The Mystery of Marjorie: Missed Opportunity Realized a Bit Too Late

Sometimes serendipity does not go the way you want it to go!

Over 20 years ago, a woman called our home and left a message.  My husband’s father had passed away, and the obituary mentioned his mother’s name as well.  She had died 20 years before at the young age of 59 from cancer.  The caller said that she had grown up with my mother-in-law in Leavenworth, Kansas, and really wanted to speak to my husband about his Mom.

My father-in- law died on September 1, 2001.  Ten days later was 9/11.  The message got deleted and forgotten for quite a while.  Life seemed so bizarre in the days and months following the terrorist attack. With most of my family in the New York City area, I was suffering with the rest of the country in a state of shock.  My father-in-law’s death faded into the background. But we were feeling the emotions of that loss as well as the loss of security we all felt in the USA.

Sometime after the initial phone call, I remembered the call.  I told my husband that someone named Marjorie had called about his Mom.  I no longer had the phone number or the message.  But I knew that somewhere in our Kansas City Jewish community this person existed.  And then it faded away again. But every once in a while, if I met an older woman named Marjorie I would ask if she grew up in Leavenworth.

A month ago a friend’s mother passed away.  Although I am friends with this woman, I did not know her mother.  I never met her. I never spoke to her.  But I wish I did because in her obituary, I found out her name was Marjorie and that she grew up in Leavenworth, Kansas.  Furthermore, she and my mother-in-law were born just six weeks apart.  It had to be the missing Marjorie who had called us so many years before.  She had lived to the amazing age of 97.  Almost 40 years longer than my mother-in-law.

I could not go to the shiva or funeral, but I emailed my friend and apology and told her the story of my mother-in-law and this woman who I now believed was her mother. She immediately wrote back that she had a box of memorabilia from her Mom and that she would look through it.  I know it gave her something to do, an escape from the funeral activities.  It was a search for answers.  Was her Mom my mother-in-law’s friend?

The answers came quickly. My friend emailed me a page from the Leavenworth High School yearbook.  They were in the same grade.  Then articles from local newspapers showing both of their names.  There was not much we could do then, as I was leaving town. 

I told her that I would take her to lunch when I came back because I could not go to shiva.  And she agreed to bring some of the papers.  What a lunch.  I saw my mother in law’s high school graduation program.  I saw the program from her confirmation at the Leavenworth synagogue.  Four girls were confirmed together.  My mother-in-law, my friend’s mother and her sister, as well as one other girl.   My friend told me that somewhere she has a photo from the confirmation.  I cannot wait to see it. She was excited as well because now she can put a name on each of the girls.

I found out that sometimes my mother-in-law used a different spelling for her name.  Sometimes it was Leona May, which is what we all believed was the spelling.  And sometimes it was Leona Mae.  Did she use that when she wanted to be a bit more fancy?  Who knows.  But I found it endearing.  Legally it was Leona May.

I found out in 1993 the class held their 50 high school reunion.  Of course, she was not there since she had died in 1984.  But her sister, Barbara, submitted a biography about what she did after high school, her family and of her death from cancer.  It was somewhat emotional to see this message from Barbara.

I so wish I had found Marjorie years ago.  I wish we could have gone through her box of memories together with her daughters and my husband.  But I am still glad I have finally found out who she was in the community.  Also that my friend and I can enjoy this link between our families.