Today my brother turns 65. I find that a bit shocking as we are just 14 months apart, and where he leads I follow. I cannot believe we are nearing the end of our working careers. He tells us he is retiring in December 2019. But I am glad that we are aging together with friendship and love.
I had not intended to write a blog about my brother. He is a somewhat private person, so I will not put in a photo and I will not give him a name here. But I am going to tell some of my favorite memories.
First important memory. We are about 8 and 9 years old. It was a Sunday and we had just completed a visit to my grandparents in New York City. With three of us, only two could get window seats. And it was my younger sister and my turn to have the window seats. My brother was in the middle.
It was a time before seat belts, so as the car moved, we moved. Sometimes if we bumped into each other, we would scream out, “He touched me! She touched me! Don’t touch me!” Car rides were not always fun!
On this day, when we got into the car, the driver’s side passenger door would not close properly, but my Dad forced it closed and locked it. Or so he thought. And he took off driving back to our home in North Bergen, New Jersey, across the river.
I remember it in slow motion. As he went around a big curve going onto the highway to the George Washington Bridge, that door, right where I was sitting and leaning up against, flew open. I started sliding out of the car with the force of the movement.
I heard my brother yell. I felt his hand grab my hand and pull me toward the center of the car. There was no teasing, not pushing, just a warm grabbing arm pulling me up against him as my dad pulled to the slide and stopped the car. It was a scary moment. But I was fine. Dad got the door closed properly this time. And we went home.
I always think of it as the time my brother saved my life.
Do not think it was always like that. Being just 14 months apart, we had our moments of fighting and our moments of companionship.
We often united in either protecting our much younger sister or wanting to rid the world of her.
But as we grew up, we grew together in our parents’ words, “Brothers and sisters stick together.” (See blog below.)
Over the years, as we faced the deaths of our parents and other close family members, my brother has been the rock. He continues to call us “Sisters” whenever he has something to say.
Like, “Sisters, sisters, let’s calm down.” I think it is his own way to remind himself that we are his sisters and we must stick together.
But it is my brother who would pick me up at the airport many times I came in to see my parents in their last illnesses. It was my brother who called to tell me my Dad had passed away. It was my brother and I who cleaned out their apartment together, sorting through the things to keep, throw out and give away. His strength made it doable.
It was my brother who dropped everything to be with my sister when her husband became deathly ill. Getting there as soon as he could, while I made plans to fly in with my nephew from Kansas. It was my brother who taught my niece how to drive after her own father died so young.
My brother’s adult calmness is so opposite his younger self. However, his kindness was always there. It was my brother next to me in a movie theater when a strange man sat next to me. And it was my brother who got me away. (See blog below.)
It was my brother who said to his friends, “Do not bother my sister. Only I can do that.” It did protect me a bit from his teenaged buddies. But we still could drive each other crazy.
Of course, my sister and I love him in return. We know that it is our brother who keeps the peace between us when we have a bit too much time together. His laughing questions, “Are you two still speaking to each other?” “Did you kill each other yet?” After I spend a week with my sister, are always answered truthfully. Thankfully we are both still alive. We give him the run down, only one or two fights so far. But we are okay.
I have seen many siblings stop speaking to each other after their parent’s passing. Not in our family. We have affection and fun together. And we have my brother’s words:
“There is no item worth fighting over, they are only things.”
And he is right. He is the Best Brother Ever. And he did save my life.
https://zicharonot.com/2017/01/19/brothers-and-sisters-must-stick-together/
https://zicharonot.com/2014/10/10/hidden-memories-they-do-exist/
zicharonot 
How fortunate you are in so many ways—not only because he saved your life, but because you have such a wonderful relationship with your brother. (And remember my recent comment about how dangerous life was back then—no seat belts, no child seats!)
Absolutely. I remember my Dad throwing his arm out when he had to stop the car quickly to make sure none of us flew into the front seat. Much more dangerous.
Hmm, that brought back a memory. My dad was taking me somewhere in the car, and I was in the front seat. He had to stop short, swung his right arm in front of me, and burned me (just slightly–just a small singe) with the cigarette he was holding in his hand while driving. SO many dangerous things going on at once!
Well the smoking made it worse! But yes the instinct to throw out an arm seemed to be the way of saving someone. It helped a bit, but really distracted from driving! Seatbelts and car seats are so much better!
At the very least children should have been in the back seat! But what did people know back then…. 🙂
I feel a blog developing. 😊
I thought you were the oldest? Born first… so where you lead…he follows. LOL!
I am not the oldest.