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A Mother’s Musings About Israel

15 Nov

This is my diary over the last five weeks of the Israel – Hamas War. There are many more, but I think these do the best to explain my feelings. I already wrote a blog about thanking the helpers. You can see links to this and another blog below.

October 7. 7:30 am

Just spoke to my daughter. They spent hours in their safe room. They are ok. But stressed and distressed. Many Israelis have been killed, hundreds injured, and dozens taken captive. Hamas terrorists surprise attack on the southern areas and bombing of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

Hamas and Hezbollah are evil attacking civilians, women, children, Jews and Bedouin. They really don’t care who they kill. This was not an attack on a military area. This was attack on innocents at parties, at home at play.

October 12:

United just cancelled our flight to Israel. Not unexpected. But disappointing for several reasons. First, we do not get to see my daughter and son in law and all the other family and friends we planned to visit. Second because United is even afraid to fly a week from now which increases my anxiety by many multiplication of numeric factors.

In the spirit of the recent high holidays, I say: I am angry, I am anxious, I am not sleeping, I am saddened, I am frustrated, I am frightened. I keep thinking of Yom Kippur and how it is inscribed on who will die and how. And I have a scream that is sitting at the bottom of my throat waiting to come out.

October 18:

At this very moment, 8:39 am, I should be landing in Israel at 4:39 pm. Instead I am home in Kansas.

There is nothing else to say except love and prayers for all my family and friends in Israel who I was hoping to visit.

Family update. They are fine. There has only been one rocket a day for a while. My daughter is extremely busy with her work at CyberWell trying to stem the horrible flow of anti-Israel, anti-Semitic and violence toward Jews content off social media. They had a training for volunteers to help identify some of this. If you would be interested in watching the 50-minute webinar and do something productive. Let Lara or me know. I personally have reported posts to the social media platforms and also to CyberWell. This makes a big difference. If everyone one reported one or two a day we can make a change!!!

October 20

I am thankful that he is president during this difficult time. His support for Israel, his fight against baseless hatred is just what we needed. When I visit my elders, many of whom remember the late 1930s and 1940s and are terrified, I can honestly say this is not the same. The president of the USA and many others in government are supporting us.

October 21

My comment today: Do you think the bombing from Gaza has stopped because all you hear in the news is that Israel is attacking Gaza. Have you heard that rockets are still speeding to Tel Aviv, Yafo, Holon, and Rishon LeZion as well as to the south. Many rockets every day. Today my daughter’s alert told of of the incoming all around her community. It is not over. Hamas is still attacking Israel. There is a reason why Hamas has to be eradicated from the world.

Do I feel badly that children are being hurt. Of course. But I am tired of hearing now that Gaza is without water or electricity. Israel has said, return the hostages and we will turn it back on. Give them back.

I am tired of people saying Israel should step down. You are not under the threat of a bomb landing on your home, you are not attending funerals for people you know or family members, you are not sending you son, daughter, spouse, brother, sister off to battle.

The news media is not only focus on what Israel might do. Giving the impression that in Israel it is peaceful. NO it is NOT. Not on the truth about what is happening. Those who live around Gaza have been evacuated. Those who live in the north are on voluntary evacuation.

Stand up for Israel and the impact of this crisis on the citizens. If you want to be angry, be angry at Hamas for what they did murdering 1400 innocent people in their homes; for knowing that what they would do would impact the innocent people of Gaza; for preparing and protecting themselves from the bombing but not the civilians of Gaza. Be angry at the other Moslem countries surrounding the area that want to escalate the war, be angry at Egypt and Jordan and other countries that refuse to help ease the crisis in Gaza.

This war is not what Israel wanted. This is a war that Hamas started and Hamas wanted. Israel is a tiny country surrounded by large land masses inhabited by Moslems. They have all they and they could want. But what many do want is the total annihilating of Israel.

All over the world people are attacking Jewish people who have nothing to do with Israel. So the people who Chant “Not in my Name” are playing into the work of Hamas and so are also guilty for any more attacks on Jews. It is opening a door for more killing and it is wrong. What they should be saying is return the hostages and stop attacking Israel.

October 23

The false news reports about the hospital bombing which was a failed rocket by Hamas leads to violence against Jews world wide. It is amazing, Hamas attacks Israel and kills 1400 people and wounds over 3000. Sends over 6400 rockets and bombs into Israel and in the U.S. and throughout the world people attack Jews. Attack the terrorists who started this. I am horrified by the hatred.

November 3

I pray each day for the conflict in Israel/Gaza to end. For the Hamas to release the prisoners/hostages and to surrender and face the consequences of their crimes. Hamas has continued to threatened Jews and Israel throughout this month and has continued to send rockets into Israel. They have built tunnels under neighborhoods, hospitals and schools. They have threatened and attacked Israeli communities for decades!

I wish there was an easier way to stop the terrorists then this bombing and siege of Gaza City. But the Hamas has stockpiled rockets and weapons, as well as food, water, oil and other supplies. They prepared for this assault on Israel and the return assault on them without caring about any civilians.

During the attack on Israel, Hamas terrorists cut the supply lines that bring water and electricity from Israel to Gaza. Life means nothing to them until they destroy all Jewish life in Israel.

It is time for the terror of Hamas and Hezbollah to end. For all to face the fact that Israel exists and will not disappear. So that all people in the region can live in peace and coexist, so that children will not suffer and innocent people die on either side.

But the increased actions of Jew Hatred that is now growing throughout the world, actually shows the double standard with which Israel and the Jewish communities face. Israel did not start this. On a holiday weekend, when people were sleeping in their beds, Hamas attacked, murdered, mutilated, took captive and wounded almost 6000 people. Over 1400 dead, 240 captive, over 4000 wounded. those killed were mostly Jewish, but many were Moslem and Beduion. Now in the USA there a large numbers that did not condemn Hamas. That is shocking!

No one wants war. Not in Ukraine; Not in Syria; Not in Sudan; Not in Israel; Not in Gaza. Every life has value: Jew, Christian, Moslem, Bahai, Druze, Shinto, Buddist, Hindu, all religions, ethnicities and races.

Shalom, Saalam, Paz, Paix, Friedan, Pace, Peace!

November  4

This is the message I sent to the International Red Cross:

So far only 4 hostages taken by Hamas have been released. One of the main roles of the Red Cross is to help free hostages throughout the world. I have supported the Red Cross for many years. But the unequal and biased work going on now where the hostages, infants, children, women, men, elderly, are ignored because most of them are Jewish is an affront to all what the red cross is supposed to stand for. SHAME ON YOU! Tell Hamas to release the hostages.

We went to a Havdalah service at Leawood City Hall. After the service we each held the photo of a hostage and then stood in silence for 241 seconds in honor of those held hostage by Hamas.

November 13

A relative’s friend asked me if I at all thought Israel was wrong. Here is my response and it is what I believe.

Define wrong. Is it wrong for Hamas to have come into Israel and murder innocents children, women, men, elderly in their homes on a holiday weekend? Is it wrong for Hamas to build their tunnels and shoot rockets off from hospitals and schools using the children and the sick as shields against others? IS it wrong for Hamas to take the funding and cement and fuel sent into Gaza for the people to continue to create and buy weapons and tunnels to attack Israel? Is it wrong for Hamas to keep the people of Gaza captive for years, because you should know that Israel left the Gaze over 15 years ago and withdrew all their people and turn everything over to the Palestinians who voted to put Hamas in power? Is is wrong that Egypt also has a border with Gaza, but they usually keep their border closed and supply little to no help to the people there? Is it wrong that the surrounding Arab countries have kept the people who fled Israel in refugee camps and refused to intergrate them into society, while forcing out an equal number of Jewish citizens who were integrated into Israel, the USA and other countries? Just asking you how you define wrong.

Israel told people to evacuate, Hamas would not let them. ISrael waited over a week to attack so that people could leave. Israel gave fuel. For weeks we have heard that the hospitals would run out of fuel, they did not. Israel repeatedly told the hospital to evacuate. They did not. They have caved to Hamas demands.

You believe everything Hamas says, even though throughout the world they know they are terrorist. The 27 EU countries have condemned Hamas and supported Israel.

So define who is wrong here. To me it is Hamas. ISreal had no intention of going to war on Hamas till Hamas killed and mutilated over 1200 people. And took 240 hostages. What happened after October 7 is on the hands of Hamas.

This would end if Hamas released the hostages and surrender. Why don’t you call for that instead of condemning Israel?

So who do I think is wrong? YOU and Hamas.

I hope that answers your question.

How This American Mother Whose Daughter Lives In Israel Is Feeling
Thank You to The Helpers

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How This American Mother Whose Daughter Lives In Israel Is Feeling

25 Oct

People keep asking me how I am doing. Nauseous anxiety mixed with fear of the unknown would be the best description. Each morning when I awaken, I am afraid to turn on the news or even look at my phone.

On Saturday morning October 7, I was awoken by a text message that said, “We are fine.” Why are you telling me you and your husband are fine? Was the thought that went through my mind. I quickly googled Israel. And I saw the horror that was unfolding. I texted back, “Can we speak.” Because who knew if we could. Were they in their safe room/bomb shelter? Were rockets falling? What was happening?

We did speak.  My daughter told me of the unspeakable horrors that were occurring and that in all honestly, no one really knew the full extent of the horror till much later.  1400 murdered, brutalized, their corpses mutilated.  Infants and children brutally murdered. And some had their heads or hands cut off!  What type of human being does this?  260 young adults slaughtered at a music concert where they were celebrating the holiday and hoping for peace.  They were chased and murdered.  And then there are the hostages to be used as human shields, many of them children, who are still being held captive.

Over 7,000 rockets have been launched into Israel. Besides the dead, over 4600 people injured.  Some are still dying from their wounds.  And perhaps all the bodies have not yet been recovered.

Obviously, the Israeli government, intelligence and military failed the people of Israel.

How could my anxiety level not be extremely high?  I did not sleep for a week.  Our long-planned trip to Israel that was to begin on October 18 was cancelled. I am at times overwhelmed by my angst.  I have no control of this situation.  I cannot fix it.  I am so far away. The photos and videos are horrible.  And the haters are hating.

I think my angst is heighted by my family history.  My grandfather came to America in 1920.  His family stayed behind.  They all perished.  Hundreds of people murdered.  Of the ones who were in Europe only four cousins survived from an extended family of about 300 that I have found.  ONLY FOUR!  I have been the family genealogist searching for the answers: Death in the Lodz Ghetto; Death in Belzec; Death in Auschwitz; Death by being burned alive in a synagogue or mikveh.  Death by gun shot to the head. Death by starvation. Death by disease. Death by Nazis and other anti-Semites. My grandfather is from the first area that the Nazis made Judenrein, cleansed of Jews.

As I see what happened in Israel I can see the comparisons.  And I understand the terror and fear and anger that people are feeling.

But the worst is also seeing those in our country and others saying that what Hamas did was okay. The antisemitism is… well I honestly cannot think of a word to describe it. But that people can rationalize and say what Hamas did was okay, makes me ill. The New York Times and other media outlets have reached their lowest point and shown their true bias when they would publish a Hamas release about a hospital bombing before checking facts and blaming Israel, causing more hate and actual violence to Jews outside of Israel.. When students at universities and schools chant the words of terror that means eradicating all Jews from Israel, yelling as they march, “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free.” I hope they do not realize that they are calling for the death of all Jews in Israel. But perhaps they are because others chant that Hitler should have finished the job. Hamas, Hezobllah, Iran, want all of Israel to be Judenrein.

Israel said, “Give us back our hostages and we will turn the water and electricity back on.” But Hamas refuses. In the meantime, Israel allows convoyrs with humanitarian aid to pass through, yet so far only 4 hostages have been returned. They are keeping the children. Everyone says the same thing, they will use them as human shields. Can you imagine? A soldier either has to shot through a child or die. Horrifying. In my mind these hostages, many of them, are already dead. And I am not sure if I hope I am wrong. Like that father who found out his 8-year old daughter, Emily, was dead. He was relieved, better dead than a prisoner of Hamas.

Israel said “Move South, we are going to bomb Gaza City.” Those that did not move are now suffering. But is this the fault of Israel? I think not. It is the fault of Hamas who attacked Israel, who built tunnels for their terrorists and bombs to kill, but nothing for the civilians. It is the fault of Hamas who ordered civilians not to leave despite the warnings and then blocked the roads so tht even those who wanted to get out could not. I think 600,000 left. But the ones who are stayed behind are suffering. And I am heartbroken for the children of Gaza, who are also victims of Hamas.

People are angry that Israel cut off the electricity and water. But wait, Israel has been providing electricity and water for decades.  And cement, which we know that the Hamas terrorist use to build tunnels was provided by Israel so that they could build homes.  We know they build terror tunnels instead.  Why should Israel give them anything if their only aim is to destroy Israel and kill all the Jews?

But do the videos and photos of children being pulled out by rubble bother me. YES. I hate that these children are suffering. But my question is this: Did the terrorists in Gaza and the West Bank, and Hezbollah feel bad when they saw the photos of the murdered Jewish/Israeli children? NO they celebrated and gave out candy.

I learned when I lived in Israel after the Yom Kippur War, that if you give an inch the terrorists think you are weak. Right now Israel cannot be weak, or it might be destroyed. And I think that is what sane people are not realizing. Because the terrorists are not sane. They are corrupt with evil. Anyone who can give out candy when others are suffering is evil to me.

How am I feeling?  I am disheartened, somewhat despondent, but at the same time I feel disgusted about how the United Nations and progressives are supporting terrorists.  There are only 16 million Jewish people throughout the entire population.  Why cannot we just be left alone? Just live and let live. 

However, I am also defiant.  We will survive this. It might take decades to get over the trauma. But we have learned over time how to keep moving forward.  We survived the evil of the Holocaust; the wicked plans of Haman; the violence of the Crusaders; the torture and deaths of the Inquisition.  I believe we will outlast the evil act of Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, and others who try to eradicate the Jewish People.  Am Israel Chai.

Thank You to The Helpers

10 Oct

I am a firm believer in the words of wisdom from Mr. Fred Rogers.  One of his gems was in times of stress or danger, “look for the helpers.”  I have to say that in the last four days, the helpers have been finding me.  I did not realize how many helpers there are surrounding me.

Since Saturday, October 7, when the Hamas terrorists attacked Israel and murdered almost 1000 people who were just going about their days and celebrating the Jewish holiday of Shemini Atzeret, I have felt the support of my community.

I have received over 100 text messages, emails, phone calls, and Facebook messages from people, family and friends, living all over the country and Israel.  I have heard from friends I have not heard from in several years who want to check in on me.  Why me?  Because my daughter and her husband live in Israel.  And everyone wants to know if they are safe.

My neighbors have called and left me messages.  A family member who was traveling overseas, emailed me upon landing in Hungary when she heard about the attacks.  My college roommate and high school friends are contacting me.  My community in Kansas have reached out.  And it is not just me.  My husband has received messages and support from his work colleagues and friends.

Our world is so small now. What happens in one community, one country can impact every country. The violence of terrorist has been a bane to many countries: New York, Washington DC and Pennsylvania, USA, Mumbai, India, Paris, France; Buenes Aires, Argentina; and more.  The need for security from terrorists/shooters is overwhelming simple things like entering a building, going to school, going to pray.

In most cases the active shooter or the terrorist is easily seen as the one doing evil.  It is somewhat disheartening to see on social media and in the news that there are people who are praising the barbaric slaughter of children, women, men, families in their homes, elderly.  Many of whom were just at home enjoying a holiday. But not only were they killed but their corpses were mutilated.  And many were taken hostage and brutalized and humiliated and hurt. Hamas has shown its true face of evil. 

To those who feel that Israel is at fault for this attack, I have to say how would you react if a group of terrorists came over from Mexico and killed 1000 people in El Paso, Texas, and said the USA deserved it because they are treating the South American refugees badly. Would you say the USA deserved once again to be the victim of terrorism? I think not. The citizens of the USA would want revenge, just as we did after 911. It is a war crime to actually target children and non military personal.

According to the United Nations: “The right of civilians not to be arbitrarily deprived of life and the prohibitions against killing or maiming civilians are principles firmly enshrined in international humanitarian law, international human rights law and international jurisprudence. The prohibition of violence to civilians, including children, in particular murder, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture is a principle of customary international law, with universal applicability in all situations of armed conflict.” (See website below.)

I would think that taking children and infants hostage; murdering over 260 teenagers at a party, and murdering families in their homes would be considered a crime against humanity, targeting women, children, civilians is not acceptable in International law. And yes, Israel is now bombing Gaza, and innocents will be killed. And that hurts as well. But as we well know by now that Hamas uses civilians as human shields. Another crime against humanity that must be credited to the evil of Hamas.

Which brings me to another Mr. Rogers quote:

“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”

When a terrorist attack occurs anywhere in the world, no matter the country, we as the world community need to come together and be the helpers and say this is wrong.  We need to help. It is our problem. These attacks do not happen without financial support. The world is aware of where the money comes from to kill. I believe it was due to the process of creating an agreement between Saudi Arabia and Israel that this attacks happened. Hamas and its ally would lose some control if that agreement had occurred.

I know there are those working for peace in the Middle East. I thank them.

For me, I say thank you to all those who have reached out to give me moral support and love during this time of great distress and anxiety for Israel, all of her citizens, my daughter and her husband, my extended family and friends and also for the Palestinian people who are not members of Hamas and who are also suffering due to the terrorists’ unconscionable acts.

May the names and memories of all have been killed be a blessing.  May the goodness of the helpers be remembered.  I end with one last Mr. Rogers’ quote:

“There are three ways to ultimate success:

The first way is to be kind.

The second way is to be kind.

The third way is to be kind.”

Killing and Maiming

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Take My Mother To Work Day: CyberWell

29 Nov

A recent trip to Israel gave me an opportunity to visit my daughter’s jobsite.  The last time I visited her on the job, she worked at the Peres Center for Peace and Innovation in Jaffa.  She was using her education and experience to help create peace in the Middle East, definitely a difficult aspiration.  Her new job focus has switched to stopping the rise of antisemitism and Jew-hate speech on social media platforms.  My daughter has always wanted to make the world a better place.

CyberWell is a start-up NGO founded by Tal-Or Cohen, an attorney and American-Israeli who saw that Jew-hatred was growing on social media.  She thought her expertise in law and her experience researching extremist movements In the US on social media would work together as astart to combating this growing problem.   She founded CyberWell as an ethical high tech non-profit with the aim to make social media less hateful.

A colleague of my daughter’s from the Peres Center is a close friend of Tal-Or’s, and recommended that my daughter could help in this quest.

In October of 2021, my daughter joined the team.  In May 2022, the site came online, first as Global ARC, now recently renamed CyberWell. The work of CyberWell is to document social media hate speech directed mainly at Jews and Israel, to report this hate speech to the social media platforms and to get it removed in all instances.  Recently when the artist, Ye, formally Kanye, started posting antisemitic tropes on social media, CyberWell could track the major increase in hate speech.  Their documentation of the data is being used by others working to stop this rise of hatred and have social media adopt the IHRA definition of antisemitism. 

Tal-Or Cohen has been cited in several articles about this effort. In ‘the algemeiner,” she is quoted: “’Data must be the cornerstone of our fight against online antisemitism,’ said Tal-Or Cohen, the CEO of CyberWell, the company that provided the data for the antisemitic tweets recorded in the letter. ‘In the face of skyrocketing digital Jew-hatred, social media platforms should take meaningful actions and integrate the IHRA definition into their community standards.’”

My daughter’s job is behind the scenes. As Program and Ops Manager, she organizesand searches for ways to connect with others who would support the mission of CyberWell and work with the organization on this important endeavor. You can learn more about the team and CyberWell by going to the website: https://cyberwell.org/our-team/

My visit to CyberWell and its offices near the Sarona area of Tel Aviv was enlightening.  The offices are housed in a shared office space, Panthera, that was started by a woman who wanted to give other women entrepreneurs a chance.  The space is perfect.  CyberWell has two small offices side by side for the four people who currently work on site. But there are lots of shared spaces for conferences and meetings.  There is also a wonderful event space that can be rented for events or can be used by people who work there to have meals.  My favorite area was the outdoor patio that can be accessed from the shared space. They have found a wonderful place to work while trying to clean up social media.

Tal-Or, Vered, Lara and I shared a lunch in the Sarona Market, where they told me more about what they were doing, what type of hatred they were seeing on line, and their plans to tackle and try to end antisemitism and other hate speech on social media.

Vered, Tal-Or, Lara. The CyberWell team.

It is a lofty plan, one that I think is well worth the effort.

In my role as one of their greatest fans, I gave them as much positive reinforcement as any mother could and I treated them to lunch.  Honestly it made me kvell to be with these three young women who are trying to do good in the world.  

I have many friends who fear that the hatred against Jews right now is similar to what happened in 1930s in Nazi Germany and Europe. But I see a major difference. Jews are not keeping quiet. We have many who are pushing back. CyberWell is one such company. If you wish to help them in their work, you can join their mission or support them by emailing hello@cyberwell.org or donating through their 501(c)3 fiscal sponsors here.

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Wonderful Changes at Truman Presidential Library

26 Oct

Living on the Kansas side of the Kansas City metropolitan area, my husband and I do not often venture to the Missouri side.  But recently we made the trip to Independence, Missouri, home of the Truman Presidential Library.

Truman statute outside the Courthouse in Independence.

Before heading to the Library, we met a friend on the ‘Square’ in Independence for lunch.  But first we walked around the outside of the Court House where Harry S. Truman had served as a judge for many years.  We admired his statute which stands in front of the Courthouse.

After lunch we went to the Truman Library.  Since it reopened in June 2021, we have been wanting to see the changes. But as COVID ebbed and waned, the museum closed, then reopened, then required timed tickets.  Now It is back to normal scheduling.

Truman greets you!
The new entrance

The changes are wonderful!  First you arrive at a new entrance, which is located on the side of the parking lots, making it much easier to enter.  It is so much better than walking up all those stairs and entering right into the room where the wonderful Thomas Hart Benton mural is on display.  The new area has room for groups to meet up, bathroom facilities, a lovely gift store and the entrance to a room with a short movie about Truman.

Each exhibit room in the museum has been repurposed and reinvented.  There are movies and interactive activities throughout.  Some of the movies are in little alcoves, others are in bigger areas.  All have a bit of seating and standing room.  But you have the choice of how much time you want to take in each area, depending on how many activities you want to do.

This came off one of the bombs before it was dropped.

I loved the exhibit about the atomic bomb and Japan. The important documents are highlighted and much easier to read and see. I still cannot believe that Vice President Truman knew nothing about the atomic bomb.  The letter to President Truman requesting a meeting to discuss a “highly secret matter” to me is chilling.  Another chilling moment in this exhibit is the two videos about the actual bombing.  Seeing the movie about the aftermath is emotional.

Recognized Israel

For me the exhibit and movie about Truman’s recognition of Israel as a state also was moving. Once again, the relevant letter was highlighted better than in the old version of the library.  I also enjoyed watching the movie about this important moment. Although Truman lived in a time when antiSemitism and the Holocaust had decimated the Jewish people, he felt that they deserved a homeland, a safe haven. But the antiSemitism of the world colored his staff as well. Finally, Truman made the decision to recognize Israel despite what some of his staff wanted and due to the intervention of his close Jewish friend. An antiSemitism that is once again rising, I hope we can find leaders like Truman who will push away the words of those who hate, to work for a peaceful world for all.

You can still see the re-creation of Truman’s oval office setting, as well as the office he used when he was retired in Independence.  It was intriguing to me that Truman never had a college education. But he was a lover of books and reading. His library is still filled with his books.

A sign outside the office says, “Readers of good books, particularly books of biography and history, are preparing themselves for leadership. Not all readers become leaders, but all leaders much be readers.” A statement that is extremely important as we look to elect good leaders now! Reading and the ability to understand complex issues made Truman a great president.

When you walk over to this office, you also can pay your respects to the graves of Bess and Harry Truman, along with the daughter and son in law, Clifton and Margaret Daniel.

There is much more to see at the Truman Library and special exhibits.  When we were there the new exhibit, “Portraits of Courage” with paintings by President George W. Bush, was not yet open.  It will be there through December 31, 2022.

I do need to say that Truman was my Dad’s favorite president. When he would come to visit we would do Truman trips: Lamar, Missouri, for Truman’s birthplace and to the Truman home in Independence. I brought my parents to the Truman Library at least two times! Dad would have loved the changes.

https://www.trumanlibrary.gov/

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The Murder of Chava Feuer 1942

22 Apr

It is not every day that you find out exactly how your great grandmother was murdered in the Shoah.  But it just happened to me, and I am in shock.

I was taking a webinar called “The Case of The Missing Ancestors: Genealogy Tips from Nancy Drew,” that I signed up for from the Erie Community Library.  The speaker was Ellen Shindelman Kowitt. I am still searching for my grandfather’s three siblings.  After hitting dead end after dead end, I thought maybe this workshop would help. 

The speaker mentioned looking up the name of the town instead of the name of the person.  So while I was listening on one device, I entered the name of my grandfather’s birthplace, Trzciana, Poland, on another device.

At first I just found a short Wikipedia entry telling me that Trzciana was a small village in Buchnia County, the seat of the administration office, and so was called Gmina Trzciana.  It was just outside Mielec, which I knew.  It currently has a population of 1462.  No mention of the Shoah.

Then I entered “Trzciana and the Holocaust.”  A book popped up:
The Holocaust and European Societies: Social Processes and Social Dynamics edited by Frank Bajohr and Andrea Low.  There were also some sample pages that I could read, including a section on an event that happened in Trzciana.

I knew my great grandmother, Chava, was murdered in her town.  I knew she had been hidden. And that saved her when the rest of her family was taken. I thought she was murdered at the end, after the war was over. But that is not the case.  She was murdered in 1942. There is an entire paragraph about the murder of my great grandmother Chava, the wife of Gimple.  MY Great Grandmother.

I can imagine the fear she had when she knew the Nazis were searching for all the Jewish people in the area. When she knew that the Polish people were afraid and turning the Jews in.  How in fear she must have been when she went to a family that had hid her before. But I am sure she knew there was no hope.  No hope, no help. Just death. And did it really matter when everyone else was already gone? Her husband, her four children. Her extended family.

Yes, I am crying.  Yes, I think I am in shock.  This I never expected.  I did not find my great aunts and great uncle.  But I found this. 

I have ordered the book.  I need to see it and touch it.  To really believe it.

But read for yourself the murder of Chava Feuer, my great grandmother, for whom I carry her name.  May her name and memory always be a blessing. (Yes, I know it says Chana, but believe me it is Chava.)

She says “Do with me as you please.” This touches my heart. I was an obstinate child. I would often say to my parents and grandparents, “Do what you want, I am not moving.” My grandfather would shake his head and laugh, while my grandmother would say, “You are just like her.” The “her” being Chava, whose name I carry.

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What Happened to Grandpa’s Twin Sisters?

16 Apr
My great aunt Tova, my great Grandparents Gimple and Chava. The man driving is an Uncle. And the horses and cart they bought with the money my grandparents sent. They all perished.

Would it be horrible to say that I am disappointed to find that my grandfather’s two sisters were not the victims of Josef Mengele?  It sounds horrible even to me.  But I have been searching to find out what happened to them for over a decade.  And I thought I finally found a glimmer of hope.  I remembered that they were twins.  Perhaps they made it to the right concentration camp and were separated out. I could at least have some closure.

But no.  Another dead end, I write without a pun.  I had already searched through Yad V Shem, where I found my grandfather’s parents and one brother.  I have found my great grandparents, Gimple/Mordechai who died in Auschwitz and Chava who died in the town.  My great uncle, Shimon died in Belzec.   All three testimonies were put in Yad VShem by a cousin, Shalom Hollander.  Although he entered many other testimonies, there are none for the other three siblings.

I have searched through the Jewish Gen files.  I have found many, many, well hundreds of family members who perished in the Shoah.  But I cannot find my grandfather’s two sisters and their families and his other brother.  It is what I have been searching for since I started my genealogy searches. 

I tried the place that usually helps, Tracing the Tribe Facebook Group.  From one member, I found out about the the Arolsen Archives, International Center on Nazi Persecution, in Bad Arolsen in Germany.  And I had great hope.  I filled out three forms with all the information I had on my great aunts, Tova and Tzelia, and great uncle Nachum.  I admit it was not much.  Just their names and town of birth, parents and approximate date of birth. 

I was sure to add that Tova and Tzelia were twins.  I have a photo of Tova.  I knew she was married.  She probably had children. But by the time I spoke to my grandfather about her and his other siblings in the 1970s, he had forgotten the names of her husband and children.  So my search was based on somewhat limited information.

Unfortunately, the Arolsen Archives could not help.  For each of my requests, I received the same message. “We can inform you today that we – based on the data you provided – have made an extensive check of the documentation available to us.
To our regret, it has not proved possible for us to ascertain any information.”

Another dead end.  But I was not totally surprised.  I know that Mielec and Grandpa’s home town of Trzciana, were among the first cities that the Nazis chose to kill all the Jews.  Only 100 Jewish residents from the area survived the war.  Some were killed at the Denbica/Dembitz Murder site.  Others went to the Lodz Ghetto and then Belzec  Some died in Auschwitz.  But some died in their community, like my great grandmother.  Some were burned in the synagogue.  Some were burned in the mikve.  Some were shot. 

I have discovered many people with similar names, but not these three.

I assume they died nameless, not a number in the Nazi machine.

So perhaps not finding them is a good thing.  Perhaps they died quickly.  They did not have to suffer the indignity of being a victim of Mengele.  They did not make it to the Concentration Camps.  But what is so sad is that no family member was able to write their testimonies.  No one could enter their names in to Yad VShem data base.  And I cannot either, because I do not know what happened.

Perhaps my quest to find out the names of their children will never be achieved.  I will never find out what happened.   Each time I have found out what happened to a family member. I have had another little stab in my heart.  Perhaps it is time to let this search end.

Murdered In Belzec
The Yad VaShem Shoah Database: Each Name Becomes A Memory

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Just Getting Out My Frustration

27 Oct

I wish I was the editor of a newspaper so that I could put my views out to the public more efficiently. I have written letters to the editor of the Star, but I think I have sent in too many. One got published, but three others did not. Here is my last one that was not accepted for publication. However, due to the vote in the Senate yesterday, and the despair I am seeing, I will publish it here with a few additions.

In last Sunday’s KC Star a letter writer said he was voting for Trump because he was pro-life based on his Supreme Court nominees, specifically Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and now Barrett.  The writer is wrong. The president is not pro-life, he is anti-life.

If he was pro-life, he would insist that everyone wear a mask.  That would save over 100,000 lives according to all scientific estimates.

If he was pro-life, he would leave the Affordable Care Act (ACA) alone, as it provides health care for young adults up to 26 under their parent’s insurance, no lifetime cap on health care payments, no pre-existing conditions clause, and better medical care for our seniors.

 If he was pro-life, he would make sure that all children in our country had access to food, not trying to cut SNAP, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, food assistance funds to families.

If he was pro-life he would be working toward a safer environment instead of loosening rules about the air, the water and the environment and work for renewable energy.

If he was pro-life he would reject the behavior of the alt-right and the militias who are attacking minorities, but he does not, instead he encourages them.

If he was pro-life he would work to keep guns away from the mentally ill and ban semi-automatic weapons instead of kowtowing to the NRA.

This administration is not pro-life, it is pro getting votes by playing to a one-topic audience who sees abortion as the only evil in the world. 

This country has passed HIPAA laws to keep the medical records private, including the private discussions between a woman and her physician. That is the law that should be followed!

The Senate should have stayed out of women’s medical health, instead focus on helping the many suffering due to the President’s horrendous response to COVID-19.

Barrett appears to be anti-choice and anti-gay rights. This is discouraging and flashes back to the 1950s. However, we do have laws and precedent for the good. What we really need is a President and Congress who believe in all rights. Who like Pope Francis has endorsed Same-sex civil unions.

We need a truly good person who follows the moral and ethical rules that we should care for the needy, help to heal the sick, welcome the stranger.Unlike these Philistines who mouth words but do not walk the walk and do good deeds.

I am tired of hearing that this President and his evil cohort in the Senate save innocent lives all because they seem to support anti-abortion decisions. But stopping abortion is not really about saving lives, instead it is about controlling women.

They have sinned by trying to cut SNAP. They have sinned by separating children from their parents at the borders, leaving over 500 children without their parents. They have sinned by ignoring the universal laws of dealing with refugees. They have sinned by not helping the sick and dealing nationally with the COVID-19 Pandemic. They have sinned by rejecting science on health care and the environment.

While they need to seek forgiveness, atonement and redemption for the evil deeds they have brought to our country, we need to keep working toward a healthier, safer and better world.

.

Having my Identity Stolen to File False Claims Invigorates My Political Drive

16 Oct

Having my social security number used for fraudulent activity really made me angry.  When I got the first letter on Monday, September 28, from the Kansas Department of Labor telling me that I had filed for unemployment benefits, I was shocked. I had not done that. I was still working. But it listed my employer and had my information.

I spent the next day dealing with the fallout.  Luckily for me, I had frozen my credit accounts five years ago, when someone filed a fraudulent tax return.  My credit was safe, but my sense of security was now stolen.  I contacted the Kansas Department of Labor (who filed a police report), the Social Security Administration through www.theft.gov., my bank, my credit card companies, the credit agencies just to add a one year fraud alert, my job, my accountant and my brother because I had a joint bank account with him.

I began to realize that I was not the only one, when my accountant admitted that he too had received such a letter, and his Social Security number was being used fraudulently!  Several other people I knew also had it happen.

I could not understand what a person would gain from this filing, the department of labor had all my information.  But then came the stunner. The next day I got a second letter showing a filing for (Pandemic Unemployment Assistance) PUA, of $22,000.  There was a claim that I as a ‘gig’ working earning close to $100,000 a year.  WOW.    I filed and updated my stolen identity reports.

Later that evening I got a phone call from my boss, someone else at work had received a letter from the Kansas Department of Labor for an Unemployment claim. Could I help her? Yes. I could.  I had an email from my husband from his place of employment outlining exactly what to do if you had your identity stolen. It seems many at his place of employment also had also had employees with unemployment claims filed.   I passed the email on.  The next day I reviewed a revised edition of this email that my boss had edited for our staff.

I will say I began to feel better knowing I was not the only one!  It was not schadenfreude, it was relief. First the Department of Labor had a note on their website letting me know that this was not my fault, and that I was not in trouble.  In fact, over 45,000 fraudulent claims have been made by crooks during the pandemic just in Kansas alone.  I, at least, found out because I am still working.  Many don’t find out till they file a claim and find out someone has already received unemployment benefits in their name!

But it shook my world in a time when the world keeps shaking.   We have COVID.  We have false information about masks. We have rampant unemployment.  We have gun violence.  We have an increase in young adults and teens dying by suicide.  We have increasing racism and anti-Semitism. We have fires burning down communities resulting from climate change that is causing other issues as well.  We have politicians who seem to be more concerned about their own political careers than about the people they SERVE!

That is why I am voting to return sanity to public service.  I am putting my voice behind candidates who still care about the people of the United States and Kansas. People who I know care about our children, our education system and our health care. Barbara Bollier, Sharice Davids, Ethan Corson, and Joy Koesten are all Kansas people I believe Kansans can trust in a time when we all have so many reasons to be distrustful! 

As for the United States, Biden and Harris have such a more positive outlook for our country.  I am tired of lies, misinformation, misdirection and conspiracy theories being supported.  I am tired of the lack of support for health issues and the wearing of masks to help our country and our people.  I am tired of an administration that does not care about all the peoples of the United States and only wants to help some of the population.   It is time that we were all united once again.

WE need cyber security.  WE need to help our environment.  WE need to put the racists back into a box and seal the lead.  WE need health care for all especially in a pandemic.  WE need women’s rights to be protected. 

Everyone needs to vote. 

My Personal Rules for Dealing with the Storm

18 Jul

For the past four months I have found it difficult to get back to my genealogy research.  I just was overwhelmed by moving and the pandemic and working from home and watching the craziness of the politicalizing health care and wearing masks. 

I touched a bit of my passion when I discovered my husband’s parent’s wedding album and was able to write about it and put a photo up for his family.  We were supposed to have a family reunion of all the first cousins in June, but that was called off due to the pandemic.  The blog about the wedding album was a way to remember.

But as for my research on my family, I hit a mental block.  I am beginning to think that the worldwide rise in antisemitism part of the problem.  When I research my family, I often end up back in concentration camps, ghettos, death and destruction due to the Shoah.

 I just cannot bear to deal with that now.  I see history repeating as horrible political cartoons and national figures make horrendous statements about Jewish people.   It disgusts me.  And even people who I consider friends, sometimes do not see the antisemitism in the comments or cartoons.  And that frightens and sickens me.

I have a high level of anxiety about baseless hatred.  The same hatred I see rising in the USA.  But not only the hatred, the use of the military to attack US citizens.  The use of unidentified soldiers in Portland illegally arresting people in a militia like the SS. It is against the law in the USA to arrest someone without identifying yourself and with no due cause.

The use of the military to attack peaceful protesters at a church so the administration could have a photo op.  The use of the military in non-identified uniforms at the Lincoln Memorial.


These soldiers and members of the military need to say a resounding NO!  They should not be brainless lambs like the Nazi/German soldiers whose response after the war was, “I just did what I was ordered to do.”

I am beginning to see some light.  The pentagon said No to the Confederate Flag.  The general who was at the church apologized for being at the church in uniform and giving what seemed to be military approval of this behavior.  The mayor of Portland saying get these federal agents out.

Sane people have to behave in a sane way.  Right now fear and lies are ruling our country. So my rules:

  1.  Do not be a lie spreader.  Please check your sources before you post anything.  Misinformation on either side increases the divisiveness. 
  2. Don’t stop talking to others who do not believe what you believe. If we stop talking to each other, we add to the polarization of this country.   We can agree to disagree, but we should not end conversation.
  3. Believe the science of disease.  Wearing a mask will not hurt you. You will not get sick from carbon dioxide. This is a cruel lie.  Wearing a mask does stop the spread of the disease. This is the truth.  And honestly, doctors and nurses have been wearing masks for a long time. And they are alive.  Except those who have recently died because of their constant exposure to the Covid virus.  Even masks and PPE cannot always save you from infection. But it does help.
  4. So wear a mask out of kindness for others.  Keep physical distance inside out of kindness to others.  This will eventually pass, but to save the most people as possible we need to be responsible.
  5. United we stand, divided we fall.  We are one country which includes people of all races, religions and creeds.  When one group is made the scapegoat or the outcast, we all suffer.  It is time for racism to stop.  It is time for anti-Semitism to stop.  It is time for rants against the other to just stop.  We have to learn to live together again.
  6. Finally, just be kind. The administration has taken kindness out of the vocabulary.  Follow the words that we are supposed to follow:  Isaiah 58:7  Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Ezekiel 18:7  Does not oppress anyone, but restores to the debtor his pledge, commits no robbery, gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with a garment, Matthew 25:34-46: Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? “Feed the hungry, visit the sick and set free the captives.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, volume 7, Hadith 552) “(The righteous are those) who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: ‘We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.” –  Quran, 76:8-9. “One should not behave towards other in a way that is disagreeable to oneself. This is the essence of morality. All other activities are due to selfish nature.” Mahabharata, Anusasana Parva 113.8. My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” The Dalai Lama

Do NOT remain silent when you see evil taking place. The silent bystander, who does nothing, is just as bad as the ones who commit the evil. We have learned this from history. We all need to say a resounding NO to the cruelty that that is being spread.

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