Finding Answers About My Paternal Great Grandmother

17 Apr

In Ashkenazi Jewish custom we name our children for those beloved family members who have passed away. I was always told that I was named after three of my great grandmothers:

Chava was for my maternal grandfather’s mother, Chava, who was murdered in the Shoah.

Sara was for my maternal grandmother’s mother Sara/Sura, who died in the 1920s in Poland, and for my paternal grandfather’s mother as her name was Sarah as well.

I knew about my two maternal great grandmothers, because there were family stories about them.  But I knew nothing about my paternal great grandmother even though she  lived in the United States and is buried in New York.  I have recently realized there is more to the story about her and my name. 

I have been searching for information about my paternal great grandmother  for years.  The first real clue was when we first saw a photo of her about five years ago.  We did not even know we had one!  But my first cousin was searching through her family’s old photos and discovered one of her with my uncle.  (See blog below.)

More information followed when my distant cousin, Evan, who is a great researcher, found my grandparent’s marriage license.  They were married in January of 1923.  It contained my great grandmother’s maiden name which we never knew: Ritt.

Evan also found a puzzle piece for me when he found her death certificate, which was packed with information. The final link was when Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, New York, where she was buried on January 29, 1938, sent me a photo of her matzevah (tombstone).

I now can tell my family more about my mysterious great grandmother, who I now know is named Chaya Sarah, so close to my own name of Chava Sara, that I think I was bound to have this name.

My great grandmother did not have an easy life.  She gave birth to 11 children. Eight survived to adulthood.  She lost her oldest daughter, Celia, to swine flu when she was in her 20s.  Her oldest son, Samuel, was mentally ill and spent most of his adult life institutionalized.  She and her husband, Abraham, were divorced in the 1930s.  A very unusual occurrence for a Jewish woman, well for any woman, in that time period.

My Great Grandma Sarah died on January 28, 1938, from cancer of the panaceas at Jewish Hospital of Brooklyn, when she was 68 years old.  My grandfather, then the oldest living child signed the death certificate and made the arrangements.

I have three thoughts about this information.  First, the line through my grandfather is cancer free.  But I have since learned that the line through his youngest sibling, Jacob, was not as kind. We all thought Jacob had disappeared after he moved to England when my dad was a child. But in fact he died when he was in his fifties from cancer, as did his son Rufus.  The cancer gene followed them. (See blog below.)

Second, I think I know why I was named for her.  She died in late January.  Years later, I was born in late January.  It made sense.  Finally, I am currently close to her age when she died.  And that touches me that I found out now.

I know that she was born about 1870, in France.  That she and her parents lived in France surprised me. But her father and mother, Hirsh and Flora Ritt, were from Poland.  So I think they were in transit from Poland to the USA when she was born.  I have no proof, but it seems right.  I also know that her father died before 1892 because my grandfather was named for him. Zvi Hirsh.  I now know that she was about 22 when she had her third child, and her other children were toddlers when my grandfather was born.

She died when my Dad was just 9 years old.  He really did not have many memories of her or information.  But now we know her name and also the names of my great great grandparents: Chaya Sarah Ritt, the daughter of Hirsh Zvi and Flora Ritt.  We now can add their memories to our family.

I want to thank the personnel of Beth David Cemetery. I now have photos of the graves of four of my great grandparents.

The Gift of a Photo Becomes a Gift of Genealogy
Did Great Aunt Celia Die From the Spanish Flu?
Update About My Grandfather’s Mysterious Brother Jacob

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Olathe, Kansas, Field Trip for our Anniversary

24 Mar

As I have written before, I love museums.  So for the last few years, my husband and I have discovered new places on field trips close to home to visit. The last two years, we have spent our anniversary day seeking new places to see. (See blogs below.). This year I focused on two sites in Olathe, Kansas.

School for the Deaf

First stop, Museum of Deaf History, Arts and Culture, A Deafhood Institute. I became intrigued by the site and the museum when I served on jury duty at the courthouse in Olathe.  Each morning and afternoon I would drive passed the Kansas School For the Deaf. and think that we should visit it. There is a personal connection as my husband is a member of the hearing impaired community and has needed hearing aids for the past six years  My interest piqued when the school I worked at added sign language to the curriculum and I met two people who taught there.

The school was established in 1861 as the Kansas Deaf-Mute Institute.  Its’ name changed over the years, using words we no longer use to describe it.  It received its’ current name in the early 1900s. The school serves Kansas children starting at age 3 and continuing through age 21. Its mission is: “To ensure that all students we serve achieve their full potential in a language-rich environment.”

The Museum of Deaf History, Arts & Culture was founded in 1988, with the museum building opening across the street from the school’s campus in 2001 and getting its name officially in 2017.

I was intrigued to see the changes in how the deaf community has been treated over the years and the rise of abundant social, cultural and educational opportunities.  Learning how sign language came to the United States through a French educator and how that changed the lives of many deaf people to me was important to know.

 For me the most interesting was watching a 17-minute documentary about the deaf community of Martha’s Vineyard.  This island had a larger than normal population of deaf people.  A large percentage of the population of the island used sign language and spoken English to communicate. Offically called Martha’s Vineyard Sign Language (MVSL), it was used until the 1950s. With the development of American Sign Language, this local sign language slowly disappeared. However, some of the signs in American Sign Language come from MVLS. 

Also known as the William J. Marra Musuem, the museum is opened Wednesday through Sunday from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm.  It is free, but there is a donation box at the entrance.

About a mile from this museum was our next stop, The Mahaffie StageCoach & Farm Historic Site.  I had been there almost 40 years ago when I worked for the local Girl Scout Council for a large scout event.  I remember it as a small site with the main limestone house that was built by the Mahaffie family on land that bordered the Santa Fe Trail and ended being used as resting stop for travelers both on wagon trains or stagecoach. 

The house was built in 1865 by Beatty and Lucinda Mahaffie as a home for their family of eight children, it is one of the last remaining stagecoach stops left! Their farm was one of the most successful farms in the area.  And even though the trains brought the end of the wagon trains, this farm survived!

Now operated by the City of Olathe Parks and Recreation Department, it is a much larger restored site than I remembered.  There is now a large Agricultural Heritage Barn and the Heritage Center to explore that has exhibits and information about the family and life in the 1800s.

When we went on a Friday afternoon, the main house was closed. However, we were able to explore the Heritage Center and walk around the grounds of the farm and the buildings.   During this time of year, the house is only open on Saturdays. But between Memorial Day and Labor Day it is open from Wednesday through Sunday and has living history activities, which are also available on weekends in April, May, September and October. Cost is $3.00 a person.

https://www.ksdeaf.org

https://www.museumofdeaf.org

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha%27s_Vineyard_Sign_Language#:~:text=Martha’s%20Vineyard%20Sign%20Language%20(MVSL,to%20participation%20in%20public%20life.

https://www.mahaffie.org

https://wordpress.com/posts/zicharonot.com?s=Anniversary

Money Museum, A Numismatic Joy

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Great Aunt Minnie was Basically Another Grandma

17 Mar

I have written about my Grandmother’s two brothers who died relatively young: one as baby, the other in his early 60s.  I did not know them that well.  I decided I should write more about my Aunt Minnie, my grandmother’s older sister, because she was important in our lives. 

Aunt Minnie is in many of my blogs because she was always with us.  When my grandmother moved to Co-op City in the Bronx in the late 1960s, Aunt Minnie moved to Co-op City in the Bronx, in an apartment directly under my grandparents.

When my grandparents came up for the summer to the Catskills, Aunt Minnie came up for the summer to the Catskills and stayed in the same bungalow with my grandparents.  I honestly do not know how they did that.  My grandparents had the bedroom, Aunt Minnie slept on trundle bed in the kitchen area.

Every holiday, Aunt Minnie was there.  She was basically another grandmother. She gave us gifts for our birthdays and Hanukkah, $5 each.  She hugged us, she scolded us sometimes, and she told us what to do, just like my two other grandmothers.

My father was the youngest boy. He is the lower right.

Aunt Minnie’s married in 1918. Her husband, Uncle Eli or Uncle Al, died before I was born, in 1949.  They had two sons, who were older than my uncle and my dad. But, in reality, the four boys, and then my aunt who was the youngest, were basically raised together.  Part of the reason is that my great grandparents lived with my grandparents.  My grandfather and great grandfather worked together in a tailor shop they owned. (See blog below.) Family gatherings were always at their apartment in the Bronx.

With all that togetherness, what amazed me is that one of Aunt Minnie’s sons, Victor,  married and moved to New Orleans.  He left the fold.  The other, David, met a lovely woman in England during World War Two and brought into the family a British war bride who was not Jewish, but by the time I can remember she was a loved member of the family.   In our family these two men were known as Cousin Victor and Cousin David.  They weren’t uncles, but they were not to be called by their first name alone.  And their wives were also referred to as cousin, before their first names.

Cousin David had two children, who I won’t name because they are still living.  However, I will tell you one story about Cousin David.  He had a very bad stutter growing up and into his adulthood.  When he was anxious he would stutter then slowed his speech till it stopped.  As a child, I had a bad speech impediment.  I started meeting with a speech therapist before I even started school and continued through eighth grade.  This made me very shy and wary of speaking to strangers.  Cousin David was my advocate.  At every family event we both attended he would stop to talk to me to give me coping skills which I still use today.  I am very adept in the middle talking to switch words because a word I can say today, I might now be able to say tomorrow.  I have a thesaurus of words sitting in my mind  waiting for an emergency.  Cousin David’s advice has been well used over the decades.

Another little Cousin David story.  My father is also named for the same person David was named for. But my dad had a different first name that began with D, only his Hebrew name was David.  This goes back to my Grandma Esther’s dislike of being one of five girl first cousins named Esther. (See blog below.)

Cousin Victor and his wife lived in New Orleans and had three children.  I did not know them at all. I remember meeting them at my wedding, when they came up for the celebration.  My Aunt Minnie had died about two years before when she was in her early 80s, and I think the cousins decided that they needed to celebrate together not just go to funerals.  One spring break we took our children to New Orleans and spent time with Cousin Victor and met his son and his family.  Once again, I won’t name them.

 But I will say that Cousin Victor’s son died late last year.  He and I kept in touch over the years as I sent him updates on my family discoveries.  When my daughter went through a pregnancy crisis, he was so supportive as his daughter had gone through a similar crisis several years previously.  He spent hours on the phone with me one day helping me sort through all the emotions this caused.  I always enjoyed my contact with him.  And I will miss him.  We often would say how much our dads and grandmothers would like knowing that we continue to keep in touch.

Aunt Minnie and my Grandma Esther are forever entwined in my mind and in my heart.

Sisters: Grandma Esther and Aunt Minnie

https://zicharonot.com/2015/10/10/12-delancey-street-and-my-family/

https://zicharonot.com/2017/11/16/too-many-esthers/

https://zicharonot.com/2024/02/25/uncle-sammy-presents-a-surprise/

Baby Jacob is Found

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An Unexpected ‘Grave’ Mystery

3 Mar

With the uptick in anti-Semitic events, with masked college students attacking Jewish students at colleges, with a Hamas murderous pogrom in Israel, I am still amazed when events from the Shoah are revealed in present day. I feel like I am in a time warp.  Reading about the events at the UC Berkley campus and at the same time reading an email from a distant cousin telling me about a mass grave found in Poland that contains members of my extended family.  Don’t college students learn anything about history? 

My newest journey started with a email from a distant cousin concerning the Holocaust and my family. I get unusual requests now and then because I have been the family historian, trying to document all the family who were murdered during the Shoah.  A task I realize is virtually impossible with all large number of people in my family who were murdered. 

My distant cousin received a letter through JewishGen’s Family Finder.  Her great aunt, who I keep in contact with, suggested she send the email to me.

Her email contained a series of emails between two people in Europe that forced my brain back in time to all that my maternal family had suffered so many decades ago during the horrors of the Shoah.

The first was from a retired baker in London who had been contacted by a researcher who wanted information about a family named Brenner who were murdered by the Nazis and whose bones were recently found in a mass grave and in accordance with state law were re-interred in a Catholic cemetery.

His mother was born Kornbluth and her father was born in Mielec, Poland, where many Kornbluth’s were living when the Nazis invaded. They believed the bones were those of a woman whose maiden name was Kornbluth; her married name was Brenner.

My family was from Mielec and its surrounding small towns.  I have written about the destruction of the Jewish population in this city and its surrounding in other blogs.  Brenner is one of the names in my family. Which made me think that I could have a connection with this grave.  Although the last name Kornbluth is familiar, I wasn’t entirely sure of the connection to us.  But I kept reading.

The baker then include emails from a representative of the Zapomniane Foundation that deals with locating and commemorating the graves of the Holocaust victims. He found the baker through JewishGen Family Finder.



“I represent the Zapomniane Foundation that deals with locating and commemorating the graves of the Holocaust victims (zapomniane.org or our profile on FB). I’m currently researching the case of the Brenner family murdered in 1942 and buried in a mass grave near Mielec. According to what I have learned so far among the victims probably were Lazar and Sara Brenner. Her maiden name was Kornbluth. Before the war they lived in a village called Hyki (today it is called Sarnow). They were killed together with their children and Sara’s brother. Would you happen to know this story and/or have any information about Sara Brenner nee Kornbluth?

Sincerely
A N”

Then came more information from the Zapomniane Foundation:
“ Here is the story of how I have learned about the Brenner family:

Two years ago I went to Czajkowa (a village near Mielec) to see the location of a place where the Brenner family (seven people) was killed and buried in August 1942.My guide was Robert P. who told me the story of his aunt Anna P. Anna’s real name was Ryfka Amsterdam she was Jewish, converted to catholicism before the war and married Andrzej P, Robert’s relative and became Anna P. The Brenner family were the relatives of Anna/Ryfka: perhaps Ryfka’s sister with husband and children and possibly Ryfka’s (and Sara’s?)brother. There are no names, only the last name of the father of the family i.e Brenner.”

Well now we are getting closer to my family, since Amsterdam is my grandfather’s last name. I know that any one named Amsterdam is definitely somehow related to me. This is the first time ever that I have heard about a family member who converted to Catholicism before the war.  But to be honest, if someone left the family to marry outside of the faith, it was probably not discussed. 

What the email says next really touched my soul! I could not image how this young man would have felt when he dug up the grave.


“The gravesite of the Brenner family was partially destroyed in 2003 by an excavator. Obviously the grave itself has never been marked, it was just a hole in the ground.  As a result the bones from this grave were taken by the police and buried in an anonymous grave in Tuszów Narodowy catholic cemetery. Ironically the guy who worked with the excavator and dug out the bones was the grandson of Ryfka Amsterdam/Anna P. He was interrogated by the police in 2003. Anna/Ryfka had three children, her son born in 1950 is still living in Mielec.”

Next shock!  A non-Jewish descendant of Rikva/Anna born just a few years before me, still lives in Mielec.  They stayed there even after all her Jewish relatives were murdered. I cannot understand that reality. Could you comfortably walk the streets of a city, see the houses of your relatives, know that they were murdered and that others were living in their homes?  Would you ever feel safe?

Not only that, it was Anna’s grandson who accidentally dug up the grave of people who might be his great aunt and uncle and their children, his cousins.  I could almost see this as a movie.  Could this truly be happening?  But yes, it was and it is.  So now he has not only dug up a grave 80 years after they were buried, but it is his family buried there.  I really have no words.

The researcher  continued:

“I found the information about Chaim Brenner via the Holocaust Survivor Program. Thus I knew the names of his parents and their fate that fits the story I know from the Polish archives:

Czajkowa
Aug. 15, 1942
Captured and shot by German police, beginning w/ oldest family member; gendarme Franiszek Wojtas identified as likely shooter; family did not report to ghetto and remained in hiding for approx. 3 mos.; hid in forest and empty home of Kamuda; group consisted of two families; relatives of prewar converts to Christianity, Amsterdams, who survived war in same village

So my big questions are who was buried in the grave destroyed by the excavator 20 years ago and how can we commemorate them.”


The retired baker then tells my cousin that he contacted her because she has a Nathan Amsterdam in her family tree who told Yad VaShem about the death of a niece with the maiden name of Kornbluth. Could she help? Which is how I became part of this Nazi murder/grave mystery.

I knew I really could not help, but I felt like I had to say something I emailed both the baker and the Zapomniane Foundation.  Here is a shortened version of the email I sent.

Your question about the grave and the Brenner/Amsterdam/Kornbluth murders, was sent to me as I have become an Amsterdam family researcher for a while now.

She knew I would be interested in this question.

Unfortunately, I do not know who was buried in the unmarked grave.  Not much help I know. But I can tell you that there are many named Nathan Amsterdam in our family.  My cousin’s great grandfather and my grandfather were both were named Nathan Amsterdam and they were cousins who were born in Austria/Poland in the Mielec area.

The family in Meilec and the surrounding area had four main family names: Amsterdam, Feuer, Brenner and Hollander. The family is Cohanim. Hence the names Feuer/ FIre and Brenner/ Burner. The other names came because the family did go from Spain to Portugal to Amsterdam and then a group moved to Austria/Poland. There was much intermarriage between people with these four surnames.

Almost the entire family who remained in Europe died during the Shoah. Mielec was one of the first areas that the Nazis made judenfrei. Only a few cousins survived. They are all gone now.  One moved to the USA, two went to England and two moved to Israel.

Here is the info on the family that survived and moved to England. Perhaps you might find a descendant. I met them in the early 1960s when they came to the USA to visit the family here.

Zacheriah and Elka had seven children.  Only three survived the Shoah.  Gimple Feuer married and moved to England.  They had four children.  (I then named the four children who they might be able to reach. I am not publishing their names here as they might still be alive.)

Lazar Feuer also lived in England after the war, I never met him.  He had three children: (I named these three as well.)

I am sorry I cannot tell you or the researcher there who exactly is buried in that grave.  But I can tell you that several hundred members of the family were murdered in the Shoah in many different places and methods.  But as the names were Brenner and Amsterdam, I can tell you that they are my distant relatives and that the men were probably Cohanim.”

Because I think finding a way to commemoriate these people is important, I am posting this on Tracing the Tribe Facebook page to see if anyone else has a connection that could help.

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Uncle Sammy Presents A Surprise!!

25 Feb

Of my paternal grandmother’s two brothers, I must admit I liked Uncle Sammy more. He was always jovial and happy.  But he also had a bit of scandal attached to him.  Whenever he was around or came to family events, my grandma would get a bit agitated, waiting for something to happen.

I know she was not great friends with his wife, who I always assumed was his second wife.  I even wrote about her a previous blog. (See blog below.).  But Uncle Sammy always had a smile.  He was the youngest sibling and just seemed the most relaxed. Being around him made me happy.  But then I also loved my great uncle Lenny, who taught me how to bet on the horses. (See blog below)

Uncle Sammy worked as a bus driver from the Port Authority in New York City.   I actually remember one time waiting for a bus with my Mom at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, a giant bus hub in Manhattan, when I actually saw my great Uncle.  It was such a surprise.  He beeped his horn and stopped his bus for a moment and to say hello to us. I was so excited!

I vaguely remember that he eventually became a supervisor at the Port Authority.  But, although I can find a docuent stating he was a bus driver, I have been unable tto confirm the promotion. When I ask my older cousins, they do not remember much about him at all. I might have been the only fascinated by him.

My Uncle Sammy died young, in his early 60s.  I do not know the exact date, but I was probably 13 or 14. So around 1968 – 1969.

I knew he was married at least two times.  He married his first wife, Adele, in 1932, when he was in his 20s.  They had one daughter, Vesta.  (Thanks to her unusual name, it is easy to find him!)  I never knew Adele, although I did meet Vesta once or twice.  She was 20 years older than me.  When I knew Uncle Sammy, he was married to Sylvia, who I assumed was his second wife.

But my view of Uncle Sammy changed just a little while searching for my Grandmother’s young brother who died as a toddler.  (See blog below.).  While searching for Jacob, EW (my distant cousin and excellent researcher) found a startling fact about Uncle Sammy.  It seems he had a third wife!!! 

When he was 43 years old, in the 1950 census, he had a wife named Gloria who was 14 years younger, jsut 29.  His then 16-year-old daughter was living with them.   But this  entry in the 1950 census is important because it confirms that he was a bus driver.

I have not been able to find any other documents about Uncle Sammy, not his death certificate or where he is buried.  Although I do know that his widow Sylvia remained in Kew Gardens after he died.  She stayed in touch with our family and came to family events.

EW did find one more item for me.  Uncle Sammy’s daughter, Vesta Jean got married in 1969. He told me that she is listed as Vesta Goldman on her marriage license   But as you can see here, in the announcements she took her stepfather’s last name, Saltzman. 

I think Uncle Sammy had passed away by then.  Because I cannot imagine she would have written her dad out of her marriage if he was still alive. But I do not know for sure, as here it says that she was married by a Reverend. And marrying someone who was not Jewish might have been an issue, because I never knew that Vesta had married.  And I do not think anyone in the Goldman family went to the wedding. As far as I know, Vesta and her husband Clifford, did not have children. 

I hope I can one day find where Uncle Sammy is buried. With the name Samuel Goldman, he is difficult to find. There were many Samuel Goldmans in New York City. EW checked the Bialystoker lists, as other members of my family are listed there. But no luck. With this blog I hope to keep Uncle Sammy’s memory alive for our family.

Grandma Thelma Knows What She Knows

https://zicharonot.com/2015/02/18/the-littlest-gambler-learning-about-horse-races-in-the-catskills/

https://zicharonot.com/2024/01/12/baby-jacob-is-found/

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Grace and Civility Seem To Be On Sabbatical

19 Feb

Before I even begin this commentary, I need to make sure everyone understands the definitions of Civility and Grace.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:  Civility “is civilized conduct, especially: Courtesy, Politeness; A polite act or expression”; Grace, is define in many ways, but the two important here are: “is a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy or clemency; a sense of propriety or right/ the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.”

When I was growing up, my mother would tell me that you are more likely to get what you want by using honey, than by using vinegar.  Her meaning was that when you treat other people well, they in turn would usually treat you well.  I have used this philosophy throughout my life. I try to be kind and to treat all those that I meet during the day the way I want to be treated. 

I have to admit, I have been exposed to many instances where I am frustrated and annoyed… especially in airports, but I always treat others, including the customer services representatives and the flight attendants with respect.  Whatever my issue is, was not their fault.  And I have found over the years, that they treat me kindly in return.  I have seen many adult melt downs that were so inappropriate: yelling, threatening, with no sense of civility or grace to the people who are trying to do their job. I find it offensive and concerning. 

The lack of civility and grace are obvious in many places now.  And many times we now see people resorting to shooting someone when things do not go their way. Each day we hear of more mass shootings. The one in Kansas City hit close to home. I knew many families who were celebrating the Cheif’s Super Bowl victory at Union Station.

But why? Is it impatience? Have people lost the ability to take the time to speak to each other? Is it refusal to follow the rules of society? Is it a feeling of superiority? Is it social media, with its impersonal way of spreading hate? What makes someone feel that they can treat someone with disrespect? Or just shoot them? I am not sure. But I am beginning to think that two events lead to the increased an inability to act with kindness.

My first issue has to do with politicians and negative campaigns. Wow, have they become nasty or what?  When I was a young adult, I saw campaign ads that usually focused on what the candidate would do for me and the country.  They would stress the differences between themselves and the opposition. But there was never the out and out nastiness that we see now.  Many claim the investigation into a candidate’s secrets started with Gary Hart. But that seems primitive to what we see in campaigns now.

An example: I decided that I would watch every Republican primary debate this fall, 2023. And I did.  It was difficult at times with all the screaming, accusations and just out right nasty comments all around.  When did this type of behavior, horrifyingly infantile, begin in debates.  I think we all know who started that…the one candidate who did not even come to this fall’s Republican debates.  But there were several candidates who seemed to believe that aping this behavior would help them.  I guess not, since they all dropped out. Leaving the lone woman continuing on to face the onslaught of nasty and negative comments.

The second issue concerns the onset of the COVID Pandemic and the attacks on masks and vaccines. 

What is the problem here?  Masks hurt no one.  Doctors, I am married to one, often wear masks.  Surgeons wear them for hours at a time, as do surgical nurses.  When a patient has an infectious disease, doctors and nurses often wear protective gear.  But suddenly the request for people to wear masks to protect themselves and others became tribal warfare.  There was no civility and no grace for anyone.  If you wear or do not wear a mask you were choosing a team, instead of trying to stay alive and save others. The existence of a killer virus itself came in question.

And then there was the warfare over vaccines. I actually know a little of what the members of the FDA committee went through.  My husband serves on the committee.  My husband, along with others, received thousands of emails and letters and faxes asking that they do not vote to approve vaccines.  Most were form letters accusing the doctors of crimes against humanity and threats of legal action under the Nuremberg Laws.  Oy Vey.  Some notes were not mean just fearful.  While other notes were outright nasty.  Not threatening, that would get them in trouble. But just really nasty. The majority of these nasty ones had no return address. How do I know?  He brought the letters home and I opened them, making three piles: form letters;  hate/nasty mail; fearful. 

Why the hate?  These men and women were doing a difficult job.  Reading everything they could about the vaccines and how well they would work. Trying to save lives.  But instead, they were vilified by many.  In the long run, the decisions were made.  Millions of people have survived thanks to the miracle of the vaccines that the CDC and others helped to develop and the FDA’s investigations and discussions and votes to use them. They continued their work despite the hate, because they had an underlying desire to do good.

What happened next is apparent. When we could leave our homes, people seemed to believe that rules that govern did not apply to them. Many seem to think that if they did not conform to masks and vaccines, they did not have to follow any rules.  While others  who did wear masks and had vaccines were strident in their opposition to the others. Tribal warefare? Along with these came an increase in gun violence. It is so out of control.

I am like many who are dreading this next political season and the campaigns for president, representatives and senators. I can already imagine the ugly campaign ads.  I am already feeling disgusted. I am also worried about the threats of violence.

Our politicians need to stop feeding the frenzy of discourtesy and hate for the other.  Let’s instead focus on what you plan to do for our country. Let’s focus on unity.  Let’s focus on the being kind and not anti-Semitic, anti-refugee, ant-LGBTQI, anti-woman’s health care, or racist. Let’s find a way to end the rampage of gun violence we have all experienced. Instead, why cannot we focus on finding ways to work together. Finding areas where we can agree. There is so much good that could be accomplished.

Let’s give each other grace and civility.  We would all get more joy from life if we treat each other with kindness and respect.  Let’s end the unfortunate sabbatical of good behavior.

There is a saying that is now posted at many schools: Jennifer Dukes Lee: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

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Baby Jacob is Found

12 Jan

I recently expanded my spiritual care volunteering to include women who have lost a pregnancy or an infant.  (See blog below.). While I was taking seminars and webinars to learn about my new role, I was reminded that my grandmother always mentioned her brother Jacob, who died when he was a child, whenever she listed off her siblings.  She always told me that she was one of five; four living and one who died.

I always assumed that Jacob, who had been named for his paternal grandfather, Yankel, my great great grandfather, had died as a young boy.  Old enough for my grandmother to remember him.   I did not know how Jacob died or how old he was when he died.  My grandmother spoke about him as if she knew him.  So I figure he was a child of 5 or 6 when he passed. 

Now I know she did not know him at all. That the memory she had of him came from her mother, my great grandmother. I can imagine that whenever someone asked her how many children she had, she always remembered and counted Jacob. How could a mother forget her own child? I know now that you never forget the pain of losing a loved one, especially a child. What you can do is to learn to live with it and move forward while remembering.

Jacob has been on my mind lately.  So recently, when my distant cousin, Evan W., who is the best genealogy researcher I know started texting documents one day, I realized I could find out what happened.  Or rather Evan could.  I asked if he was again at the Mormon Center doing research.  He was.  That was fortuitous for me.  I told him about Jacob.  Honestly, within minutes I had my answer. I was stunned.  And when I looked at the dates on the death certificate, I realized I was looking at documents registered almost exactly 126 years ago.

(Once again thank you to Evan and to Tracing The Tribe group that has helped me so much over the years with my mysteries.)

Evan found first that In the 1900 census the family can be found living in the same apartment building as one of my great grandmother’s sister and her family.  Louis and Ray have two living children, two girls one born in 1895 and one in 1898 (my grandmother.). But it also indicated that she had three children, only two living. 

Jacob died when he was just over one year old on January 2, 1898, at 4 pm in the afternoon, with the document registered on January 3 (or 8). He was acutely ill for four days, with the doctor making house calls from December 30 until Jacob died on the second.

I cannot imagine starting a new year with the death of a son.   She must have been devasted.  I can imagine that her sister, who lived in the same building, was there for her.  Jacob’s older sister, my great aunt, was only about 18 months old. My grandmother was not even born when he died.  In fact, she was born 11 months later in November 0f 1898.  So I know for sure she was not remembering him at all.  She was repeating what her mother always said. “I have five children, four living and one, Jacob, who passed away.”

The death certificate states that the cause of death was Simple Meningitis, but there was a contributing factor. Poor Jacob had hydrocephalus.  This is a condition of extra cerebrospinal fluid on the brain.  Now a baby who has this gets a shunt put in that releases the fluid, so that the child survives.

In fact on KidsHealth website it says: “Children often have a full life span if hydrocephalus is caught early and treated. Infants who undergo surgical treatment to reduce the excess fluid in the brain and survive to age 1 will not have a shortened life expectancy due to hydrocephalus.”

But for Jacob this was not an option.  His short life was probably difficult for all as the fluids put pressure on his skull and brain.  My husband, who is a pediatrician, said that meningitis is common with those who have hydrocephalus.  I can imagine the toll his condition had on the family.  I assume that his parents knew that he would not live a long life.  Jacob was unfortunately doomed to die. 

My great grandmother had three children after Jacob died, my grandmother and two more sons.  These four children really grew up not knowing Jacob at all.  But their mother kept his memory alive.   Jacob is buried at Washington Cemetery in New York, where my great grandparents are buried.  I am hoping to find his grave. Although Evan told me that often babies had no stones.

My great grandparents married on January 28, 1894.  I am writing this blog in memory of their 130th wedding anniversary, and the loss they had right before their fourth anniversary in 1898, when Jacob died. By writing this memory I hope that I am continuing my great grandmother’s wish to keep his memory alive.

Expanding my Spiritual Care Volunteer Work

https://kidshealth.org/

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Social Media Must Stop Jew Hatred

10 Jan

I am so frustrated with Meta’s policies concerning anti-Semitism and attacks on Jews, Israel, Zionism, Judaism, etc.   I realize that we are just 16 million people in the world. Truly a minority. Truly without much of a voice on social media when you consider the total population of the world.

So I was extremely aggravated when I read that Senator Elizabeth Warren wrote a letter to Meta saying that the rights of Palestinians to voice their concerns have been suppressed:

“Reports of Meta’s suppression of Palestinian voices raise serious questions about Meta’s content moderation practices and anti-discrimination protections,” Senator Warren continued. “Social media users deserve to know when and why their accounts and posts are restricted, particularly on the largest platforms where vital information-sharing occurs. Users also deserve protection against discrimination based on their national origin, religion, and other protected characteristics.” (Warren.senate.gov.)

Personally, I do not want anyone’s rights to be abused. But what disgusts me about her letter is that it was totally one sided. Nowhere in her letter, that I have been able to see, does she mention the horrible anti-Semetic and anti-Israel, actually just outright Jew Hatred attacks on social media.  Nowhere does she acknowledge that many of these attacks are in Arabic or come from Palestinian areas.

So once again we have a double standard. I agree with her sentiment that users of social medial must be protected. But that means all users, including all the Jewish users.  Elizabeth Warren had the opportunity to demand that social media must be better for  both groups.  Instead she chose to focus only on one side and totally ignore the hate that Jewish users are facing.

It is as if she said, ‘Hey, let’s protect the rights of the 1.7 billion and all others in Moslems and Palestinians. But let us not protect the rights of the 16 million Jews and Israelis.  Let us not mention what is happening to them on social media, which is in fact why meta changed the algorithms, to help filter out some of the hate and violence against Jews and Israelis that is all over social media.

I am not saying this from a very personal level.  I have seen the hatred against Jews everywhere.

For the past three months I have been overwhelmed at times by the amount of pure hatred and threats and lies and disgusting comments about Jews or Israelis that are on Facebook. As a volunteer for CyberWell, I have reported many comments and cartoons on Meta social media platforms attacking Jewish people and Israelis.  My reporting feels as if it goes nowhere. And now Senator Warren wants Meta to ease up so more violence can be posted on social media.

Of the many reports I have sent in and then re-reported, only two have been officially taken down.   I have had multiple notifications that I can take my complaints to the oversight review board.  I have submitted five such comments to the review board. 

And I am not talking about little issues.  I am talking about veiled violence:
“Imagine a world without Zionism,” A reference to Oct 7, as “The Best Day Ever”; False information saying the IDF attacked the Nova concert; “Hamas was created and funding by Israel”; “Hitler was right.”  And these are the nicer ones that I reported. I will admit that two were so bad that Meta immediately took them down and told me that if I ever saw anything by these two people again, I should report them immediately.

No group deserved to be annihilated.  “Free Palestine from the River to the Sea,” IS a call for the destruction of all Jews in Israel.   Calling for the destruction of Israel is a threat.  Saying things like. “All J3w$ should die.”  Is not a joke.  Using letters and numbers and dollar signs should be recognized. Lies from Hamas and Hezbollah and Bots under the control of these terrorist groups should be recognized and kicked off Facebook. 

These inactions are hurting people.  College students are being terrorized on campus.  Terrorist and hate groups are using social media to emotionally and psychologically hurt people.   It is time that Meta stops this behavior.   I should not be reading an article from the New York Times and see hundreds of comments that are filled with hate and many times filled with lies.  Think of it, I have made many reports, and only two were removed!

So why didn’t Senator Warren make mention of any of these issues. Why didn’t she write that she understands that much of the hatred on social media is coming from Bots and comments from the Middle East and Palestinian areas.  I know that Terrorist groups have people purposely putting up hate.  But the rights of people who are being attacked also have to be protected. 

I believe that those who make constructive criticism without calling for the annihilation of Jews and Israel should be allowed.  I can handle that.  I also do not agree with everything Israeli government has done.

Meta can tell when song that is under copyright is used and delete it.  Meta should be able to recognize when lies and misinformation and disgusting cartoons are posted.  It must do better, be part of the solution, and stop any hatred from spreading.

At the same time it has to respect the rights of all people to have the right to express their opinion.  As long as their opinion does not include destruction of Israel and all of the Jews..

I wish Senator Warren has said emphasized that as well. Here is Senator Warren’s entire   letter.  As you can read, not once does she mention that Israel has been attacked both physically and on social media.  Not once, even when she writes about the restriction on live streaming, does she mention the horrendous live streaming during the attack on October 7 by the Hamas.: https://www.warren.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/Meta%20Letter.pdf

Once again, I have to say there is a major double standard here.  And Senator Warren’s letter is evidence of what the Jewish community in the United States is facing.

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Blankets Crocheted With Love Are Made With Intent

4 Jan

Recently my daughter told me that one of her friends asked that I write a blog about how I decide what I am going to crochet when I start a blanket.  No one has ever asked for a specific blog.  But I thought I would try. I hope this blog answers her questions.

Making each blanket is a process.  I NEVER want to make two blankets that are identical.  Sometimes I use a stitch I used before or a color combination. But because I like variety, I really try to innovate and improvise.

My action plan is simple. When I find out that someone is pregnant, I wait until about the fourth or fifth month, then I ask if they might like a baby blanket.   Some people do not want one.  And that is fine as well.

For those that answer yes, I ask if they have a color palette.  This is a difficult question.  Some have not yet found out if they are having a girl or a boy.  Some do not want to know. To those who don’t know or don’t want to know, I offer to either make a non-gender blanket focusing on yellows, light greens and/or whites, or to ask if they want me to wait until after the baby is born. 

Some tell me the colors but ask that I not let anyone else know the sex of the baby. I keep all baby news totally confidential.

Now I have to select the yarn.  I always use a cotton yarn.  My favorites are Sugar and Cream, which I can get at Joann’s or Michaels craft stores.  The other one is sold only at Michaels, Creme Cotton..  The color combinations determine the yarn in many cases.  One of the yarns only come in five or six colors.  The other yarn has a larger selection and variegated yarns.

Next step is the stitches.  I have three books of crochet stitches.  I will be honest that there are three or four stitch patterns that I really like to use. I sometimes mix two or three different stitch patterns in one blanket.  Other times, I try a new design if I am not in a rush.

First two blankets with Sugar’n Cream yarn.

I like to do color blocks and stripes.  Since I like geometric patterns that is what I usually do.  But I have made blankets with granny type squares or long strips sewn together. Occasionally I will make a fillet pattern.

I also try to match each blankets to the parent I know.  For one of my daughter’s friends I made a blanket in the colors of Italian ices/spumoni, because both the parents are Italian descent.  For another couple, whose husband was an architect, I tried to crochet the outline of a building with blue skies surrounding the top.

One mother was planning a room inspired by Star Wars and baby Yoda (Yes, I know that is not his name, I do watch the Mandalorian. But it was for a baby.).  I took out my graph paper and figured out how to make the design.  That one was extremely popular.  I will admit that I made a second one of similar colors for a former student of mine.  She desperately wanted it. But that was a one up!  I have also graphed out heart designs, cats, and Mickey Mouse silhouette.

For one lucky baby, whose mom is a big Chiefs and Royals fan, I made a special blanket to honor both teams. One half is gold, red and white, while the other side is blue, white and grey. 

Another mom wanted blues and tan. Since she lived near a beach I went for a beach theme. Here you can see both the yarn and the finished blanket.

One of my favorites was for a cousin’s grandson.  The mother wanted a gender neutral blanket.  I took all my scraps and made a rainbow blanket. I love that one.  There might be another rainbow blanket one day.

Another mother asked me to match the colors in a rug.  I added hearts to make it more childlike.

Sometimes I make a decision on the blanket not based on what the mother might want, but what I think they need.  One of my best friend’s daughter loves only black, grey and white. I was NOT going to make a blanket for a baby girl in those colors. Instead I made a yellow and orange cheerful blanket.  That girl is now a bright and cheerful 4-year-old. The blanket matches her personality.

My original plan was to make one blanket per family.  But I soon found out that some children grow extremely attached to their blankies.  It becomes their lovey.  So I have to make another one.  Also when the second child is a different gender, I make one specifically for that infant.  Some families do not want another blanket.  But I always ask.

One of the most important blankets I made was for a toddler going through chemotherapy.  I made a bright and cheerful blanket that I then added a giant heart.  When I gave it to her in the hospital, I told her it was me hugging her.  I later made her a yarn wig so that she could have long hair and be like Elsa from Frozen.

The most important aspect of my blankets and other miscellaneous items — scarves, coasters, cup holders, hats, doilies — is that every single one is made with love.  I feel like my love for each of these babies, children and adults is enmeshed in each stitch.  I hope that they know I am crocheting with love.

Crocheting Toddler Blankets Is Keeping Me Busy

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Big Black PickUp Trucks and SUVs Cause Me Angst

29 Dec

I think I have been reading too many murder mysteries about people being run off a winding narrow road high in the mountains of Colorado or Tennessee or Kentucky or California.  In these mysteries the offending car is always black and big.  Usually, it is a black pickup truck or some gigantic SUV.

Sometimes it is the victim being killed at the start of the novel.  Then later in the novel that same black car starts following the detective or other person who is starting to connect the dots and soon will identify the murderer.  The same car attempts to force them off the road as well.  But this time, the person is prepared and although the car might be pushed off the road, the hero/heroine survives.

The evil seems to be the car and not the driver inside, even though I know that the car has no soul. I have become highly suspicious of large black pickup trucks and SUVs, especially Ford F-150s, Dodge RAMs and Cadillac Escalades.  Nothing against any of these car companies. But to be honest these trucks are big and scary, making me a bit paranoid when I see them.

Lately I have been noticing big black pickup trucks and SUVs everywhere. At the grocery store, in Costco parking lot, roaming the streets.  In my area, there are many, many black Ford 150 Pickup trucks. I am not imagining it.  There is a Ford plant in the Kansas City area that manufactures regular F-150s, as well as a larger commercial size F 150.  So, I do not think it is my imagination that these cars are everywhere around town.  Alongside them, the RAMs and Escalades also populate our streets.

My problem deals with my new obsessive behavior when I see one.  With my heightened feelings of angst with the war waging in Israel and the unprecedented rise in antisemitism, I get a feeling of dread whenever I see one of these ultra-gigantic trucks entering the driveway of my synagogue or the Jewish Community Center, or any of the other Jewish community buildings.

I think I transferred my fear of those who hate and commit acts of terror onto these black vehicles!

In my mind I hear the police officer who came to teach us about safety saying “If you see something, say something.”  Is seeing a large, black truck a reasonable reason to call the police or even to say anything? Last week one entered the synagogue parking lot as I left.  No, I did not call the police, but I did have a little twitch in my heart.

There are probably thousands of these vehicles in the metro area.  Heck, I even know people who own these mammoth. Honestly, I do realize this is a ridiculous fear …  I hope.

I am trying, when I see one, to lower my angst level.  I say to myself.: “Hey this is not a murder mystery or a thriller.  Lots of people own these. Calm down.”

No one is going to chase me down a mountain here!  Because we do not have winding, narrow mountainous roads in the Kansas City metro. I actually can only think of one such road along the river bluffs on the Missouri side, Cliff Drive.  It is closed to car traffic.  So I think I am safe.

What it really indicates to me is that the intense social media attacks on Jewish and Israeli people, Jew hatred apparent and emerging, as well as the media reports of these happenings, is causing me, among the many of the people I know, to have a bit more angst and fears, which leads me to look at things that use to be routine differently. I am constantly trying to determine if something is or is not a truly a threat. Hence the obsession with big black trucks.

Ten years ago a crazy hater drove to the Jewish community center and the Jewish elder care facility and shot and killed three people.  The irony is that in his effort to kill Jewish people, not one of the three people he murdered was Jewish. They were all Christian.  It was a tragedy that those who are Jewish and live in KC area will never forget.   So my fear is not without reason.  I will admit though, he was not driving a black truck. 

But you know, years ago, after the Oklahoma City bombing, I was afraid of yellow Ryder trucks.  I do not think I am the only one.  There are no longer any yellow Ryder trucks. The company was sold, and the name and color were changed.  In my mind, the bombing created the need for the change.

I do not think we will rid the world of black trucks.  People like them.  Murder mystery and spy novelists like them.  I am probably the only person who views them askance. But I do need to rid myself of the fear of big black trucks.  It is not the car who does the evil, it is the person inside the truck. 

What I need to do is to help to rid the world of hatred. That is the more important goal. We should not have to have the police guarding the buildings of the Jewish communities throughout the world.  We should not have to deal with swatting attacks on synagogues during Shabbat. We should not have to see people on the streets chanting for the elimination of the Jews on our city streets. We should not have the UN stay silent against the acts of Hamas and the rape of both women and men. 

I have hope.  If Kayne West, now known as Ye, can apologize in Hebrew on Instagram, maybe the tide is turning.  Perhaps in a few months I will be able to once again ignore large black vehicles driving alongside me.  Maybe my angst will dissipate. That would be a blessing.

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