Grace and Civility Seem To Be On Sabbatical

19 Feb

Before I even begin this commentary, I need to make sure everyone understands the definitions of Civility and Grace.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:  Civility “is civilized conduct, especially: Courtesy, Politeness; A polite act or expression”; Grace, is define in many ways, but the two important here are: “is a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy or clemency; a sense of propriety or right/ the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.”

When I was growing up, my mother would tell me that you are more likely to get what you want by using honey, than by using vinegar.  Her meaning was that when you treat other people well, they in turn would usually treat you well.  I have used this philosophy throughout my life. I try to be kind and to treat all those that I meet during the day the way I want to be treated. 

I have to admit, I have been exposed to many instances where I am frustrated and annoyed… especially in airports, but I always treat others, including the customer services representatives and the flight attendants with respect.  Whatever my issue is, was not their fault.  And I have found over the years, that they treat me kindly in return.  I have seen many adult melt downs that were so inappropriate: yelling, threatening, with no sense of civility or grace to the people who are trying to do their job. I find it offensive and concerning. 

The lack of civility and grace are obvious in many places now.  And many times we now see people resorting to shooting someone when things do not go their way. Each day we hear of more mass shootings. The one in Kansas City hit close to home. I knew many families who were celebrating the Cheif’s Super Bowl victory at Union Station.

But why? Is it impatience? Have people lost the ability to take the time to speak to each other? Is it refusal to follow the rules of society? Is it a feeling of superiority? Is it social media, with its impersonal way of spreading hate? What makes someone feel that they can treat someone with disrespect? Or just shoot them? I am not sure. But I am beginning to think that two events lead to the increased an inability to act with kindness.

My first issue has to do with politicians and negative campaigns. Wow, have they become nasty or what?  When I was a young adult, I saw campaign ads that usually focused on what the candidate would do for me and the country.  They would stress the differences between themselves and the opposition. But there was never the out and out nastiness that we see now.  Many claim the investigation into a candidate’s secrets started with Gary Hart. But that seems primitive to what we see in campaigns now.

An example: I decided that I would watch every Republican primary debate this fall, 2023. And I did.  It was difficult at times with all the screaming, accusations and just out right nasty comments all around.  When did this type of behavior, horrifyingly infantile, begin in debates.  I think we all know who started that…the one candidate who did not even come to this fall’s Republican debates.  But there were several candidates who seemed to believe that aping this behavior would help them.  I guess not, since they all dropped out. Leaving the lone woman continuing on to face the onslaught of nasty and negative comments.

The second issue concerns the onset of the COVID Pandemic and the attacks on masks and vaccines. 

What is the problem here?  Masks hurt no one.  Doctors, I am married to one, often wear masks.  Surgeons wear them for hours at a time, as do surgical nurses.  When a patient has an infectious disease, doctors and nurses often wear protective gear.  But suddenly the request for people to wear masks to protect themselves and others became tribal warfare.  There was no civility and no grace for anyone.  If you wear or do not wear a mask you were choosing a team, instead of trying to stay alive and save others. The existence of a killer virus itself came in question.

And then there was the warfare over vaccines. I actually know a little of what the members of the FDA committee went through.  My husband serves on the committee.  My husband, along with others, received thousands of emails and letters and faxes asking that they do not vote to approve vaccines.  Most were form letters accusing the doctors of crimes against humanity and threats of legal action under the Nuremberg Laws.  Oy Vey.  Some notes were not mean just fearful.  While other notes were outright nasty.  Not threatening, that would get them in trouble. But just really nasty. The majority of these nasty ones had no return address. How do I know?  He brought the letters home and I opened them, making three piles: form letters;  hate/nasty mail; fearful. 

Why the hate?  These men and women were doing a difficult job.  Reading everything they could about the vaccines and how well they would work. Trying to save lives.  But instead, they were vilified by many.  In the long run, the decisions were made.  Millions of people have survived thanks to the miracle of the vaccines that the CDC and others helped to develop and the FDA’s investigations and discussions and votes to use them. They continued their work despite the hate, because they had an underlying desire to do good.

What happened next is apparent. When we could leave our homes, people seemed to believe that rules that govern did not apply to them. Many seem to think that if they did not conform to masks and vaccines, they did not have to follow any rules.  While others  who did wear masks and had vaccines were strident in their opposition to the others. Tribal warefare? Along with these came an increase in gun violence. It is so out of control.

I am like many who are dreading this next political season and the campaigns for president, representatives and senators. I can already imagine the ugly campaign ads.  I am already feeling disgusted. I am also worried about the threats of violence.

Our politicians need to stop feeding the frenzy of discourtesy and hate for the other.  Let’s instead focus on what you plan to do for our country. Let’s focus on unity.  Let’s focus on the being kind and not anti-Semitic, anti-refugee, ant-LGBTQI, anti-woman’s health care, or racist. Let’s find a way to end the rampage of gun violence we have all experienced. Instead, why cannot we focus on finding ways to work together. Finding areas where we can agree. There is so much good that could be accomplished.

Let’s give each other grace and civility.  We would all get more joy from life if we treat each other with kindness and respect.  Let’s end the unfortunate sabbatical of good behavior.

There is a saying that is now posted at many schools: Jennifer Dukes Lee: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

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Baby Jacob is Found

12 Jan

I recently expanded my spiritual care volunteering to include women who have lost a pregnancy or an infant.  (See blog below.). While I was taking seminars and webinars to learn about my new role, I was reminded that my grandmother always mentioned her brother Jacob, who died when he was a child, whenever she listed off her siblings.  She always told me that she was one of five; four living and one who died.

I always assumed that Jacob, who had been named for his paternal grandfather, Yankel, my great great grandfather, had died as a young boy.  Old enough for my grandmother to remember him.   I did not know how Jacob died or how old he was when he died.  My grandmother spoke about him as if she knew him.  So I figure he was a child of 5 or 6 when he passed. 

Now I know she did not know him at all. That the memory she had of him came from her mother, my great grandmother. I can imagine that whenever someone asked her how many children she had, she always remembered and counted Jacob. How could a mother forget her own child? I know now that you never forget the pain of losing a loved one, especially a child. What you can do is to learn to live with it and move forward while remembering.

Jacob has been on my mind lately.  So recently, when my distant cousin, Evan W., who is the best genealogy researcher I know started texting documents one day, I realized I could find out what happened.  Or rather Evan could.  I asked if he was again at the Mormon Center doing research.  He was.  That was fortuitous for me.  I told him about Jacob.  Honestly, within minutes I had my answer. I was stunned.  And when I looked at the dates on the death certificate, I realized I was looking at documents registered almost exactly 126 years ago.

(Once again thank you to Evan and to Tracing The Tribe group that has helped me so much over the years with my mysteries.)

Evan found first that In the 1900 census the family can be found living in the same apartment building as one of my great grandmother’s sister and her family.  Louis and Ray have two living children, two girls one born in 1895 and one in 1898 (my grandmother.). But it also indicated that she had three children, only two living. 

Jacob died when he was just over one year old on January 2, 1898, at 4 pm in the afternoon, with the document registered on January 3 (or 8). He was acutely ill for four days, with the doctor making house calls from December 30 until Jacob died on the second.

I cannot imagine starting a new year with the death of a son.   She must have been devasted.  I can imagine that her sister, who lived in the same building, was there for her.  Jacob’s older sister, my great aunt, was only about 18 months old. My grandmother was not even born when he died.  In fact, she was born 11 months later in November 0f 1898.  So I know for sure she was not remembering him at all.  She was repeating what her mother always said. “I have five children, four living and one, Jacob, who passed away.”

The death certificate states that the cause of death was Simple Meningitis, but there was a contributing factor. Poor Jacob had hydrocephalus.  This is a condition of extra cerebrospinal fluid on the brain.  Now a baby who has this gets a shunt put in that releases the fluid, so that the child survives.

In fact on KidsHealth website it says: “Children often have a full life span if hydrocephalus is caught early and treated. Infants who undergo surgical treatment to reduce the excess fluid in the brain and survive to age 1 will not have a shortened life expectancy due to hydrocephalus.”

But for Jacob this was not an option.  His short life was probably difficult for all as the fluids put pressure on his skull and brain.  My husband, who is a pediatrician, said that meningitis is common with those who have hydrocephalus.  I can imagine the toll his condition had on the family.  I assume that his parents knew that he would not live a long life.  Jacob was unfortunately doomed to die. 

My great grandmother had three children after Jacob died, my grandmother and two more sons.  These four children really grew up not knowing Jacob at all.  But their mother kept his memory alive.   Jacob is buried at Washington Cemetery in New York, where my great grandparents are buried.  I am hoping to find his grave. Although Evan told me that often babies had no stones.

My great grandparents married on January 28, 1894.  I am writing this blog in memory of their 130th wedding anniversary, and the loss they had right before their fourth anniversary in 1898, when Jacob died. By writing this memory I hope that I am continuing my great grandmother’s wish to keep his memory alive.

Expanding my Spiritual Care Volunteer Work

https://kidshealth.org/

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Social Media Must Stop Jew Hatred

10 Jan

I am so frustrated with Meta’s policies concerning anti-Semitism and attacks on Jews, Israel, Zionism, Judaism, etc.   I realize that we are just 16 million people in the world. Truly a minority. Truly without much of a voice on social media when you consider the total population of the world.

So I was extremely aggravated when I read that Senator Elizabeth Warren wrote a letter to Meta saying that the rights of Palestinians to voice their concerns have been suppressed:

“Reports of Meta’s suppression of Palestinian voices raise serious questions about Meta’s content moderation practices and anti-discrimination protections,” Senator Warren continued. “Social media users deserve to know when and why their accounts and posts are restricted, particularly on the largest platforms where vital information-sharing occurs. Users also deserve protection against discrimination based on their national origin, religion, and other protected characteristics.” (Warren.senate.gov.)

Personally, I do not want anyone’s rights to be abused. But what disgusts me about her letter is that it was totally one sided. Nowhere in her letter, that I have been able to see, does she mention the horrible anti-Semetic and anti-Israel, actually just outright Jew Hatred attacks on social media.  Nowhere does she acknowledge that many of these attacks are in Arabic or come from Palestinian areas.

So once again we have a double standard. I agree with her sentiment that users of social medial must be protected. But that means all users, including all the Jewish users.  Elizabeth Warren had the opportunity to demand that social media must be better for  both groups.  Instead she chose to focus only on one side and totally ignore the hate that Jewish users are facing.

It is as if she said, ‘Hey, let’s protect the rights of the 1.7 billion and all others in Moslems and Palestinians. But let us not protect the rights of the 16 million Jews and Israelis.  Let us not mention what is happening to them on social media, which is in fact why meta changed the algorithms, to help filter out some of the hate and violence against Jews and Israelis that is all over social media.

I am not saying this from a very personal level.  I have seen the hatred against Jews everywhere.

For the past three months I have been overwhelmed at times by the amount of pure hatred and threats and lies and disgusting comments about Jews or Israelis that are on Facebook. As a volunteer for CyberWell, I have reported many comments and cartoons on Meta social media platforms attacking Jewish people and Israelis.  My reporting feels as if it goes nowhere. And now Senator Warren wants Meta to ease up so more violence can be posted on social media.

Of the many reports I have sent in and then re-reported, only two have been officially taken down.   I have had multiple notifications that I can take my complaints to the oversight review board.  I have submitted five such comments to the review board. 

And I am not talking about little issues.  I am talking about veiled violence:
“Imagine a world without Zionism,” A reference to Oct 7, as “The Best Day Ever”; False information saying the IDF attacked the Nova concert; “Hamas was created and funding by Israel”; “Hitler was right.”  And these are the nicer ones that I reported. I will admit that two were so bad that Meta immediately took them down and told me that if I ever saw anything by these two people again, I should report them immediately.

No group deserved to be annihilated.  “Free Palestine from the River to the Sea,” IS a call for the destruction of all Jews in Israel.   Calling for the destruction of Israel is a threat.  Saying things like. “All J3w$ should die.”  Is not a joke.  Using letters and numbers and dollar signs should be recognized. Lies from Hamas and Hezbollah and Bots under the control of these terrorist groups should be recognized and kicked off Facebook. 

These inactions are hurting people.  College students are being terrorized on campus.  Terrorist and hate groups are using social media to emotionally and psychologically hurt people.   It is time that Meta stops this behavior.   I should not be reading an article from the New York Times and see hundreds of comments that are filled with hate and many times filled with lies.  Think of it, I have made many reports, and only two were removed!

So why didn’t Senator Warren make mention of any of these issues. Why didn’t she write that she understands that much of the hatred on social media is coming from Bots and comments from the Middle East and Palestinian areas.  I know that Terrorist groups have people purposely putting up hate.  But the rights of people who are being attacked also have to be protected. 

I believe that those who make constructive criticism without calling for the annihilation of Jews and Israel should be allowed.  I can handle that.  I also do not agree with everything Israeli government has done.

Meta can tell when song that is under copyright is used and delete it.  Meta should be able to recognize when lies and misinformation and disgusting cartoons are posted.  It must do better, be part of the solution, and stop any hatred from spreading.

At the same time it has to respect the rights of all people to have the right to express their opinion.  As long as their opinion does not include destruction of Israel and all of the Jews..

I wish Senator Warren has said emphasized that as well. Here is Senator Warren’s entire   letter.  As you can read, not once does she mention that Israel has been attacked both physically and on social media.  Not once, even when she writes about the restriction on live streaming, does she mention the horrendous live streaming during the attack on October 7 by the Hamas.: https://www.warren.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/Meta%20Letter.pdf

Once again, I have to say there is a major double standard here.  And Senator Warren’s letter is evidence of what the Jewish community in the United States is facing.

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Blankets Crocheted With Love Are Made With Intent

4 Jan

Recently my daughter told me that one of her friends asked that I write a blog about how I decide what I am going to crochet when I start a blanket.  No one has ever asked for a specific blog.  But I thought I would try. I hope this blog answers her questions.

Making each blanket is a process.  I NEVER want to make two blankets that are identical.  Sometimes I use a stitch I used before or a color combination. But because I like variety, I really try to innovate and improvise.

My action plan is simple. When I find out that someone is pregnant, I wait until about the fourth or fifth month, then I ask if they might like a baby blanket.   Some people do not want one.  And that is fine as well.

For those that answer yes, I ask if they have a color palette.  This is a difficult question.  Some have not yet found out if they are having a girl or a boy.  Some do not want to know. To those who don’t know or don’t want to know, I offer to either make a non-gender blanket focusing on yellows, light greens and/or whites, or to ask if they want me to wait until after the baby is born. 

Some tell me the colors but ask that I not let anyone else know the sex of the baby. I keep all baby news totally confidential.

Now I have to select the yarn.  I always use a cotton yarn.  My favorites are Sugar and Cream, which I can get at Joann’s or Michaels craft stores.  The other one is sold only at Michaels, Creme Cotton..  The color combinations determine the yarn in many cases.  One of the yarns only come in five or six colors.  The other yarn has a larger selection and variegated yarns.

Next step is the stitches.  I have three books of crochet stitches.  I will be honest that there are three or four stitch patterns that I really like to use. I sometimes mix two or three different stitch patterns in one blanket.  Other times, I try a new design if I am not in a rush.

First two blankets with Sugar’n Cream yarn.

I like to do color blocks and stripes.  Since I like geometric patterns that is what I usually do.  But I have made blankets with granny type squares or long strips sewn together. Occasionally I will make a fillet pattern.

I also try to match each blankets to the parent I know.  For one of my daughter’s friends I made a blanket in the colors of Italian ices/spumoni, because both the parents are Italian descent.  For another couple, whose husband was an architect, I tried to crochet the outline of a building with blue skies surrounding the top.

One mother was planning a room inspired by Star Wars and baby Yoda (Yes, I know that is not his name, I do watch the Mandalorian. But it was for a baby.).  I took out my graph paper and figured out how to make the design.  That one was extremely popular.  I will admit that I made a second one of similar colors for a former student of mine.  She desperately wanted it. But that was a one up!  I have also graphed out heart designs, cats, and Mickey Mouse silhouette.

For one lucky baby, whose mom is a big Chiefs and Royals fan, I made a special blanket to honor both teams. One half is gold, red and white, while the other side is blue, white and grey. 

Another mom wanted blues and tan. Since she lived near a beach I went for a beach theme. Here you can see both the yarn and the finished blanket.

One of my favorites was for a cousin’s grandson.  The mother wanted a gender neutral blanket.  I took all my scraps and made a rainbow blanket. I love that one.  There might be another rainbow blanket one day.

Another mother asked me to match the colors in a rug.  I added hearts to make it more childlike.

Sometimes I make a decision on the blanket not based on what the mother might want, but what I think they need.  One of my best friend’s daughter loves only black, grey and white. I was NOT going to make a blanket for a baby girl in those colors. Instead I made a yellow and orange cheerful blanket.  That girl is now a bright and cheerful 4-year-old. The blanket matches her personality.

My original plan was to make one blanket per family.  But I soon found out that some children grow extremely attached to their blankies.  It becomes their lovey.  So I have to make another one.  Also when the second child is a different gender, I make one specifically for that infant.  Some families do not want another blanket.  But I always ask.

One of the most important blankets I made was for a toddler going through chemotherapy.  I made a bright and cheerful blanket that I then added a giant heart.  When I gave it to her in the hospital, I told her it was me hugging her.  I later made her a yarn wig so that she could have long hair and be like Elsa from Frozen.

The most important aspect of my blankets and other miscellaneous items — scarves, coasters, cup holders, hats, doilies — is that every single one is made with love.  I feel like my love for each of these babies, children and adults is enmeshed in each stitch.  I hope that they know I am crocheting with love.

Crocheting Toddler Blankets Is Keeping Me Busy

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Big Black PickUp Trucks and SUVs Cause Me Angst

29 Dec

I think I have been reading too many murder mysteries about people being run off a winding narrow road high in the mountains of Colorado or Tennessee or Kentucky or California.  In these mysteries the offending car is always black and big.  Usually, it is a black pickup truck or some gigantic SUV.

Sometimes it is the victim being killed at the start of the novel.  Then later in the novel that same black car starts following the detective or other person who is starting to connect the dots and soon will identify the murderer.  The same car attempts to force them off the road as well.  But this time, the person is prepared and although the car might be pushed off the road, the hero/heroine survives.

The evil seems to be the car and not the driver inside, even though I know that the car has no soul. I have become highly suspicious of large black pickup trucks and SUVs, especially Ford F-150s, Dodge RAMs and Cadillac Escalades.  Nothing against any of these car companies. But to be honest these trucks are big and scary, making me a bit paranoid when I see them.

Lately I have been noticing big black pickup trucks and SUVs everywhere. At the grocery store, in Costco parking lot, roaming the streets.  In my area, there are many, many black Ford 150 Pickup trucks. I am not imagining it.  There is a Ford plant in the Kansas City area that manufactures regular F-150s, as well as a larger commercial size F 150.  So, I do not think it is my imagination that these cars are everywhere around town.  Alongside them, the RAMs and Escalades also populate our streets.

My problem deals with my new obsessive behavior when I see one.  With my heightened feelings of angst with the war waging in Israel and the unprecedented rise in antisemitism, I get a feeling of dread whenever I see one of these ultra-gigantic trucks entering the driveway of my synagogue or the Jewish Community Center, or any of the other Jewish community buildings.

I think I transferred my fear of those who hate and commit acts of terror onto these black vehicles!

In my mind I hear the police officer who came to teach us about safety saying “If you see something, say something.”  Is seeing a large, black truck a reasonable reason to call the police or even to say anything? Last week one entered the synagogue parking lot as I left.  No, I did not call the police, but I did have a little twitch in my heart.

There are probably thousands of these vehicles in the metro area.  Heck, I even know people who own these mammoth. Honestly, I do realize this is a ridiculous fear …  I hope.

I am trying, when I see one, to lower my angst level.  I say to myself.: “Hey this is not a murder mystery or a thriller.  Lots of people own these. Calm down.”

No one is going to chase me down a mountain here!  Because we do not have winding, narrow mountainous roads in the Kansas City metro. I actually can only think of one such road along the river bluffs on the Missouri side, Cliff Drive.  It is closed to car traffic.  So I think I am safe.

What it really indicates to me is that the intense social media attacks on Jewish and Israeli people, Jew hatred apparent and emerging, as well as the media reports of these happenings, is causing me, among the many of the people I know, to have a bit more angst and fears, which leads me to look at things that use to be routine differently. I am constantly trying to determine if something is or is not a truly a threat. Hence the obsession with big black trucks.

Ten years ago a crazy hater drove to the Jewish community center and the Jewish elder care facility and shot and killed three people.  The irony is that in his effort to kill Jewish people, not one of the three people he murdered was Jewish. They were all Christian.  It was a tragedy that those who are Jewish and live in KC area will never forget.   So my fear is not without reason.  I will admit though, he was not driving a black truck. 

But you know, years ago, after the Oklahoma City bombing, I was afraid of yellow Ryder trucks.  I do not think I am the only one.  There are no longer any yellow Ryder trucks. The company was sold, and the name and color were changed.  In my mind, the bombing created the need for the change.

I do not think we will rid the world of black trucks.  People like them.  Murder mystery and spy novelists like them.  I am probably the only person who views them askance. But I do need to rid myself of the fear of big black trucks.  It is not the car who does the evil, it is the person inside the truck. 

What I need to do is to help to rid the world of hatred. That is the more important goal. We should not have to have the police guarding the buildings of the Jewish communities throughout the world.  We should not have to deal with swatting attacks on synagogues during Shabbat. We should not have to see people on the streets chanting for the elimination of the Jews on our city streets. We should not have the UN stay silent against the acts of Hamas and the rape of both women and men. 

I have hope.  If Kayne West, now known as Ye, can apologize in Hebrew on Instagram, maybe the tide is turning.  Perhaps in a few months I will be able to once again ignore large black vehicles driving alongside me.  Maybe my angst will dissipate. That would be a blessing.

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Illinois Holocaust Museum: A Response to Jew Hatred

12 Dec

During Covid, I tried to do as many activities that I could from the confines of my home.  I took online classes, I attended family life events, I even toured museums and their special exhibits.  One of the best ones I toured was the Ruth Bader Ginsburg exhibit at the Illinois Holocaust Museum located in Skokie, Illinois.  So when I knew my husband and I were going to Evanston, Illinois, for a wedding, I put visiting this museum in person at the top of my list.  It did not disappoint.

The museum opened in 2009.  It was a work in process for 40 years after the Skokie Jewish community was the object of a neo-Nazi group who decided to march through Skokie, a suburb of Chicago that is home to many Jewish residents.  The Jewish community started with a small space.  But their aim was to fight against anti-Semitism and hatred through education.  It looks like they are succeeding in their mission. 

The Illinois Holocaust Museum is worth the visit. It was designed by architect Stanley Tigerman. The building is made is to bring the visitor through the darkness of the Shoah and then back out to the light. As we went through the exhibit we could see this change. The entrance to the exhibit is dark and moody with narrow halls lined with photos, videos and memorabilia. But by the end, when we learned about the resistance and the survivors, the light increased.

While we were there on a Friday morning, there were four different school groups also going through the museum with docents.  Every so often the group would fill the space available, so we would stop to hear the discussion.  In this time of great turmoil and rise of Jew Hatred, seeing these students and their teachers learning about and basically experiencing what happened was important. 

There are many short films/videos and photographs throughout the museum that were taken by the Nazis during their killing spree as well as films taken after the war by survivors and rescuers. 

The films are difficult to watch.   I saw several students holding their hands and sweaters over their faces as they tried to block the view. I did not want to see it either, even though I have seen these images or ones like them many times.

But this time, I imagined the children on October 7 trying to block the view as they saw the terrorist of Hamas reenacting the hatred of the Nazis and they saw their loved ones murdered and waited for their own deaths.  It created harrowing moments for me.  I envisioned being held hostage by Hamas underground as if in a camp barracks waiting without food and little hope.

The Holocaust exhibit itself Is well thought out and takes you through all the stages of the Shoah.  The moment I saw the Krystal Nacht exhibit, which has a clear floor you walk over with shards of glass underneath, in front is the edifice of a synagogue with broken windows, I knew exactly what you will see next.  You can walk into a real cattle car from 1930s Europe.  It is an eerie feeling to be standing in that darkened wooden container and think about what it was like for those who were stuffed in and perished.  This is not a museum for someone who wants to avoid the past.  It puts it right into your vision.

After you weave your way through the seemingly endless horrors of the Shoah, you see a small exhibit about what happened when the Nazis came to Skokie.  It puts into ‘context’ what is happening now throughout the USA on college campuses and in some cities.  And I will say that calling for the annihilation and extermination of any people is always wrong. No matter what a college president says.

This is emphasized with the movie at the end that discusses both the genocide of the Jews and the continued times others have been targeted like the Tutsi people in Rwanda. We sat with two student groups as we watched the film.  It was not easy to watch as people testified about what happened to them during this more recent horror. Many of the students lowered their heads.  I think I spent as much time watching the students as I did watching the film.

After we finished the exhibit, we went to the Hologram theater where we spoke with the Hologram of Pinchas Gutter.  This is an excellent way to learn about the Shoah.  Those brave survivors who spent a week being interviewed and videoed while they told their story have created a way to keep the memory alive. 

The museum is not all gloom and depression.  There is the good of those who survived.  But also when we were there the special exhibit was about delis, “I’ll Have What She’s Having” The Jewish Deli.  It was a great way to wash away some of the somber emotions we were having after going through the Shoah. 

As a teenager and college student, I worked in a Jewish deli.  So for me this was especially joyful as I remember my time behind the counter making sandwiches, cutting lox, deboning white fish and making catering trays.  I would almost smell the corned beef, feel the texture of sable fish as I prepared some for a customer, and felt the smooth taste of a potato knish in my mouth.

It was good to end the visit on an upbeat note. But throughout it all I remembered that this museum was founded in response to Jew Hatred. Once again, we are experiencing a major rise Jew Hatred throughout the United States and the rest of the world. There are many who support us. However, when I look at college campuses, I know the work to end anti-semitism and Jew Hatred is far from done. What will be our response globally? In Skokie a museum was created. I am not sure it is enough.

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“I’ll Have What She’s Having”: The Jewish Deli

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Hokusai’s 36 Views of Mt. Fiji at The Bowers Museum

8 Dec

In November I was able to see Hokusai’s famous print, “The Great Wave” in person.  As someone who has loved Japanese art since childhood, this was a special moment. 

To be honest, I did not know I was going to see Hokusai’s work that day. My husband and I were in California for a meeting he was attendin.  I had the day free for my own pursuits, so I spent the day with cousins.  They recommended that we go to the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana, an plan that was wonderful to me, I love museums.

The main building is new, but it is attached to the original Spanish-style home that once belonged to the Bowers family.  You enter the museum through a lovely Courtyard that leads you into the museum.  Right at the front is the Tangata Restaurant where we ate lunch.  Delicious.  From the lovely entrance and delectable food, I knew this was going to be a great day.

I used to look at every single item in an exhibit, which would take me for hours.  But now, on the advice of a friend’s daughter who was a museum curator, I find one or two items per exhibit and focus on them.  So here are my favorites:

The original building is just stunning.  The parts we could see, wood ceilings, carved doors, stone fireplaces, added to the atmosphere.  In one room there was a display about some of the original settlers and members of the Bowers family featuring their possessions in the California Legacies exhibit.

I enjoyed the exhibit, “Gemstone and Carvings.” The crystal skull made us all think of the Indian Jones movie. As for the native American art, my favorite display was the Women’s Basketry Hats that was in the First Californias exhibit. Woven by the Yurok, Hupa and Karok women, these hats caught my eye.  I would actually wear one of them!

Finally, the special exhibit, “Beyond the Great Wave, Works by Hokusai from the British Museum.”  It is only at the museum through January 7, 2024, so go soon.  It is wonderful.

The exhibit follows Hokusai’s work throughout his life, leading up to the Great Wave and then beyond it.  Seeing all these wonderful wood block prints, and the skill it would take to create them, was exciting.  There is even a short video on how the wood blocks are made.

Seeing almost all the of prints from “36 Views of Mt. Fiji” and the one that has caught the attention of the world, I was surprised, honestly, about how small the prints were in size.  In my mind they must be enormous. Instead they are all small enough to fit into a portfolio.

I enjoyed seeing the prints he made at different stages in his life.  My favorites were the ones of scenes in Japan with people going about activities. They are extremely colorful.   But I focused my camera on the Great Wave and two other prints from the series. I decided I liked these especially,  because like the Great Wave, the main color was Prussian Blue, a color that I adore. 

We did not have time to go to all of the exhibits in the museum.  In reality you cannot see everything in a museum in one visit.  But for those visiting the Santa Ana area, a visit to the Bowers Museum is worthwhile.

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An Emotional Meeting With Magen David Adom Representatives

23 Nov

Earlier this month, I attended a medical meeting with my husband in California.  On Friday night, we attended a reception organized by Allergists For Israel, a non-profit founded in 1984 to promote ties between allergists/immunologists in the USA and Israel. This is a group event that we try to attend each year.

With the active war raging between Israel and Hamas, the reception to come together and welcome Shabbat with our Jewish and non-Jewish friends was more emotional than usual.  Many of us had family members who live in Israel.  Additionally, we had three guests at our meeting, the director of Major Gifts/Southwest, for Magen David Adom, and most importantly two Magen David Adom staff who had experienced the horror of October 7.

They were in the United States and Canada for one week. We were fortunate to meet them. Before their presentation, I spoke to them for a short time one on one, which helped my heart as I worry about my daughter and her husband in Israel.  But then they gave their presentation, and my heart was no longer soothed.

Remember, it was a Shabbat and a hag, a holiday, when the terror began.  These two people were in the mode of celebration and relaxation before being called in to help.

The woman is a paid employee, a dispatcher for Magen David Adom.  She spent 13 hours staffing the phones at the dispatch center in Jerusalem during the crisis.  Her tales of the phone conversations she had with people, who she could not promise she could help, were heart breaking.  Her inability to get help to where it was needed most, was devastating.  Many of those she spoke to were murdered by the terrorists.

The man who spoke to us is a volunteer ambulance driver.  He entered an armored ambulance and started what would become a 24-hour day driving back and forth to the south to try to save the injured.  Along the way he saw destroyed cars and ambulances, homes burning and the bodies of those who could no longer be saved.  He admitted that he realized this was not a safe place to be. But he had an important focus, and in this day of terror, he was able to save about 30 lives.

For all of us listening, both Jewish and not Jewish, both doctors and spouses, the emotional of it was almost too much.  I know that there were tears flowing from my eyes as he discussed a young Arab boy who watched his father be murdered as he, himself, was shot.  His uncle flagged down the ambulance, a bit afraid for himself, as he knew what was happening. The ambulance, driven by the man speaking to use stopped.  He told us he felt so badly for the boy. He could not take the uncle to be with the boy; he had to drive and could not be with the boy.  He could just stabilize him and get him to a hospital as soon as possible.  Amazingly the boy survived. 

I think that is an important point to understand.  Hamas did not care who they shot and killed and mutilated and terrorized. There were people from many countries who were impacted. There were people of five faiths who were brutalized or killed.  The terrorists desire to destroy was unleased and focused on killing everyone in sight and creating chaos and terror wherever they went. While the volunteers from Magen David Adom saved all they could who were injured. 

Besides the many who were murdered, even more were injured, some critically. They need medical care and blood.  Magen David Adom is helping.   I have made my donation to Magen David Adom through our Donor Advised Fund. You can also donate through the American Friends of Magen David Adom.  (See Link below.)

In this time of Thanksgiving, we need to be thankful for the Magen David Adom first responders who put their lives at risk to save others.  Let us thank them by supporting their important work.

Magen David Adom

https://www.allergists4israel.org/

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We Couldn’t Go To Israel: Road Trip To Madison, Wisconsin

20 Nov

Since my husband had over two weeks off for our trip to Israel that got cancelled due to terrorism and war, we had to keep moving or the anxiety would get to us.  Our first Road Trip lasted only three nights.  The second trip took six nights.

We have driven to Madison, Wisconsin, several times.  Always doing it in just one day.  But this time, I decided we needed to stop every now and then and just relax; so we did.

Day one:  On the road to Altoona, Iowa.  Why Altoona?  It is on the eastern outskirts of Des Moines.  And there was something to do.   On our wat to Altoona, we stopped at the Amish Store that is just across the border from Missouri to Iowa.  I love this store.  Jams, spices, seasonings, candy and cookies. All home-made and delicious.  We stopped for lunch and stocked up on gifts for our Madison hosts and for us. 

Next stop the hotel in Altoona.  My planning was excellent because across the street was a wonderful discount mall.  If it hadn’t been so cold and windy, we would have walked there.  Instead, we drove over and walked around this outdoor mall for a while helping the economy of Altoona.  We also found an Italian restaurant halfway between our hotel and the mall and ate dinner there. Yum.

Day two: On the road to Madison with a planned stop in Dubuque, the last stop in Iowa before Wisconsin.  We have driven through this Mississippi River town several times and always said we wanted to stop.  This time we did.  Our aim was to visit the National Mississippi River Museum and Aquarium.  Even though it was cold, and we had to walk outside between the two buildings, it was a great experience.  But I am sure it is even more wonderful if you have children. There is just so many activities for them.

We did not go to the main movie, but we did see all the aquariums and visited the displays.  One building holds the aquariums for the part of the Mississippi, the Gulf of Mexico, that enters the ocean. There were jelly fish, seahorses, an octopus, stingrays and other ocean animals.  The other building held the aquariums for river life: sea otters, turtles, snakes, fish.  I had never seen real paddlefish before.  They really do have a paddle on their snouts!

Our favorite exhibits were the Riverways History Gallery and the Innovation Currents Gallery. We also ate lunch there in a restaurant that overlooks the Mississippi and the outdoor displays.  If it was warmer, we might have spent more time outside because there was a lot to see there as well.

Two hours later we were on our way to Madison.

Days Three-Five: Being in Madison with our friends was great. We had a good time visiting and seeing some of the sites.  Our highlights was a tour of the State Capitol and the Chazen Museum of Art.

The Wisconsin state capitol building is really lovely. The building itself is over 100 years old. What makes it so amazing is that all branches of the state government still meet in the building. There are four magnificent rooms. One for the House of Representatives, one for the senate, one for the Supreme Court and one for hearings and meetings. Each room has a beautiful and large stain glass sky light that illuminates the room. Another lovely room is the senate’s private parlor.

There are free tours of the capitol each day. We were lucky in that we arrived at the capitol rotunda just a few minutes before the tour and we four were there only ones there allowing us to have the best private tour of the capitol that you would want.  Our tour guide, Mike, was excellent.  You could tell that he loved the building.  And there is so much to love.  Which you can see by the photos of the rooms.

Another day we went to the Chazen Museum of Art, which is on the University of Wisconsin’s campus. Although not a large museum, it was filled with amazing art. We were fortunate to see a special exhibit: Insistent Presence: Contemporary African Art, had several pieces that caught our attention. Petro Beads, with was a giant set of prayer beads made from old metal petro containers. The Throne of Languages made from old military devices was an eye opener.

In other blogs I have written about my love of the glass art of Dale Chihuly.  I really enjoyed seeing some of his early art work. He studied at the University of Wisconsin earned his MFA from the School of Education’s Art Department under Harvey Littleton, who was a well-known glass artist.  We saw a few pieces of his work as well.  I am sad to say I did not get to see The Mendota Wall at the Kohl’s Center. That will have to wait for another trip.

Day 6 and home:

It was going to be a long drive on highway 39 and 90 to the State Capitol of Illinois, Springfield. We had no plans to visit the capitol building there. Instead, our destination was the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. Before I discuss our visit to the Library, I must tell you that I wish had more time in Springfield. We were only there for a few hours and were totally focused on the library. But it has many other sites to visit. We will go back.

I love how this library is set up. There is a central Plaza area that all the different exhibits lead off from. It was so fun to explore. After walking through a front yard, you enter a replica of the Lincoln log cabin. As you exit the cabin from the other side, you enter a wonderful exhibit all about slavery and the Emancipation Proclamation. As you leave that exhibit, you are right in front of the entrance to the White House replica. There you walk through a room and enter an exhibit about politics in the time of Lincoln. I could not believe the horrible nasty political cartoons that made a mockery of Lincoln. It made me realize that ugliness in politics has been around for a long time.

We watched one of the two shows and walked through the Treasures Gallery where you can see some items own by the Lincolns as well as some important documents. 

We love our visit there, but as I said earlier, wished we had more time to visit some of the other Lincoln sites and to see the capitol.

When we left Springfield, we knew that our trip was almost over. We spent the night in St. Louis, my husband’s hometown and visited with family. Then the next morning we headed home. We went through five state: Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Wisconsin and Illinois.

My husband’s vacation is officially over. We have completed our road trips for the fall.  We look forward to the future when we can visit Israel in peace.

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A Mother’s Musings About Israel

15 Nov

This is my diary over the last five weeks of the Israel – Hamas War. There are many more, but I think these do the best to explain my feelings. I already wrote a blog about thanking the helpers. You can see links to this and another blog below.

October 7. 7:30 am

Just spoke to my daughter. They spent hours in their safe room. They are ok. But stressed and distressed. Many Israelis have been killed, hundreds injured, and dozens taken captive. Hamas terrorists surprise attack on the southern areas and bombing of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

Hamas and Hezbollah are evil attacking civilians, women, children, Jews and Bedouin. They really don’t care who they kill. This was not an attack on a military area. This was attack on innocents at parties, at home at play.

October 12:

United just cancelled our flight to Israel. Not unexpected. But disappointing for several reasons. First, we do not get to see my daughter and son in law and all the other family and friends we planned to visit. Second because United is even afraid to fly a week from now which increases my anxiety by many multiplication of numeric factors.

In the spirit of the recent high holidays, I say: I am angry, I am anxious, I am not sleeping, I am saddened, I am frustrated, I am frightened. I keep thinking of Yom Kippur and how it is inscribed on who will die and how. And I have a scream that is sitting at the bottom of my throat waiting to come out.

October 18:

At this very moment, 8:39 am, I should be landing in Israel at 4:39 pm. Instead I am home in Kansas.

There is nothing else to say except love and prayers for all my family and friends in Israel who I was hoping to visit.

Family update. They are fine. There has only been one rocket a day for a while. My daughter is extremely busy with her work at CyberWell trying to stem the horrible flow of anti-Israel, anti-Semitic and violence toward Jews content off social media. They had a training for volunteers to help identify some of this. If you would be interested in watching the 50-minute webinar and do something productive. Let Lara or me know. I personally have reported posts to the social media platforms and also to CyberWell. This makes a big difference. If everyone one reported one or two a day we can make a change!!!

October 20

I am thankful that he is president during this difficult time. His support for Israel, his fight against baseless hatred is just what we needed. When I visit my elders, many of whom remember the late 1930s and 1940s and are terrified, I can honestly say this is not the same. The president of the USA and many others in government are supporting us.

October 21

My comment today: Do you think the bombing from Gaza has stopped because all you hear in the news is that Israel is attacking Gaza. Have you heard that rockets are still speeding to Tel Aviv, Yafo, Holon, and Rishon LeZion as well as to the south. Many rockets every day. Today my daughter’s alert told of of the incoming all around her community. It is not over. Hamas is still attacking Israel. There is a reason why Hamas has to be eradicated from the world.

Do I feel badly that children are being hurt. Of course. But I am tired of hearing now that Gaza is without water or electricity. Israel has said, return the hostages and we will turn it back on. Give them back.

I am tired of people saying Israel should step down. You are not under the threat of a bomb landing on your home, you are not attending funerals for people you know or family members, you are not sending you son, daughter, spouse, brother, sister off to battle.

The news media is not only focus on what Israel might do. Giving the impression that in Israel it is peaceful. NO it is NOT. Not on the truth about what is happening. Those who live around Gaza have been evacuated. Those who live in the north are on voluntary evacuation.

Stand up for Israel and the impact of this crisis on the citizens. If you want to be angry, be angry at Hamas for what they did murdering 1400 innocent people in their homes; for knowing that what they would do would impact the innocent people of Gaza; for preparing and protecting themselves from the bombing but not the civilians of Gaza. Be angry at the other Moslem countries surrounding the area that want to escalate the war, be angry at Egypt and Jordan and other countries that refuse to help ease the crisis in Gaza.

This war is not what Israel wanted. This is a war that Hamas started and Hamas wanted. Israel is a tiny country surrounded by large land masses inhabited by Moslems. They have all they and they could want. But what many do want is the total annihilating of Israel.

All over the world people are attacking Jewish people who have nothing to do with Israel. So the people who Chant “Not in my Name” are playing into the work of Hamas and so are also guilty for any more attacks on Jews. It is opening a door for more killing and it is wrong. What they should be saying is return the hostages and stop attacking Israel.

October 23

The false news reports about the hospital bombing which was a failed rocket by Hamas leads to violence against Jews world wide. It is amazing, Hamas attacks Israel and kills 1400 people and wounds over 3000. Sends over 6400 rockets and bombs into Israel and in the U.S. and throughout the world people attack Jews. Attack the terrorists who started this. I am horrified by the hatred.

November 3

I pray each day for the conflict in Israel/Gaza to end. For the Hamas to release the prisoners/hostages and to surrender and face the consequences of their crimes. Hamas has continued to threatened Jews and Israel throughout this month and has continued to send rockets into Israel. They have built tunnels under neighborhoods, hospitals and schools. They have threatened and attacked Israeli communities for decades!

I wish there was an easier way to stop the terrorists then this bombing and siege of Gaza City. But the Hamas has stockpiled rockets and weapons, as well as food, water, oil and other supplies. They prepared for this assault on Israel and the return assault on them without caring about any civilians.

During the attack on Israel, Hamas terrorists cut the supply lines that bring water and electricity from Israel to Gaza. Life means nothing to them until they destroy all Jewish life in Israel.

It is time for the terror of Hamas and Hezbollah to end. For all to face the fact that Israel exists and will not disappear. So that all people in the region can live in peace and coexist, so that children will not suffer and innocent people die on either side.

But the increased actions of Jew Hatred that is now growing throughout the world, actually shows the double standard with which Israel and the Jewish communities face. Israel did not start this. On a holiday weekend, when people were sleeping in their beds, Hamas attacked, murdered, mutilated, took captive and wounded almost 6000 people. Over 1400 dead, 240 captive, over 4000 wounded. those killed were mostly Jewish, but many were Moslem and Beduion. Now in the USA there a large numbers that did not condemn Hamas. That is shocking!

No one wants war. Not in Ukraine; Not in Syria; Not in Sudan; Not in Israel; Not in Gaza. Every life has value: Jew, Christian, Moslem, Bahai, Druze, Shinto, Buddist, Hindu, all religions, ethnicities and races.

Shalom, Saalam, Paz, Paix, Friedan, Pace, Peace!

November  4

This is the message I sent to the International Red Cross:

So far only 4 hostages taken by Hamas have been released. One of the main roles of the Red Cross is to help free hostages throughout the world. I have supported the Red Cross for many years. But the unequal and biased work going on now where the hostages, infants, children, women, men, elderly, are ignored because most of them are Jewish is an affront to all what the red cross is supposed to stand for. SHAME ON YOU! Tell Hamas to release the hostages.

We went to a Havdalah service at Leawood City Hall. After the service we each held the photo of a hostage and then stood in silence for 241 seconds in honor of those held hostage by Hamas.

November 13

A relative’s friend asked me if I at all thought Israel was wrong. Here is my response and it is what I believe.

Define wrong. Is it wrong for Hamas to have come into Israel and murder innocents children, women, men, elderly in their homes on a holiday weekend? Is it wrong for Hamas to build their tunnels and shoot rockets off from hospitals and schools using the children and the sick as shields against others? IS it wrong for Hamas to take the funding and cement and fuel sent into Gaza for the people to continue to create and buy weapons and tunnels to attack Israel? Is it wrong for Hamas to keep the people of Gaza captive for years, because you should know that Israel left the Gaze over 15 years ago and withdrew all their people and turn everything over to the Palestinians who voted to put Hamas in power? Is is wrong that Egypt also has a border with Gaza, but they usually keep their border closed and supply little to no help to the people there? Is it wrong that the surrounding Arab countries have kept the people who fled Israel in refugee camps and refused to intergrate them into society, while forcing out an equal number of Jewish citizens who were integrated into Israel, the USA and other countries? Just asking you how you define wrong.

Israel told people to evacuate, Hamas would not let them. ISrael waited over a week to attack so that people could leave. Israel gave fuel. For weeks we have heard that the hospitals would run out of fuel, they did not. Israel repeatedly told the hospital to evacuate. They did not. They have caved to Hamas demands.

You believe everything Hamas says, even though throughout the world they know they are terrorist. The 27 EU countries have condemned Hamas and supported Israel.

So define who is wrong here. To me it is Hamas. ISreal had no intention of going to war on Hamas till Hamas killed and mutilated over 1200 people. And took 240 hostages. What happened after October 7 is on the hands of Hamas.

This would end if Hamas released the hostages and surrender. Why don’t you call for that instead of condemning Israel?

So who do I think is wrong? YOU and Hamas.

I hope that answers your question.

How This American Mother Whose Daughter Lives In Israel Is Feeling
Thank You to The Helpers

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