by Israel so that they could build homes. We know they build terror tunnels instead. Why should Israel give them anything if their only aim is to destroy Israel and kill all the Jews?
But do the videos and photos of children being pulled out by rubble bother me. YES. I hate that these children are suffering. But my question is this: Did the terrorists in Gaza and the West Bank, and Hezbollah feel bad when they saw the photos of the murdered Jewish/Israeli children? NO they celebrated and gave out candy.
I learned when I lived in Israel after the Yom Kippur War, that if you give an inch the terrorists think you are weak. Right now Israel cannot be weak, or it might be destroyed. And I think that is what sane people are not realizing. Because the terrorists are not sane. They are corrupt with evil. Anyone who can give out candy when others are suffering is evil to me.
How am I feeling? I am disheartened, somewhat despondent, but at the same time I feel disgusted about how the United Nations and progressives are supporting terrorists. There are only 16 million Jewish people throughout the entire population. Why cannot we just be left alone? Just live and let live.
However, I am also defiant. We will survive this. It might take decades to get over the trauma. But we have learned over time how to keep moving forward. We survived the evil of the Holocaust; the wicked plans of Haman; the violence of the Crusaders; the torture and deaths of the Inquisition. I believe we will outlast the evil act of Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, and others who try to eradicate the Jewish People. Am Israel Chai.
zicharonot 