When my grandfather died almost 31 years ago, my mother shipped some furniture to me. My grandparents’ cherry mahogany bedroom set, a lamp, an old radio cabinet and a few more pieces. My grandfather had not removed my grandmother’s clothing from the dresser nor the items she had left behind in the radio cabinet that served as a closed bookcase. My mother did not empty them out either. She sent the furniture filled with my grandparents’ personal items because she just could not deal with them.
I emptied out the dresser drawers when I received it, donating most of the clothing to charity, the $10 bill I found hidden away, I still have for emergencies. Although I used the radio cabinet, I left my grandparent’s items inside alongside the items I stored in it. But recently, when I moved, I emptied out the cabinet and repurposed it as a curio cabinet. I had looked at the items before this move. In fact, I wrote a previous blog about my grandmother’s ledger books. (See blog below.). But the other piles I just ignored for 31 years. Procrastination in dealing with sorrow is strong in my family.
But now I had no excuse. I had to sort through the piles on the shelves. My findings included letters that my sister, cousin, Mom and I all wrote to my grandparents. I must admit, most of the ones saved were from me. I think that I wrote the most because I moved to the Midwest. There were also three letters in Yiddish. I think they are from my Grandmother’s brother and sister in law. I have to get them translated.
Included in the piles were 116 unused vintage greeting cards from the 1940s, 50s and 60s: sympathy cards; cards for birthdays, weddings, anniversary; get well cards; birthday cards for grandchildren; holiday cards.
There was one sister birthday card. My grandmother was able to save her sister from Poland in 1936 and bring her to the United States. They were extremely close. My great uncle was a baker with my grandfather. But Grandma never sent this card to my Tante. I thought, “why waste a good card.” I recently sent it to my sister, whose birthday is this month. I think she will like it!
Among these vintage cards were two that really touched my heart. Created by American Greetings, these 25 cent cards were birthday cards for twins. Why would Grandma buy birthday cards for twins? We knew no twins; we had no twin cousins; why?
I think I know. I my theory with my sister. We will never know, but it could be. I honestly wish I could ask her. But when I was a teenager, I learned her story.
We did not have living twins in our family. But in 1930 my grandmother was pregnant with twins. She already had two children. My uncle about 3 or 4 and my Mom was about 18 months when my grandmother was pregnant again. At 24, she was not in good health. Her childhood in Poland and surviving WWI had left its mark on her health. Her kidneys were failing. The doctor said she had to terminate the pregnancy or she and the baby would die (They did not know it was twins till after.).
And so the pregnancy was terminated. Abortion was illegal in 1930. However, Grandma was able to have the abortion by a physician. Could it be that she was so sick, they had to do anything to save her life? I assume so. After the abortion they found out that she was carrying twins.
How do I know all of this? My grandmother and my mother told me. My sister knows as well. It was not a secret. My grandmother was always open about how terminating the pregnancy saved her life. She never got pregnant again. I assume my grandparents were very careful.
But after the abortion, my Grandmother was still quite ill. Her kidneys were still failing. She was so ill that she decided she had to go back to Europe and give her children to her in-laws as she was sure she was going to die. She did not die and she returned to the USA with her children and then worked to get the family out of Europe. (I wrote a blog about this as well, see below.). It was the abortion, the illness and this trip that led to my grandmother saving her sister’s life!
When I saw the birthday cards for the twins. My memory of my Grandmother telling me about this lost pregnancy came into my mind. Did she ever think about all that happened because she ended the pregnancy? Did she buy these cards for the children who did not live? Where they often on her mind? Did she celebrate their birthday privately?
I will never know.
https://zicharonot.com/2015/12/07/my-grandmas-ledger-books-remind-me-of-her-financial-lessons/
https://zicharonot.com/2016/06/06/the-mysterious-kalsbad-photos-who-are-they/
zicharonot 
I am sure she did exactly as you suspect. That’s why when right-to-lifers argue that women who have abortions are murderers and heartless, I get infuriated. I believe most women who terminate a pregnancy give it a lot of thought and take it to heart. I don’t mean that they all have reasons like your grandmother, and I am sure some are cavalier about it, but I’d wager that most are thoughtful and have good reasons—-even if it’s just to limit their family size for personal or economic reasons.
Absolutely. My daughter did an internship at our Planned Parenthood focusing on policy. I actually learned so much during her time there!
What a touching post! Your grandmother was a strong, resilient and amazing woman.
Yes she was. A very strong personality.
I kinda love the idea of multi-functional spaces it really interests me! Thank you for sharing this it was a really lovely read.