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ANU: The Story of My People

19 Oct

Visiting the Museum of the Jewish People in Tel Aviv

In August I visited ANU – The Museum of the Jewish People on the campus of Tel Aviv University.   There was much I saw at the museum that resonated in my heart. But honestly, I just could not write about my visit.  At that time, I was not in the right mind frame to discuss what we, the Jews, have been through in the past few years, as we were dealing with the worldwide Jew hatred and still praying for the hostages held by Hamas in Gaza.

But this week when the living hostages were finally released, and it felt possible that this seemingly endless war of survival is shifting, I revisited my time at ANU.  I remembered what stood in my mind then and still remains with me now.

I am a descendant of Jews who fled Spain and Portugal and ended up in Amsterdam before moving to Austria.   Although I know of one distant relative who was burned at the stake in Portugal for being a crypto Jew, most of my family kept their Judaism when they moved to the Netherlands.

I found out that the Jews of Spain and Portugal were not the only Jews who had to practice their religion in secret. At ANU I learned of the hidden Jews of Iran. In the 1800s the Jewish people of Mashhad, Iran, were forced to convert to Islam or be killed. For over 100 years the hidden Jew of Mashad were outwardly following Islam, but on Shabbat they celebrated their Judaism.  Forced to live in a ghetto area for these “new Muslims,” called Jadid al-Islam,” they married within their community.  Finally, in the 20th century they reclaimed their Jewish identity. About 10,000 Jews still live in Iran.

My family story mirrors stories retold at ANU.  My family, who had settled in Amsterdam, made a life changing decision in the late 1700/early 1800s.  A branch of my family settled in Galicia, Austria, in a small town called Mielec and my immediate family settled nearby in Trzciana.  For decades they lived peacefully with their neighbors.  But with the rise of the Nazis, everything changed.  Of the 5000 Jews who lived in Mielec area, only a little over 100 survived the extermination of the Jews.  Two of them were my relatives. Everyone else who stayed were murdered.

My grandfather came to the USA in 1920.  He did not suffer as most of his family did in the 1940s.  His suffering was the not knowing what happened to his loved ones. 

My family have lived the American dream which up in till the last decade or so has been wonderful.  Yes there was antisemitism, but it was kept quiet. Most people treated each other with civility.  However, in recent years that quietness faded and people felt empowered to spew Jew Hatred. Social media has been a major source of spreading all types of Hatred.  With October 7, a war that Hamas started not just to kill the Israelis but to cause a fire storm of hatred toward Israel, social media has become a cesspool of hate.   Using social media to life stream the attack on Israel and then to spread its hate has been an outrageous attack on Jewish people. And that fact that the news media does not vet its information makes matters worse.  Social media and some news media have been complicit in the spread of hate.

This web of hatred seems impossible to deal with at times. But the other important information I learned by visiting ANU, is that we survive. We have the will to survive. We are innovative and positive. We as a people make contributions in science, medicine, math, literature, agriculture, film and more. Our identity and culture keep us strong. I believe that inner strength will define us.

At ANU is the Sasson Codex, one of the oldest complete Hebrew Bible.  It is currently in a protected spot due to the missiles that have been launched toward Tel Aviv.  But a replica is on display. It is a treasure of Judaism.  And it is the Jewish Torah that has influenced the Western world, even though at times it seems they have forgotten the words that are at the heart of religious life: Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, visit the sick, etc. We are said to be the people of the Book, and that book is Torah.

At ANU miniatures of the famous synagogues of the world are on display, including the Portuguese Synagogue in Amsterdam. A synagogue that has been present for 350 years, where my family might once had prayed. Throughout all the wars and waves of Jew Hatred this Synagogue has remained! It continues as a the place of prayer for the Jews of Amsterdam who survived the Shoah, while other synagogues now serve as museums.

At ANU, I saw highlighted quotes by famous people about the Jewish people.   This one by Jean-Paul Satre, felt right to me: “I cannot judge the Jewish people by the accepted rules of history, the Jewish people is something beyond time.”

Let it be so.  Am Israel Chai.  The people of Israel, the Jewish people. They lived; they live; they will live.  Now and beyond time.  Amen Selah.

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Air Raid Sirens Are Not the Music to Labor Through!

2 Aug

This week, I had an out of body experience.  My body was in Holon with my husband, as my daughter and son-in-law were at a hospital where my daughter was in active labor. But my heart was with them. We had been awaiting the arrival of our newest granddaughter with excited anticipation. 

As we waited for news, a different sound interrupted our reverie.  It was not the buzzing of a cell phone with information or pictures.  Instead, it was the sounds of sirens as the Houthis sent another ballistic missile towards Israel.

As we ran to the mamad, I panicked. I have lived through sirens in Israel before. But now my thoughts were on my daughter delivering a new life into the world.  Was the birthing room in a safe place? My son-in-law reassured me.  At the same time my cousins also starting texting to make sure we were okay.  They also let me know that the birthing rooms were safe from rockets.

My granddaughter was born later the night, in the early morning hours of the next day.

But her arrival being heralded by air raid sirens led my mind to wander.  What will it be like for her to grow up in a country where there are air raid sirens weekly?  Where you never know who will attack next. I honestly believe that all residents of Israel have a little PTSD.  And I m sad that my granddaughter will have to live with the sounds of sirens in her life.

But at the same time, I have to think pregnant mothers in other areas of the world that are not safe.  I cannot imagine how a pregnant mother feels who lives in Yemen, Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, the Druze community of Syria, and Iran.

How do those women cope?

Here in Israel, there is the security that the sirens will alert us of a missile. That the mamad or bomb shelter will keep us safe. In these other places there are no shelters to protect them. There are not birthing rooms built to keep missiles out.  What goes through their minds when bombs fall?

The world is not a pretty place right now.  Jew Hatred has an intensity that has not been so bad since the Nazis. There is gun violence in the US. Hundreds of mass murders each year. There is conflict throughout the world. There are storms of unusual intensity. There are major earthquakes all around the Pacific rim. Today there are tsunami warnings in countries that border the Pacific. There is political unrest and uncertainty and regional and international tensions.

As a grandmother, I want that new generation to know a little of the peace that my children and I had. But with social media and the biased narratives of the news and bots that twist reality and challenge what is the truth, I am not sure the world will return to an equilibrium for decades.

What I believe is that women should not have to give birth in a bomb shelter. Sirens should not disturb the concentration and focus of labor. No woman should have to give birth in fear of war. You would think by now people would realize that we really are one world. And that major events that happen anywhere in the world impacts everyone. Just like the earthquake in Russia is impacting the world right now as countries sound their tsunami warnings and volcanoes erupt throughout the world.

I believe we are getting a message from nature.  We are one. We need to work together to give the next generation a safe place to live.

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The Tavern in Trzciana Comes To Life

29 Jul

I vividly remember when the movie version of “Fiddler on The Roof” was released.  It was the first Broadway show I had seen in person as a child.  So seeing it again in the movie theater reminded me of the special trip into New York City with my parents and the delight I felt while listening to the songs and learning about Anatevka.  One of my favorite scenes occurs in a tavern where the Polish and the Jewish citizens end up in riotous dance!

The tavern scene has so much more meaning to me now.  I was with my maternal grandfather the first time he saw the movie.  Grandpa was from a small town in Austria/Poland called Trzciana.  When he watched the tavern scene, he turned to me and said, “My family had a tavern just like that.  It looked just like that.”  Anatevka/Tzrciana taverns were interchangeable in my grandfather’s eyes. He said the movie brought back memories of his childhood.

Grandpa did not often speak freely about his family.  Stories came in bits and pieces of memories.  But it was not something you asked about.  It was something that he had to offer because Grandpa’s family all perished in the Shoah.  His parents, his siblings, his aunts and uncles, his cousins, everyone who was in Europe died, except for three.  (See blogs below.)

But that tavern memory has so much more meaning because now I know more about it thanks to the research of Izabela Sekulska who started the Mayn Shtetele Mielec Facebook group.   Izabela has been helping me find out information about my family for about a year now. The documents she finds make the stories I was told by Grandpa come to life.

Izabela recently found a document from the Chamber of Commerce and Industry that  brings the family tavern to life.

Chamber of Commerce and Industry document

My great grandfather Gimple Feuer applied to open a tavern on April 10, 1912, when my grandfather was just over 12 years old.  My Grandpa did grow up with a tavern in his life.  This document from the Chamber of Commerce and Industry states that the location was in Trzciana, Galicia, which was then part of Austria as Poland.  Throughout his life Grandpa said he was Austrian as that part of Galicia became part of Poland after the war. 

At my family’s tavern they sold beer, wine, other alcoholic beverages and tobacco according to this document.  I knew my great grandfather had a farm that included a crop of  grains and grain silos to store the grain.  So having a tavern makes sense, he had the grain to brew the beer.

Grandpa told us stories about cleaning out grain silos and how one time he and his cousin became intoxicated on the fumes from the silo.  They actually became sick and ran to a nearby stream/creek to drink the water and wash the fumes away. He said they almost drowned, they were so drunk.  

As I remembered this story, I  looked for  a map of current day Trzciana online and saw where the Cichawka stream goes through the town.

Thanks to Izabela, I know that there were no street names in Tzrciana, the homes and buildings  were just numbered during the time my grandfather lived there..  And the number of the tavern was 129.   

On the map that  I found online all the buildings are numbered.  There is one numbered 129 close to the creek. Could this be when my great grandfather had his tavern?  I am not sure, but it perhaps the numbers remain the same. 

Now there are addresses and streets. So perhaps with this information we can one day find out exactly where the tavern was located in the town. Perhaps this address is where the family lived, and the tavern was located on their farmland?   

Izabela has asked for help in finding out where this location is now in Trzciana in the Facebook group.  That would make this amazing find so much more amazing.  And it might be that the number 129 is in the same place. And the numbers around it are the places where the other members of my family lived before the war.

Knowing my great grandparents had a tavern, perhaps explains to me why there was actually a trial after the war concerning the murder of my great grandmother during the Shoah.  Perhaps their standing in the community created lasting friendships that existed after the war and lead to people actually testifying about her death. (See blog below.)

No matter what I find about where the tavern actually stood in Trzciana, I do know that from now on whenever I see the story of Anatevka and see the tavern scene, I will think of my grandfather and his family that perished, but I will also remember how they lived.

 

These two pictures are from Google. The show the new house at 129.
If you look closely at the other picture you see this building right next to it. It could be the home of my great grandparents or other relatives!!
Zissel and Shalom: Survivors and Heroes
March 9, 1942: The Destruction Of Mielec’s Jewish Population
The Trial For the Murder of Chava “Gimplowa” Feuer
An Unexpected Email Reveals Family Shoah History

Renewing A Family Connection: My Mother’s Day Gift

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Jew: The Original Doomsday Preppers

16 Jun

 It has been a crazy three days.  It has been stressful and at times unreal.  But what I do know is that I am a mother of a daughter and son-in-law who live in Israel.  More than that I am the mother of a woman who is 8-months pregnant.

My friends and family know that I am anxious, stressed and somewhat neurotic right now. They are reaching out with support and love. I am trying to continue with my daily life, but no matter what I do, my brain and my heart are in Israel. 

I feel like I need to share, to vent, to emote, at times to scream.  I mean, really!  I was just in Israel. How could this happen!  I HAVE to get back to Israel in six weeks!

Even my cousins who live in Israel or have their own children in Israel have reached out to me.  One cousin,  originally from Wichita, asked if I was okay.  She told me that her mother needed tranquilizers during the Gulf War. Makes sense to me.  Aunt Barbara I understand your angst now!

 Then another cousin, who I also saw in Israel, and who recently became a grandmother for the second time, texted: “Stay strong.”  My response, “I am trying!  You too!”  She is so Israeli. Her response “Children are strong. They are lions. And we are all warriors!”

I used that line this Shabbat when I was asked to read the Prayer for Israel.  I told everyone to remember we are all warriors! 

We will survive, as we always do.  I believe that. In the last two years its especially important to believe.  WE cannot cave to hate.

My daughter recently helped me see the reality.  We communicate several times each day now.  This What’s App Chat was classic. 

I start off:  “Perhaps when you are in the mamad (bomb shelter), you should stay away from the window.    (Back story: When they purchased this apartment she told me, “You will be happy to know the apartment has a bomb shelter.”  My response, “I am happy it does, but sad it has to have one.”  Now I really am happy snd extremely sad.)

“No one who was in a shelter died,” my daughter typed. “And Home Front Command specifically said that the number one safest place to be is in your mamad.  So that is where I will be.”  (There have about 30 who have died so far and hundreds who have been injured.)

“My heart hurts that you and all of Israel have to go through this. But especially pregnant women. (Okay I should have said children as well.).”  Then she informs me that one of her WhatsApp group of pregnant woman gave birth on Friday.   Both are fine.  But oy vey what a day.  So as a mom I typed (as if I had any control) “Wonderful! But best not to go into labor during a missile attack.  Just remember that.”  I got a thumbs up and “Yeah not Ideal.”

In Kansas people go into labor during tornados and snowstorms. It snowed the day she was born. But somehow giving birth during a bombing seems wrong.

The conversation continued as we got into what I call the immigrant response that was handed down from her great grandparents. My grandparents were both from Europe. They kept jewels, gold and money hidden in the basement. My siblings and I inherited a lot of jewelry. I keep my share in the bank. But we know it is there if needed.

Don’t worry is her usual response.  But this time it was a little different.

“Passports and jewelry are in the mamad as well,” she tells me. “A friend and I were talking about the first things to go into the mamad and I was like passports and jewelry.  Then came food. Then extra clothes.” (This is what I call European Jewish escape response.). I added, “What about water and a pot to pee in.” (Someone had to remind them.)

“Then I was talking to another friend and her German boyfriend,” she typed.  “I said something about diamonds, and he said “NO, Gold is better.”  I said, “ok, I guess a real German would know what bribes Germans were most likely to take so I’ll be sure to include gold.  Not that Germans are the problem right now.”  (Definitely Shoah inspired response based on knowledge about our family who was murdered and those that survived.)

I told her I was sad that she had to think about what she needs to keep in the mamad. 

“It is sad, but it’s also kind of our history.  Jews – the original doomsday preppers,” she typed.  “Gotta be ready to escape and bribe your way to safety.”

Yes, true, I wrote. But at least you have a shelter. I have to think of what Hamas did to the Gazans. Tunnels just for militants, the rest left to suffer the consequences of wars Hamas starts.

Unfortunately, perhaps it is our millenniums of dealing with hatred that has made us able to survive.  Perhaps being the original doomsday preppers is good.

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Zissel and Shalom: Survivors and Heroes

11 Jun

This is the most important blog I will write about my distant cousins Shalom Hollander and  (Lieb) Zissel Feuer.  They are true Jewish heroes. They did not give up. They lived through the Shoah and they helped those who also survived.  And I feel so honored to know that I am part of their family. I know that I just wrote about my renewed contact with their family, but I believe I need to just put it all in one place!

I have mentioned in other blogs that I met Zissel and Shalom when I was 19//20 years old studying at Hebrew University in 1974-75.  When I met them, I knew about the Shoah, but I also knew it was not something you asked about. If someone told you something you listened, but you did not interrupt.  You kept quiet.  The 1970s they were only just beginning to open up about what happened to them.

To me Zissel was someone my grandparents wanted me to meet.  Grandma had known him in 1931/32 when she took my mother and uncle to Europe.  Zissel stole a pearl necklace from her. And now over 40 years later, he wanted to make amends.  I was sent to collect the money and to listen to his story.  I liked Zissel. He reminded me of my grandfather. He worked in a bakery, my grandfather owned a bakery.  So from that point forward whenever I went to Tel Aviv, I visited Zissel.    I did not ask questions about his past.

Shalom I only met once. When my grandmother and I traveled to Israel in January 1976, we met up with Shalom in Haifa.  He and grandmother spent two hours speaking in Yiddish about what had happened in the war. About everyone who died.  

Ziseel and Shalom had been married to sisters, my grandfather’s first cousins. They and all the rest of the family was murdered. (Except one of the sisters’ brothers and those who had already left .) Some were buried in mass graves; some died in concentration camps; some died in a ghetto; some died in the death camp Belzec.  Shalom was saved by Schindler.  Zissel survived hiding in the forest nearby as part of the Amsterdam group, a partisan group all members of my family who hoped to survive in the forest.

After the war they both returned to Mielec to find other survivors.  They lived together in a house in town.  Thanks to Izabela Sekulska of Mayn Shtetele Mielec,  I now know what they did there.  They saved lives.  They testified against evil.  They worked to keep the memory of the dead alive.

First they saved lives.  Izabella told me that people were angry at Zissel. They said he lied and took money.  Well maybe he did. I have a different view.  The land of the Jews was now empty. The Jews were not coming back, or very few. Out of 5000 about 200 returned.  Zissel became the head of the Jewish community of Mielec.  Shalom was his deputy.  They did not just let the Poles take the land that had belong to the Jews. They told them that the survivors who came back, those who had lived through hell, had owned those lands. And they made the Polish people who wanted the lands to pay the Jews.  It makes sense to me.  They had nothing. No Home. No clothes. No family. NOTHING.  At least they could get some money to start a new life.  And they did.

Second thing they did. They testified.  They testified FOR the people who had helped the Jews. But they also Testified AGAINST many who had murdered the Jews. Including my great grandmother, who was also their aunt by marriage.  They wrote out testimonies and they signed their names to them.

Third thing they did. They protected the site of a mass burial. The spot where the Germans killed 800 Jews on March 9, 1942, Shalom purchased the land and put up a monument to his parents who are among those who are buried there, probably along with my great aunts and uncle.  They also built a wall around the Jewish cemetery.

Fourth, they helped an orphan Jewish girl who had been hidden and kept by a Polish woman during the war.  Shalom remarried after the war to another survivor of the Shoah. They adopted the girl and brought her to Israel with them when they left Poland. They went on to have three more children.

Fifth.  Shalom wrote testimonies for almost 40 people to be kept at Yad vShem, including for my great grandparents and my great uncle.  As well as his wife, children, parents, in laws, and Zissel’s wife.

Sixth.  Zissel came to America to see his brother in the early 1950s.  He visited my grandparents and told my grandfather how his family died.  My grandmother called him the Angel of Death, because he brought this horrific news into our family.

Seventh.  They survived.  They helped to settle the new Israel.  They worked. They remained close.  Shalom had a new family, new wife, children and grandchildren.  Zissel never remarried, but he also had a life and a relationship with Shalom’s children.

I am honored that I knew them.  I wish I had been braver and asked questions.  I wish had written down what they did tell me.  I wish I was not so timid then. But I am glad that I can close my eyes and still see them. Especially Zissel, who I spent so much time with 50 years ago.

I hope to keep their names and memories a blessing for my family.

There are many blogs about both Zissel and Shalom. You can find them on my blog site.

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Am Yisroel Chai. My Shabbat Speech

2 Jun

I was asked by my Rabbi to talk to my congregation about my trip to Israel. Here is a slightly edited version of that Shabbat speech, which I delivered on May 30.

Shabbat Shalom.

 I recently spent two weeks in Israel.  I did not visit tourist sites or go to a meeting.  I spent my time with my daughter and her husband and visits with friends and relatives who live in Israel.  What I did see was the resilience of the people of Israel.

On Sunday, 36 hours after I arrived in Israel, just as I went to take a walk, the siren sounded.  I went to the Mamad, the safe room.  A Houthi missile landed in Ben Gurion Airport.  This bombing partially cut Israel off from the rest of the world as airlines cancelled flights. Obviously, what the Houthis and terrorists want to do.

I also learned that when a siren for a rocket or missile attack goes off, take shelter wherever you can.  Just follow the crowd and they will let you in and show you what to do. When a siren sounds Israelis are one, helping each other to shelter.

On Monday, day 4, I took a bus with my daughter to Tel Aviv to meet with Ilana, who used to live in Overland Park and taught at the Hebrew Academy. She took me to Hostage Square, walking me from my daughter’s office to the site next to the Tel Aviv Art Museum.  Although I was there in the middle of the day, not when the protests usually happen, I was able to see the monuments and messages posted in honor and in memory of the hostages and those who died.   Ilana and I discussed the political situations in both the USA and Israel. How the hostage families want the war to end. Is what Trump is doing good for the Jewish people and Israel or not. What about Netanyahu?  What was going to happen.

Later we met my daughter for lunch at a restaurant in Sarona. We joined many others enjoying the lovely weather and eating outside.  We even ran into a group from Kansas City, including one of my daughter’s Hebrew Academy classmates. Life continues in Isarel. People enjoy luncheon dates. Tourist run into people they know. I have to believe, Am Yisroel Chai.

 On Thursday, Day 7,my daughter and I took the train from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. In the morning, the train was empty and quiet.  I was a little nervous about what to do if there are sirens during the trip.  But a large part of this journey is underground, through tunnels in the mountains around Jerusalem. This new train route is direct from Tel Aviv with just one stop at Ben Gurion Airport before going on to Jerusalem. It’s a great way to travel.

It ends at a new train station with easy access to the Central Bus Station and where you can catch the light rail station right in front.  We just had a five-minute walk through lots of construction to meet our family, two of my husband’s first cousins (who grew up in Wichita) and their spouses.   One couple lives in Shiloh on the West Bank.  Right after October 7, three of their sons and one so- in-law were called up. Two went to Gaza.  Now after a break, two have been called up again. In fact, that week 60,000 young men and women were called back to active duty for a new ground assault of Gaza.

 The other couple live in Sderot Boker. On October 7, the wife’s sister- in-law was among those murdered.  Her daughter is teamed with a search and rescue dog. They spent days after October 7 searching for the living and finding the dead.  We did not discuss October 7, our main topic of conversation was that Jay’s 82-year-old cousin finally had a bar mitzvah at the Kotel that morning, and the antisemitism in the USA, especially on college campuses.  Think of that, sons called up to Gaza; sister-in-law murdered on Oct 7; and we discussed the Jew Hatred in the United States.   They will persevere. Am Yisroel Chai.

The train ride back to Tel Aviv was packed.  Soldiers and students returning home with their laundry for the weekend. It made me smile.  Sixty thousand called up.  Airlines cancel flights.  Worldwide antisemitism.  And in Israel teens and soldiers are bringing their laundry home to their mothers.  As it should be. Mothers rule!!!

On Friday, Day 8, Zak’s parents, who live in Tekoa, in the West Bank,  and his brother and girlfriend, from Modiim, came for lunch.  We took pictures. We celebrated being together. We spoke about family and the future. We talked about the house they are renovating in Zichron Yaacov.  We did not discuss the war or politics. We discussed the future for our children. And we do see a future. Am Yisorel Chai.

For Shabbat . Day 9, we visited my cousins.  My mother’s first cousin is my age.  Her parents, my great uncle and aunt, survived the Shoah.  She was born when they finally felt safe.  Her daughter is an excellent chef and made us a wonderful meal. Three of her grandchildren were there as well. The oldest is in the army. She does intake for those who work in the Kiryia.  Her biggest complaint are the parents who call because their children did not make it into this elite group.  Parents are the same everywhere.  The next oldest, a boy, has one more year before the army, but already had his first meeting.  And the youngest is just 14. But he knows what’s in his future.  Families in Israel. Descendants of survivors,  still sending their precious children to fight for survival.  Am Yisroel chai.

On Monday, Day 11,  I took the bus once again to Tel Aviv.  On the way home my daughter pointed out a different bus line with the driver who poked the package.  To understand that you need to know that several months ago a few buses had explosives that blew up, luckily, when the buses were empty in Holon and Bat Yam.  A couple of days later, my daughter had to take a different bus than usual that went through Bat Yam then to Holon.  She was the last one on the bus and noticed an unattended.  She walked up to the bus driver to tell him.  He stopped the bus and looked at it and poked it. And said it was safe.  She was horrified. They had a short conversation with him ending it by saying “I don’t know why anyone would ride a bus!”  She was a bit shocked and said to him, You drive them!””  In any case he was our driver on Monday. Should I say Am Yisroel Chai?  Israeli bus drivers are tough! But it does make you think.

Later that day Edan Alexander was released by the Hamas and returned to Israel.  I did not realize how much this would touch my heart.  An American from New Jersey, Edan is from the same city where my sister and her family lived.  I have been at the high school and the Jewish Community Center.  I have walked those streets.  He survived over 500 days in hell.

Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Our returned hostages have an entire country supporting them. People lined the streets to the hospital to welcome him home.  Hostage Square was packed that evening. Am Yisroel Chai.

Tuesday, Day 12, my daughter and I go to the large outdoor mall in Tel Aviv to meet her friend with her 2-month-old daughter and her father.  Her friend’s first cousin, Maya, was slaughtered at the Nova concert.  I planted a tree for her and said Kaddish on October 7, 2024. We had lunch together, in a restaurant where we were served by both Jewish and Moslem wait staff. My daughter and her friend spent two hours in SheLev baby store going through everything Lara would need.  While her Dad walked the baby, I stayed mostly with the girls. They suffered a horrible loss on October 7, but now it was all about the Babies.  And there are lots of babies in Israel. They are having a baby boom!  The people of Israel will continue to live.  Am Yisroel Chai.                 

Later that day, my daughter drove me. to a kfar near Natanya, where I have distant relatives. The descendants of survivors, whom I met when I lived in Israel in 1974 and 1975. The families had lost touch over the past 35 years, when my grandfather and the survivors passed away.  But now we were reunited and could share our family stories. My distant cousin, whose father lost his entire first family in the Shoah, his wife and four children, as well as his parents and all his siblings, was the oldest son of the second marriage. The marriage of two survivors.  My cousin and his wife have 7 children, 40 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren so far. I do not know how many children his siblings have, but I know there are many. The people of Israel will continue to live. Am Yisroel Chai vChayon.

At this point, I will add that our current president’s trip to the middle East was about to begin.  There was consternation in Israel because neither he nor anyone else from the government was coming to Israel. There was some anxiety in the air, but at the same time not. Israel was already isolated. 

My final trip to Tel Aviv was on Wednesday, Day 13. I met with a childhood friend who moved to Israel 30 years ago. We had lunch at the Azrielli Mall in Tel Aviv.  Her daughter has finished her military service and now will be an English teacher.  Her son will go into the army later this year.  Her husband works at Ben Gurion Airport to screen those coming into and out of the country. We also discussed the Jew Hatred in the USA and around the world.   And keeping safe. Am Yisroel Chai.

After I walked her to the train station, I walked back to Serona, where I did my one tourist activity, I took a tour of Serona.  It was a welcome moment of just enjoying seeing something of Israel I hadn’t seen before, as docent took us into buildings that are usually locked and told us the story of Serona. Originally settled in the late 1800s by the German Templars, Serona was the site of the first government of Israel, the first Bank of Israel, the first military base. It was the Kiryia.  Having this place as the first seat of government enabled Israel to govern from a safe spot.  Now, of course, the main seat of government is in Jerusalem.  Whereas there is a new Kiryia is in Tel Aviv.

My daughter’s’s office is in one of the skyscrapers that now surround Serona. On the three days I took the bus into Tel Aviv with her, I got to see where she worked and meet with her colleagues.  The CyberWell office is dedicated to searching for and helping to eliminate Jew hatred on social media platforms.  They see so much hatred online that part of their workload includes monthly meetings with a wellness team to ease their stress. The efforts to stop the hate is ongoing and not easy as social media platforms track it mainly in English, and the hate comes in all languages.  But they have the technology and the people who will work to stop it. The Jewish people find ways to survive, we are resilient. Am Yisroel Chai.

On a daily basis, I walked the streets of Holon and Tel Aviv feeling safe.  Some days after work and dinner, when it was dark and cooler, my daughter and I walked around Holon for a mile or so.  We passed the many playgrounds with their bomb shelters, we passed stores, some that are open all night.  We passed my favorite bakery. The bread in Israel is so delicious, so we often stopped there to buy challah rolls or bagelas or pastry.  One side of the bakery was all pareve.  I was in bakery heaven.

My last night, we had one last siren before my trip ended.  In all I experienced four sirens and four trips to the Mamad.  By the end, I no longer felt anxious when the sirens went off.  I knew the military was doing its best to keep us all safe with its defenses and its alerts to the people. I knew that the people of Israel were strong, as was I, and this too shall pass, and we will remain as always.   Am Yisroel Chai v Chaiyon.

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Renewing A Family Connection: My Mother’s Day Gift

21 May

While in Isarel, I finally renewed a family connection which started 50 years ago. When I was 20, I met two survivors of the Shoah. They were married to sisters before the war. The sisters perished in the Shoah, but the two men remained connected for the rest of their lives.

I have written about both of these men before, (Lieb) Zissel Feuer and Shalom Hollander.  Both were distant cousins of my grandfather. But their wives were his first cousins.   I wrote about meeting Zissel and Shalom and what happened to them during and after the war, and a bit about my contact with them in Israel between 1974-76. (See blogs below.). Over the years my perception of the two changed, as I learned more about their lives.

Now I have a different story to share, because I have met Shalom’s oldest son Chaim, as well as the great nephew of his first wife, who is also my third cousin, Jeff, and his daughter.

For me it was a meeting that completed a story.  For them, I hope I was able to fill in stories about the family and answer question about the family before the war.  As we shared our stories, I could see where my knowledge and theirs combined and differed.  I spoke about meeting Zissel at the bakery in Tel Aviv across from the Shuk HaCarmel.   Chaim smiled while I told my stories about meeting Zissel there each time I came to Tel Aviv.  Chaim, of course, knew the bakery and even Zissel’s address.  Although I had been at his apartment several times, I did not remember the address.  But we had other shared memories. 

I think when I talked about the bakery, Chaim knew then that I was really a relative.  I really had met Zissel. I don’t think he thought I was lying , but he had never heard of me, yet there I was a family member from the USA, unknown to him. Also when I told him about meeting his father, how elegant he seemed.  And Chaim agreed, his dad had that old world charm.

Chaim actually made me feel better about Zissel. I knew he did not have a family.  Shalom was not related to him at all, once their wives died.  Shalom. remarried.  Zissel never did.  But Chaim told me that Zissel was always part of Shalom’s family. He came to be with them for all the haggim, the holidays.  That eased my heart.  Really, I am tearing up even now.  For me Zissel was such a sad soul. So to know he was not alone, helped.

We talked about the importance of what Ziseel and Shalom did after the war to help others from Mielec who survived and to keep the memory of those who were murdered. Shalom purchased the land where a mass burial of 800 Jews were buried and put up a fence and a marker.  Both men also testified against those who were the murderers, as Zissel had done for the murderer of my great grandmother, his aunt by marriage.  Our discussion filled in so many blanks for me.

Chaim and his wife gave me memoirs written by both Shaom and his second wife, Ita, about what happened during the war.

I in turn could tell them about those who made it to the United States before the war.

How Julius/Judah/Yidel Amsterdam, my grandfather’s uncle, came first.  As other relatives came to the New York/New Jersey area, he gave them a choice. You can be a butcher or a baker.  There was a cousin who was a butcher, and Uncle Yidel was a baker.  My grandfather chose to be a baker.  Chiam laughed as I told the story, because his uncle who went to the states became a butcher.  I said he was probably helped by my great uncle Yidel as well.

With Jeff, I could talk about his great uncle Morris, who lived in Helena, Montana.  My grandfather always stayed in touch with his first cousin.  I knew one of this sons because when I moved to Kansas, they gave me Jack’s phone number. He lived in Denver.  To my grandfather and his cousin Morris, this was close enough. We never actually met, but we spoke several times.

For me I have a feeling of completion.  When I found out about these relatives, through the research of Izabela S.  I knew I had to see them when I was in Israel visiting my daughter.  They lived quite a distance.  But my daughter said that this was my Mother’s Day gift.  It was the one thing I really wanted to do.  So we took the long drive from Holon to a small Kfar near Netanya.

Over the years of my research I have found out how the members of my family were murdered during the Shoah.  I know how a small numbered survived.  I know that they are not forgotten.  I am not the only who keeps their memory alive within the family.  And there are people like Izabela in Poland, who also work to keep the memory of the  Jewish population alive.

I never thought I would ever want to go to Trzciana or Mielec.  My grandfather never wanted to go back there after his family was murdered.  But now I do want to go. I what to see where they lived. Where Shalom and Zissel created a Jewish community after the war. Where the Amsterdam group hid in the nearby forest. The town where my great grandmother was murdered. The mass grave where my great aunts are probably buried.

But most of all I am so glad that I found out what that Zissel and Shalom did after the war.  I, as a young woman, saw both Zissel and Shalom as such sad people talking about Death.  I did not hear the stories about what they did to give people a reason to LIVE after the war. And to create a place of memory for those murdered.

I now know that Shalom and his wife, who was also a survivor from Mielec, had four children, a girl who survived whom they adopted and three sons.  Chaim and his wife have seven children, 40 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren so far. 

I know that Zissel was not alone.  That Zissel and Shalom stayed connected throughout their lives.  I also know that Zissel died in Holon.  I think he might be buried there. So next time I am in Israel, I hope to find his grave and put place a rock of remembrance on his matzevot.

The Trial For the Murder of Chava “Gimplowa” Feuer
An Unexpected Email Reveals Family Shoah History
The Years of The Shoah: Lieb Sussel Feuer/Zissel Feuer And Schulim/Shalom Hollander

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A Small Beacon of Hope On Yom HaShoah

27 Apr

My husband loves to assign movies to holidays that impact us.  For Fourth of July, we watched 1776; for Ground Hogs Day, we watch Ground Hogs Day; for Israel Independence, we watch Exodus; and for Yom HaShoah, we watch Schindler’s List.

I have known for several years now that one of my grandfather’s cousins, one of the very few who survived the Shoah, was on Schindler’s List and survived as a member of his work force.  It made me think of this movie in a different light, because now one of those working and surviving was someone I once knew. 

But this year, my view of the movie will change even more.  For the first time, I now know that my grandfather’s cousin, Shalom, was one of the people who served as a pallbearer for Oscar Schindler at his funeral.  And for the first time, I have found out that my distant cousin was one of at least 10 people from his community who were saved by Schindler.

(Many thanks to Izabela Sekulska and Mayn Shtetele Mielec for discovering this information.)

I had to wonder, did they know each other?  There were about 5,000 Jewish souls who lived in the area of Mielec.  Only 100-200 survived.  Once they became part of the Schindler work force, of course they new each other. But did they work together to survive?  Did they become part of this unusual group together?

I know of one other story like Schindler’s list. My good friend’s mother and grandmother survived the Shoah with about 100 other women who worked making clothes and shoes for the German army.  The man who ran this factory saved them several times.  Once keeping them at the factory even over night when there was typhus disease raging through the camp.  A second time he actually went to the camp and getting his workers out from a transport to a death camp, saying he did not want to train new workers.  

Did he do this because he was emotionally attached to his workers?  Did he really work to save them?  We will never know. But my friend’s mother and grandmother survived. I knew them as well.  Their story can be found at the San Antonio’s Holocaust Memorial Museum. 

So on this Yom HaShoah, I will have a small beacon of light thinking about my grandfather’s cousin, Shalom; my girlfriend’s mother, Anna, who were saved by their work in a factory.  And I will have hope because people like Izabela in today’s Poland work to keep the Jewish cemeteries in good order and to find out what happened to the Jewish people who disappeared over 80 years ago.

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Pre-Passover/Pesach Ponderings

8 Apr

At 70 years old, I envisioned that I would be sailing through my retirement years comfortable with my world.  Enjoying my family, watching my country continue to flourish, seeing the United States and its reputation be strong in the world, as my husband and I continued to travel and enjoy visiting new places.

This is a far distant vison than the one my great grandmother faced 82 years ago, when in April 1943, she was murdered by the Germans at age 70 in Poland.  It was the Thursday before Easter, and after her husband and four children had been murdered and her farm and property had been confiscated by the Germans.

My great grandmother is a bit different than the many unknown who were murdered during the Shoah, as there is a record of her last day taken during the trial held after the war for her murder.  I know what she did, what she said, and who killed her. (See blog below.)

For fifty years I had been on a quest to find out what happened to my grandfather’s family.  A quest that started after I spent my sophomore of college in Jerusalem.  A year when I met many members of my family who survived the Shoah and ended up living in Eretz Israel, the land of Israel.

When I returned home, I was the child who said, I need to know.  I sat with all of my grandparents to hear their stories.  I wrote everything down. In the 1970s there was no internet, no easy way to discovered what happened. But I kept my papers and over the years when I met other members of my family I wrote down what they said.  And slowly, slowly the stories came out.

In some instances, I found out history that perhaps I did not want to know.  I learned about my father’s family who came to the USA in the 1870s.  I learned of both tragedies and joys.    

I learned about a great uncle who ended up in a mental institution, a great aunt who died from the Spanish flu, multiple children who died in their infancies; family menbers who did not speak to each other and a child who was raised by an aunt and did not know till she got engaged.

For my mother’s family, both of her parents came to the USA in the early 1920s, I learned about the hundreds of cousins, siblings, parents, all many of relatives that were murdered in the Shoah, as well as ones who had been saved.

I learned about relatives who were on Schindler’s List.  Those who were saved by the Kinder Transport and ended up in England.  A cousin who survived the Kelce Pogrom. Others who hid in the forests near their home town and formed a group like the one in the movie, “Defiance,” but these were my family.

I learned about a relative who converted to Catholicism before the war, but during the war she tried to save her sibling and her children. She was not successful.  Their bodies were found buried in a field when construction was being done about three years ago. The driver of the vehicle was the grandson of the relative who converted, so Catholic himself.  He had dug up the bodies of his own dead Jewish great aunt and her family.  Can you imagine the irony of this? 

I learned that owning property or having money does not save you.  What might save you is luck, fortitude, or relatives who might have a chance to get your out.  But you also had to make your own luck.  You had to want to survive.

My great grandmother finally gave up. Everyone was dead, she had been hiding in the forest with others for a while.  But then she was done. It was too much sorrow. Too much loss.

In this world with the chaos and uncertainty surrounding the economy; the round up of immigrants, even those with legal residences; the job losses; the attacks on education; the attacks on the rights of LGBTQ communities; the rise in anti-Semitism and hatred toward Israels and Jews, I have had to re-evaluate.

Could our property be confiscated?  Could our savings be stolen?  Could people in the USA be forced to hide in the woods to stay safe?  Will people just give up?

Am I really so different from my great grandmother whom I am named after?  Should I consider my own exit strategy?  Believe me my mind often mulls over the options. 

But it is the Tuesday before Pesach and Easter.  It is two days before the 82nd anniversary of my great grandmother’s murder by the German mayor of Czermin, Jukub Hesler.

So I am pondering and considering and hoping that our Constitution is strong enough. That our courts are strong enough. That our elected politicians remember who they vow allegiance to:  The CONSTITUTION of the United States of America.  And who they serve, the people of their states and districts.

I wish everyone a Zissel Pesach, a happy Pesach.  And I wish all who celebrate Easter a happy Easter.  And I wish to everyone throughout the countries of the Earth a peaceful and joyful 2025.

The Trial For the Murder of Chava “Gimplowa” Feuer

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March 9, 1942: The Destruction Of Mielec’s Jewish Population

4 Mar

On March 9, it will be the 83rd anniversary of the deportation and mass murder of the Jews of Mielec.  The end of the 5000 Jews who lived in the city of Mielec and its surrounding villages, 50 percent of the total population of the area.  The home to my grandfather and his family.  His father, mother, brothers and sisters were among the Jews were marched out of the town.  Some were killed along the way and buried in a mass grave, some sent to death camps where they were murdered.  My great grandmother somehow escaped this but died months later, murdered by a German, turned in by her old neighbors.  (See blogs below.)

My Great Grandfather
Murdered, but not forgotten. Both photos by Izabela Sekulska.

Thanks to the amazing Izabela Sekulska, my family members are now remembered.  Since March 9, 2020, a group of Polish people from Mielec remember the deportation of the Jews of Mielec.  They will gather once again at the mass grave, read out the names of 105 more people who they now know.  So far they have made stones for 1000 Jewish residents who were murdered in the Shoah. Included in this list are eight of my relatives. Gimple Feuer, Chava Amsterdam Feuer, Taube Amsterdam Feuer, Nachum Amsterdam Feuer, Shimon Amsterdam Feuer, Ceia/Tzilia Amsterdam Feuer, as well as Natan Amsterdam and Tauba and Marcus Amsterdam.  For each a stone has been painted and will be left on the mass grave. You can learn more about their work on the Facebook Group, Mayn Shtelele Mielec.

I thank those who work to keep their memories alive in Poland.  Who do not forget the mass graves of Jews still buried and unknown.  In my heart I will be there on March 9 and I remember those who died due to hatred in the past. Now I have a date to say Kaddish for my family.

I will think about those still hostages in Gaza, also murdered and tortured and held against their will while the world is mainly silent.  And I will think how once again the Red Cross and the humanitarian agencies did nothing to save them.  Just as they did basically nothing during the Shoah.

I will think about the UN, whose voice was silent during the brutal rape and murders of Israelis and others who were caught in in the Hamas murder spree.  Who voice was silent for 18 months toward Jewish hostages and Israel, but not silent in still supporting Hamas.  I will think about the UN who recently cut off all aid to Yemen after the Houthis took over 20 UN workers hostage. But who did not cut off aid to Hamas after their violent attacks.  Double standards for sure.

I will think about college students and professors who turned in support for Hamas and tormented and attacked Jewish students, faculty and administrators.  And we now know that Hamas was infiltrating these groups and had a hand in the protests.  And I will think about the university administrators who said the words “kill all Jews” had to be taken into context before they could say this was wrong.  I am glad that now those who are violent and threatening are beginning to realize this is not free speech and are expelled from their universities.  I have nothing against a civil exchange of ideas, but the violence and threats are not that.

I will think about the current administration and its two-sided ideology.  On one hand saying it is working to end anti-Semitism, but on the other hand getting rid of DEI initiatives that hurt minorities and the attacks on Hispanic members of our communities using the threats of ICE to scare and threaten them. As well as their attacks and efforts to silence the LGBTQ+ community, just as the Nazis also tortured and murdered those who were homosexual.

I will think about the last two years, the present and the future.  I will think about the fact that my husband told me next time I visited our daughter in Israel I should look into getting Israeli citizenship. Is America ever going to be great again for the Jewish citizens?  I am not sure.  I know many think that the current president supports the Jews. But I see something totally different.  A support for Israel because it fits his needs now, while at the same time supporting those who would make the USA a  nation with against those of different religions and ideologies.

But I will also think about the helpers.  Those in Poland who remember what happened and are trying to make a change.  Those in the USA who speak out against baseless hatred. And I will try to have hope that this insidious evil that seems to have arisen will soon slither back in to the underworld where it belongs.

The Trial For the Murder of Chava “Gimplowa” Feuer

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